


Sonoluminescence - The glow of tones

by Otakuplant



Category: Dororo (Anime 2019)
Genre: Ableism, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Blood and Injury, Canon-Typical Violence, Drama, Families of Choice, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Drug Addiction, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Not Canon Compliant, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Riba - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-21
Updated: 2021-03-12
Packaged: 2021-03-13 13:20:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 78,247
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28904025
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Otakuplant/pseuds/Otakuplant
Summary: Itou Hyakkimaru, the son of a doctor with multiple physical disabilities, who prefers to go for a walk at night, where he hardly ever comes across any other soul.Daigo Tahomaru, nice boy from a good family who never thought that the world had so much more to offer than what he could see with his eyes.When these two meet by an unlikely coincidence, their previous lives are turned upside down. And that of the people around them gets ripped apart.
Relationships: Dororo & Hyakkimaru (Dororo), Hyakkimaru & Jukai (Dororo), Hyakkimaru/Tahomaru (Dororo), Hyogo & Mutsu & Tahomaru (Dororo)
Comments: 13
Kudos: 9





	1. Analgesia

**Author's Note:**

  * A translation of [Sonolumineszenz - Das Leuchten von Tönen](https://archiveofourown.org/works/27876374) by [Otakuplant](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Otakuplant/pseuds/Otakuplant). 



> Hello, this is an English translation of my fanfiction "Sonolumineszenz", another modern day accidental sibling incest AU, which nobody asked for, but which I wanted to write anyway because the idea didn't let me sleep in peace for a month... Since my English is not that good, I mainly use the google translator and correct obvious mistranslations. However, since he only works literally, some things may sound strange. I hope it's readable anyway. Have fun <3  
> P.S.: If you translate this story into another language to read it, please use the german version. Thank you.

The darkness was all-encompassing. As Daigo Kagemitsu walked down the stairs with resounding steps, lighting the path with nothing but the glow of an old oil lamp, it seemed to him as if the darkness of this place enveloped him more with every step. Crawl closer. Fumble for his feet with invisible fingers to make him fall and devour him. But he didn't falter, didn't hesitate. At the end of the stairs, the darkness retreated as if it would finally clear the way to what awaited him here. Giant figures slowly peeled out of the blackness, statues with distorted grimaces and greedy throats. Their appearance left no doubt as to what they were supposed to represent: demons.

There were twelve, lined up on the sides of the great round vault. One figure more grotesque than the next. Kagemitsu went to the centre of the room and the statues seemed to be staring down at him as he put the oil lamp down on the ground. He began to speak in a firm, commanding voice. "Demons, listen to me! I am Daigo Kagemitsu, current head of the Daigo family. For ages you granted assistance to my ancestors when the gods denied it. So I too visit you today and propose a pact! Grant me your help to expand my power and secure the wealth of my family so that the Daigo house may rise to glory of times past! In return, I will offer you whatever you deem appropriate. Whatever you desire, it shall be yours! Do you comply?"

His voice had scarcely faded away when a deafening noise came from all sides. As if rocks were bursting and the rumble of thunder rang out right above him. The oil lamp flickered, died and a lightning bolt shot up from the earth directly into the man's forehead. Before he could even move a finger, the lightning had burned out again and the rumbling stopped. In the absolute darkness the statues seemed to give off a strange glow, before suddenly the oil lamp flared up again and everything seemed as if nothing had happened. Kagemitsu touched his forehead and felt blood. He paused a moment before he got up and, as if in a trance, started the way back up the ancient stone stairs. The pact was sealed. Now the price had to be paid.

\- - - - - - - -

16 years later

\- - - - - - - -

Red. A red spot between several human shadows. The young man knelt like a predator in the bushes and waited for the red to clear away from the others on the opposite of the park. He had to catch it alone, he had promised Papa that. So he waited. What time was it? Dororo was probably already in bed and would scold him tomorrow. Did Papa sleep too by now? ... Most of the people by the red also seemed to have lain down some distance away. Did they sleep on the ground? What word did Dororo use when someone was sleeping on the ground outside? Tramp? And Papa had corrected her, they would be called homeless. So if they were homeless, they wouldn't go. That made things more difficult. Maybe if everyone was asleep? ... Yes, if he moved quietly it would work. He could kill the red without the others seeing him. Papa always reminded him of it. "If you kill a demon, nobody is allowed to see you. Because to us, demons look like humans and everyone would think you were a murderer." Demon, a strange word. Ah, finally the last person had moved away and laid down. He moved slowly through the undergrowth towards the red. Should he still wait? But then the red turned in his direction. It seemed to be talking, but he couldn't understand anything. Still too far away. Then the shape of red began to change, became larger, more misshapen and it grew more legs. How could others not notice such a thing? And then the seeing always said that HE was blind! Now it came up to him, attacked. He too ran now, towards the red. Something from this misshapen figure shot towards him so he moved to the side. But one of the things hit him anyway, but not hard enough to prevent him from moving. Good, now it was right in front of him. He let his two hidden blades snap out and had obviously hit it, because there was a resounding roar, then it fell silent and the red became smaller again, shrank to human size. "I knew it, it's really you! That you're still alive!" A woman's voice. "So he was the only one unsuccessful. Are you here to get everything back-" Done. Because the red was so busy talking, he was able to deliver the fatal blow. Just as it fell to the ground, something hit him hard on the back, so that he almost fell. One of the people seemed to have woken up and pushed him away from the red. "You bastard, what are you doing to Bandai-sama !?" A man. Had only one actually woken up because of the screams? Maybe he should recommend his implants to them. Whereby the one on the right side just gave an unsteady creak. Was probably damaged. Would papa scold him? "Oh god, Bandai-sama! Murderer! Help! HELP!" And the man ran away with a lot of shouting. The other people in his field of perception also became restless and woke up. So they were not deaf after all. The red was now completely gone, leaving something grey behind. High time to go. He had just tucked his blades back in his arms and was running when it suddenly hit him like a violent blow. From one moment to the next something ran through his body, wandering like threads into every corner, under every patch of skin. What was that? WHAT? He suddenly got ... signals? From his skin? WHAT? He couldn't concentrate, got too much information from his body at once! WHAT? CONCENTRATE, HYAKKIMARU! BREATHE IN! HOLD! BREATHE OUT! Breathe in! Hold. Breathe out. In... Out... Good. The signals ebbed, turned into an uneven background noise. Very good. He would take care of it later, now he had to go home. A step. Signals from his right leg, his real body. FOCUS! Next Step. Pressure around his left thigh. Unpleasant. Focus. Next Step. Next Step. Next. Faster this time. And again. Once again. It was possible. Don't think about it, just do it. Concentrate, don't get distracted. Were there voices? Unimportant. Get out of the park. Along the road. One foot in front of the other. Yes, it was much better now. And further. Continue. It had to be very late, no one else met him. Continue. Good. Continue. But if he was unlucky, he met a policeman. Continue. Continue. He must have looked suspicious. Continue. And he was seen. Continue. He was seen killing a "human". Continue. That was bad, even if there wasn't a body, because a red just disappeared when it died. Continue. He had promised Papa. More ... Finally Hyakkimaru was standing in front of the house and Papa was waiting at the door.

"You look awful, Hyakkimaru." Yes, he could imagine that. He had actually hoped to have to talk to Papa not before tomorrow. It was all too much right now. Still too much information from his body. Now that he wasn't just concentrating on his steps, what was previously just noise in the background became stronger again and pushed itself more and more into his perception. That was probably what was called "pain". Even if in very different ways. But yes, his whole body hurt. "Come on now, you can't stay there all night." Papa held out his hand to him, but he flinched. Please, not another stimulus, new information. "Hyakkimaru? Are you alright? Are you hurt?" He could clearly hear the concern in Papa's voice and saw Papa's movements becoming restless. He didn't want Papa to worry. It was actually good. He had obviously got back another piece of himself. It was just exhausting for him to process everything right now. Hopefully it got better quickly. Though it hurt, he put his hand on the tracheostomy valve to speak. "Pain, papa." His voice sounded even scratchier and weaker than usual. And suddenly-

Jukai reacted just in time when Hyakkimaru suddenly fell forward. Before he could hit the ground, he caught him and began to carry the unconscious teenager into the house. As he carefully laid him down on the treatment couch in one of the consulting rooms and undressed him, his thoughts worked at full speed. Hyakkimaru was in pain, so he must have preserved his nervous system. Which means he had destroyed a demon and was probably injured in the process. Jukai started examining his son. A puncture wound on the right shoulder, probably just past the lungs, upper ribs and shoulder blade possibly cracked, but most likely not broken. About two centimetres in diameter. It had even stopped bleeding on its own. No other injuries than a few scratches on the face. The boy was really always absurdly lucky and with his extraordinary ability to heal himself, this injury would heal quickly and without complications. The man got the necessary bandages and a couple of damp towels. It would be more difficult for Hyakkimaru to get used to his new nervous system. Just the constant little perceptions about the skin, which the ordinary body simply didn't register out of sheer habit ... Yes, that would be a challenge. But Jukai was confident that his son would get it under control quickly. Because if not he, who was left on his own as a newborn baby for who knows how long without medical care, and in a state that according to every common definition of the world had to be seen as not viable, then who? He cleaned the wound and carefully bandaged it before cleaning Hyakkimarus skin and then the prostheses with the damp towels. The boy had leaves and twigs in his hair and was covered in dirt from top to bottom. Had he crawled across the ground? The first thing he needed in the morning was a bath. Jukai had to laugh a little. How would Hyakkimaru react to the warm water?

It was one of those dreams in which he was somewhere else. These were the ones he liked best, as it always seemed to him that he was actually visiting this other place. The little glow. He didn't know what it was, but it was the only one of this colour that he knew. It never did anything, just stood there, not bigger than a potted plant and rigid as a stone. And even Hyakkimaru usually did nothing here, just sat in front of it and looked at the beautiful colour. Something radiated from that little thing, beautiful and comforting. Sometimes someone else was there too, kneeling in front of it and holding very still and he always got very sad about it, even if he didn't know why. It was always the same person and in the past he had tried again and again to touch the person, but he couldn't, so he had given up and just took note of it when the person was there. But today he was alone and enjoying it because something was different. He felt something. He couldn't find the words for it, but it felt good. The pain disappeared and Hyakkimaru would like to be with the beautiful glow longer. But he already noticed that he was slowly waking up. Was it morning already?

"And that's called tweak, Aniki!" With these words Dororo pinched her brother's leg firmly. Hyakkimaru almost kicked her in reflex, but controlled himself just enough to just hit his left hand on the table. Damn it, how many other kinds of pain was there? He was already familiar with pressing, scratching, itching, pulling, poking, pricking, stabbing, hitting, biting, squeezing, burning and cutting just through the skin. Then there was the heat over the gas stove, the cold in the freezer and the electric shock from the electric fly swatter. Let alone the pain in his right shoulder, under the skin and inside his body. Why did hunger hurt? And then that headache too! Now many words from his audio books finally made sense, such as "suffering", "torture" or "sadist". Because his little sister just seemed to be enjoying tormenting him. He didn't regret that he could "feel" now, but he was wondering how other people could endure it all day long. According to Dororo, he hadn't even got up two hours ago and he already wanted to go back to bed. He liked his bed, it didn't hurt. It was soft. Or the water in the bathtub, it was soft too, albeit different. Still pleasant. "And that-", oh dear, one more thing, "is called caress." And with that, Dororo put her hand on his head and began to move it back and forth with light pressure. Ah right, that didn't hurt, on the contrary, he liked that. Dororo laughed. "I'm about to go to training. Uncle Jukai is in the office next door and works. Do you need anything else?" Hyakkimaru waved a hand. He'd just go to his room and go back to bed. Because of the injury on his shoulder, Papa had forbidden him to go to kendo training with Dororo for the time being, so he had no better plans. Papa almost never forbade him anything, but when he did, he was serious about it. "Good, I greet Biwamaru-sensei from you. See you later Aniki!" And gone she was. Hyakkimaru sat a little longer before standing up and pouring himself a glass of water. The glass itself was initially cool on his lips, but quickly became warm. The water, on the other hand, took longer to reach body temperature, even after it had flowed down his throat. Strange feeling. Would he ever get used to it? He licked his lips and took another swallow before putting the glass in the sink and going to his room. There he took off his clothes first. Damn it, the shoulder, that hurt ... But finally no more scratchy labels, no more pressing fabric on his skin. As he loosened the hair tie, his hair brushed down his back. That was what he thought was called tickling. Now only the bandages on his shoulder were pulling a little, but he didn't care any more when he sat down on his bed, removed the sound processors of his cochlea implant, his left leg and right arm and lay down. Oh, so soft ...

When Hyakkimaru woke up again, it was so sudden that he wondered why he had woken up in the first place. Then he felt a pain and a growl in his stomach. Ah, he was hungry. Didn't help, he had to get up. He grabbed his right arm and pulled the prosthesis over the stump. He didn't really like taking his arms off, it was such a fiddly thing to put them back on. But it had to be while sleeping, at least on one arm, so that the skin underneath could recover. Papa had told him this, so it has to be true. After putting his left leg and the sound processors back on, he searched for his clothes that were lying on the floor next to his bed and slowly got dressed. Hm, the clothes felt different now. Not so ... uncomfortable any more. Lucky, his body finally seemed to get used to it. The pain on his shoulder had also subsided, it was now more of an ... itch. Ah, and he'd pulled his shirt inside out again. Now he finally noticed it himself. Only when Hyakkimaru thought he was properly dressed he did leave his room and head towards the kitchen. "Aniki, I thought you wouldn't get up any-more! Well, have you had a good beauty sleep?" He made a rude gesture in Dororos direction. "Hyakkimaru, I saw that." Right, papa was there too. "You came just right for dinner. Sit down, we were just about to start." No sooner had he sat down than papa put a plate in front of him with the words "Well, enjoy your meal". "Bon appetite!" answered Dororo and according to the noises she was eating rather hastily. He had just taken the spoon when she asks "Tell mi, Anigi, are yu tasding somding nau?" Good question, he hadn't eaten since yesterday. "Please don't speak with your mouth full, Dororo, you're making a mess. Well, Hyakkimaru has his nervous system now, but the sense of taste is closely linked to the sense of smell. So it's questionable whether it tastes the same for him as it does for us. Ah, wait a minute ..." Papa got up again and took a few things out of the cupboards. Then he put it on the table next to the plate in front of Hyakkimaru. There were five small bowls and a glass. "These are things that you will definitely taste. But after each time you should drink some water. Try it." He took the first bowl and brought it carefully to his mouth so that he could slide his tongue into it. It was kind of coarse-grained, little granules that melted on his tongue and spit collected in his mouth. He got thirsty and had to swallow. "That was salt, the taste is salty. It is in a lot of dishes. Be careful that you never eat too much of it, otherwise you will feel sick." Salty, huh. He drank some water and took the next bowl. There were a few drops of a liquid in it and when they touched his tongue, his body shook involuntarily and he felt his face grimace. Dororo burst out laughing. What was that? That was terrible! But ... somehow ... he wants it again? That was confusing and his tongue ran along his palate, hoping to get rid of the taste before he thought of the water and took a mouthful. Papa seemed to be suppressing a laugh as well when he told him what it was. "That was a little lemon juice, it tastes sour. And the next thing is grapefruit juice, bitter taste." He wanted to get it over with, so he went straight to the next one. And spat the contents right back. God-damn bloody hell, that was worse than sour! Why should he ever eat something like this? As he drank water again, he wondered if he really wanted to try any more. Two bowls were still missing and it had gotten worse and worse with each one. Papa seemed to read his thoughts. "Don't worry, you will definitely like the next one." - "Yes Aniki, don't worry, the next one is really delicious." He looked sceptically at the next bowl before carefully sticking his tongue in again. Although it was again small grains that dissolved on his tongue, it was fundamentally different from the salt. It was like his tongue was getting warm and his first thought was MORE! Unfortunately there was nothing left in the bowl and he licked his lips. Yes, he liked that. Papa laughed. "That was some sugar, taste sweet. Most people like that." Yeah, he couldn't imagine anyone not liking that. He took the water glass again and then ventured to the last bowl. At first he thought the bowl was empty, but then he notices that he had a fine powder on his tongue. For a moment he tasted nothing, but then his tongue suddenly got hot and hurt like he'd burned it. He quickly reached for the water and took a long sip that he held in his mouth. Slowly the sting subsided and he swallowed. "It was a bit of Chili powder, the taste was hot. Not a taste in the strict sense but rather a pain stimulus, but a lot of people like that too." Well, this he didn't understand. Why should you like something that hurts you? He drained the rest of the water and saw the plate with his food in front of him, which he had not yet touched. "Those were the basic tastes that you will definitely perceive with your tongue. There is still umami, but that is not a very clear taste. You will notice it, however. So then, now enjoy it." Interesting to know. The stinging on his tongue was gone by now, Hyakkimaru brought some of the food to his mouth and took a small bite. Slowly he let the food wander through his mouth. Yes, he knew the consistency and he tasted something, but it wasn't as clearly separated as in the bowls. What was that? A bit hot, but also sweet. There was also a little salty. All in all, it was more like a feeling in his mouth. Warm, round, soft, thick. He liked it. He swallowed and pressed the valve in his throat to speak. "I like that. Rice?" He took another bite. "Yes, that's curry rice. If you like, I can make another tomorrow," Papa offered. Then Dororo called out "HEY, there should be Ramen tomorrow!" Hyakkimaru didn't really care what exactly was to be eaten, he just wanted to get to know as much as possible. "Ramen." His little sister burst out cheering: "YES, did you hear? Hyakki wants Ramen too!" Papa sighed. "You're spoiling her when you're too lenient, Hyakkimaru." The amused undertone, however, indicated that Papa was not serious. He knew Papa loved Dororo as much as he did although she had stolen his wallet, his keys and then the entire food supply in the house when they first met ... When they had cleared everything after dinner, Hyakkimaru decided to go out again. "Do you think this is a good idea? You know your shoulder will take some time to heal." Papa sounded worried again and Hyakkimaru pressed the valve. "Just going for a walk. Promised." Papa sighed: "Take care and don't come home so late again." Then he heard Dororos hasty steps. "Aniki, I'll come with you! Are we going to the Forus?" He thought for a moment, then shrugged. If Dororo was there, Papa might be less worried. If only because he and Dororo would definitely be back earlier. A ten-year-old was too noticeable late at night ...

They had just arrived in the shopping- and nightlife district when Hyakkimaru stopped suddenly. Dororo paused too, wondering what had made her big brother stop. Did he see anything? She looked down the street, many people were out and about, some probably heading to cafes or bars, others maybe on their way home. Lots of couples, an advertising lady distributed handkerchiefs. A couple of high school boys lounged at the entrance to a maiden café. A policeman talking to a woman. Nothing conspicuous so far. She looked back at Hyakkimaru and knew she was missing something, because that's how she had seen him just once. His eyes wide open, his jaw clenched tightly, his facial expression full of disgust. He seemed to pull himself together with such strength not to attack whoever or whatever that his body trembled slightly with tension. She carefully grabbed his side, he wouldn't feel it on the hand. No matter how well he could move it, a prosthesis remained a prosthesis. "Aniki, what is it ...? Is it a demon?" she said just loud enough that no one else would notice. It was clearly an effort for Hyakkimaru to manage even a nod. Oh dear, that was bad! She had to get him out of here quickly before anything could cause him to lose his temper. There were people everywhere! There would be a mass panic if he started attacking someone with his hidden blades now! In her mind's eye she could already see tomorrow's headline: >> Another serious case of juvenile delinquency! 16-year-old attacks passers-by with knives! << Dororo began to push her big brother with all her strength so that he might lose sight of the demon for a moment and be approachable again. "Aniki, come on now, don't make us unhappy! I'll think about something, I promise! But now come to the side!" And miraculously, her brother moved in the direction she was pushing him, towards a side street. However, his gaze always stayed on the same spot. Right in the middle of the street, where - Oh, fucking shit, the cop and the woman. Great. Please please please let it be the woman! Finally in the alley, at least poorly hidden from prying eyes by the dim light, Dororo could finally stop pushing. "Alright, who is it?" she asked with her eyes fixed on the two people in question. Hyakkimaru replied, still noticeably tense: "Middle, two." Excuse me, what the fuck, both?! This got worse with each second passing by! Alright, she promised she would think about something. So, use your brain and think. The two demons had been talking to each other for a while, so they didn't seem to know each other only fleetingly. Maybe if she got close enough she could find out their names. Then Hyakkimaru would be able to find them when his shoulder was healed. Yes, at least with the policeman that was realistic. The woman's name ... we'll see. All that's left to do now is to set aside this murderous teenager somewhere where he wasn't a threat, but at the same time could intervene should something go wrong. You never knew ... Yes, the burger restaurant was the perfect place. She would just sit him at a table by the window with a portion of fries. Perfect. She let Hyakkimaru know about her plan, and while he didn't look enthusiastic, it was the best course of action under this circumstances. She pulled her older brother, who was almost gritting his teeth, into the restaurant, ordered the large fries and sat him at the window. "And now you keep an eye on me, I'll hurry up. And don't forget to eat, otherwise it will look suspicious!" And even if the expression on his face clearly said "Are you insane? How should I eat something now?", he took some fries as agreed and began to chew on them while he proverbially impaled the two target persons on the street with his glance. Only Hyakkimaru was able to bring so much negative emotion into glass eyes! Dororo strolled across the street as if by chance, very slowly past the two demons in human form as if she were interested in the billboards. "-and my girls get restless. Shouldn't we look into this?" The woman seemed to be seriously concerned. "You worry too much. Don't forget that these three were the weakest from the start, so it could also have been stupid coincidences. You know how fragile human bodies are," replied the policeman in a tone that sent a chill down the girls spine. "But still! He won't like that-" Something about the way they talked sounded wrong. She spins on the spot as if by chance and tried to catch a glimpse of the policeman's nameplate. Ari-chi? No, ji-goku. Strange name. The woman looked covered in make-up and seemed to use an enormous amount of perfume, the clothes should be somewhere between classy and sexually provocative. A hooker? Then the policeman suddenly looked at her. Damn it, was she listening too obviously? "Hey little one, what are you doing here? Where are your parents?" the policeman asked in a friendly voice that had nothing to do with the tone from before and leaned down to her. Time for the escape plan! "Sorry, I'm just passing the time until my big brother has finished eating! Over there, there he is." With that, she turned to Hyakkimaru, laughing nervously, and beckoned him. Come on, wave back, idiot! Ah, he understood, he raised his arm to indicate a wave and pointed to his almost empty fries. Seriously, he had really eaten it? "Well, you two better go home now, it's already late and you surely have school tomorrow?" Again that irritatingly friendly tone. "Yes, you are right. I wish you a nice evening!" And with that she quickly bowed goodbye and ran to Hyakkimaru. In her back she thought she felt something like thirst for blood, but when she turned around briefly at the door, the two demons had disappeared.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, dear readership.  
> Hopefully that you're still here means you've enjoyed it so far. It's really been a long time since I last wrote anything, my last FF was from ... 2010 ... Yes.  
> In the first chapter Tahomaru didn't appear because I wanted to determine the setting a bit first, but from the next chapter it actually starts. Most of you will have noticed that I modified Hyakkimarus skills. However, I refer to the fact that he had telepathic abilities in other adaptations, for example, so I don't find it necessarily absurd. Otherwise, please see it as artistic freedom <3  
> What is also important for me to note: I will add a few more tags in the course of the publication that would already anticipate too much of the story. However, in this story I also deal with some tougher topics that some people might trigger. That is why I will write out warnings in the respective foreword which topics are at least touched (!) (Which does not mean that there will be a lot of text. A stronger hint is enough for me. I just want to be very careful ...). And please, please take them serious. If any of the interested readers can think of a trigger in the further course of the story that I have not considered (I am also only human), please do not hesitate to point it to me. Thank you so much. In any case, I would be delighted if you, dear readers, follow the story further and maybe tell me what you think of it. And if you want: The complete story is basically finished and gets an update every week, depending on how quickly I can proofread everything again (and again and again), but I still need a beta reader. Interest? <3 
> 
> Stay healthy and save <3  
> Sincerely yours  
> Otakuplant


	2. Keynote

One week. It had taken a bloody week for Jukai to allow Hyakkimaru to go demon hunting again. It had been a tedious long week for everyone involved. Hyakkimaru paced tense around the house because he couldn't spend the whole day listening to the same few audio books, listening to music and jingling the piano. Firstly, he already knew the audio books by heart and secondly, he did not understand most of them anyway because he lacked the sensory impressions. Same with his music. And he just simply lacked the patience to play the piano! Even while tending to his beloved potted plants, he remained tense. While he bumped into all sorts of things during these restless phases and kicked something over every now and then, Jukai had an angelic patience to keep this mood off and everyday life peaceful. Not to forget that he also had patients who needed care. But he managed to do it without increasing his tablet consumption, which could definitely be considered a success. Dororo, on the other hand, ran away on the first day and was hanging around who knows where. However, she probably went to school, at least so far neither this school nor the youth welfare office had asked about her whereabouts. In addition, food disappeared from the refrigerator at night ... Although Hyakkimaru could have left the house at any time, Jukai had never forbidden him to do so, but he probably didn't trust himself that he would not then rush off to look for and kill the demons. Now, at last, he was sitting reasonably quiet on the treatment couch while Jukai inspected his shoulder. As expected, the injury was barely visible. "Hyakkimaru, please stretch your arm up ... Fine, now to the side ... Okay, to the front ... And finally to the other shoulder ... Very good. Well, everything is perfectly healed. But before you run off- "Hyakkimaru had already wanted to jump up as suspected, but the doctor had foresightedly placed his hands on the teenager's shoulders to hold him back. "Please listen to me. I know that you want nothing more than to get all the parts of your body back. But don't forget, with every new part you become more vulnerable. You will now have to fight more carefully. So far you have not felt any pain when you got hurt, but now pain will distract you, limit your movements, maybe even paralyse you. You could even die from it! " With every word, Jukais voice grew more urgent. It was important to him that his son understood the meaning of his words. "So I ask you, talk to Biwamaru-sensei first. He can help you. Please ..." Hyakkimaru said nothing, but had also stopped rebelling against the hands on his shoulders. In the end he just nodded before leaning forward to press his forehead to his dad's and also to put his arms around him. The arms Papa had given him. Like so much else. Even his life.

That evening, as if nothing had happened, Dororo was sitting at the table again and literally swallowed her second portion of Oyakodon. "Hey, is there more?" - "No, you have just eaten the last bit. But there should still be pudding in the refrigerator-" - "No, I already ate that earlier." And with that she shrugged her shoulders nonchalantly, as if it were the most normal thing in the world to first disappear for a whole week without comment and then also to eat the dessert before dinner. But well, when you consider that she had lived more or less alone on the street for years, nothing was surprising any-more. Jukai just sighed briefly. "So, can you tell us where you've been the last week?" The girl did not let herself be asked twice and began to report wildly gesticulating. "Well, since Aniki was utterly useless the last few days-". There was a snort from Hyakkimarus direction. "I made tracks and tried to find out a bit about our demons. Yeah, don't look like that, Aniki! You better pin your lugholes back, it gets interesting! I really spared no effort and laid in lookout to track down our two friends! I also visited a few old friends- ". A sigh from Jukai. "Now hold on tight! This Arijigoku seems to have some influential people in his hand, so he can do whatever he wants under his uniform cap! I'll spare you details, but let me tell you that the guy himself is truly demonic even for human eyes! " Unbelieving silence from Jukai while Hyakkimaru, who either did not understand the scope of this information or simply ignored it, immediately followed up. "And the other?" - "Hey, you could be a little more impressed! But well, can't expect different from you ignoramus, right? The woman is called Maimai-Onba, I have no idea whether her name is really that. She is well known as a pimp and probably operates several love hotels. But no one could tell me exactly where those are, because she probably also run a lot through straw men.” After this dramatic reporting, Dororo leaned back in the chair and enjoyed the feeling of having left the elders speechless. Then Hyakkimaru asked suddenly: "Dororo, did you eat my pudding?"

When Hyakkimaru and Dororo set out for kendo training the following morning, they took a completely different route than usual. According to Dororo, this time they were allowed to train in a school gym, as their usual training rooms were probably unusable due to a water ingress. However, this school seemed a long distance away as walking was not an option, they had to take the bus. Hyakkimaru didn't like taking the bus. Strictly speaking, he didn't like driving anything at all, mostly there were so many people in a confined space and the jolting while driving made him dizzy. Today, however, he had no choice so he gritted his teeth and endured it. Fortunately, the fact that it wasn't as hot on the bus as it was outside made it a little more bearable for him. Still, he would probably never like it. When they finally got to their current training location, Dororo seemed impressed. "Wow, a real snob school!" Then she added, "Would it be worth breaking in here?" Hyakkimaru pretended not to hear her. A voice came from behind them: "I would ask you not to do that. The school principal is an old friend of mine and it would be a shame if we could never train here again because someone is a little pickpocket, right? " Ah, Biwamaru-sensei. "Hyakkimaru-kun, nice that you are better. Let's wait a little longer for Saru-kun, then we can go in, nobody comes today except you." Dororo replied indignantly, "WHAT? But Sukeroku owes me a rematch!" - "Well that will just have to wait, won't it?" The amusement in her Senseis voice could be clearly heard, as steps were already approaching from the side. "Good morning, Sensei and Hyakkimaru. Hello twerp." And then it started: "Fuck you too, monkey face. Well, ready to get your-" Biwamaru-sensei intervened, otherwise it would escalate soon. "Well, let's go in now. I think we're already expected inside." And with that, her Sensei went ahead of the building. As Hyakkimaru followed, he could still hear the taunts between Dororo and Saru behind him, slowly increasing in coarseness. The two would probably only trash each other today. Then something occurred to him. "Sensei, who is waiting?" The old man replied again, downright amused: "Ah yes, a few members of the local Kendo team are also there. After all, someone has to open the doors for us."

Hyogo and Tahomaru were pausing when they heard a thump from one of the outer doors of the hall. That had to be the training group that was allowed to practice here today. "I'm going," said the taller one and started to open the door to lead the guests to the changing rooms and then into the hall. Tahomaru took a swig from his water bottle. He wondered what kind of training group it might be. The principal had only said that their Sensei was an old friend of his and that the group needed a temporary place to train. And since he and Hyogo happened to be practising here at this time anyway, it made sense that they would take care of the guests. Would there be a couple of good fighters? Maybe he could find a new training partner? Because if he was honest, he had no opponents on the school team who could seriously take on him. Hyogo was the only one with whom the training was really worthwhile. Not that his schoolmates were poor, but he was ambitious and trained more accordingly. Or was someone else from school here besides himself and Hyogo on an early Sunday morning? Right, none. Then his cousin finally came in with the newcomers and Tahomaru saw his hope of finding someone with equal skills dwindle. In addition to an old, bent-over walking man with a walking stick, only two children and a teenager with long, tied hair entered the room. Unusual group composition. Was that a hobby club? Well, at least everyone was wearing proper clothing. Only the youth also wore a dark kerchief round his neck. Did he catch a cold? In July? He walked up to them and Hyogo started introducing him. "This is Daigo Tahomaru, another member of the kendo team." Tahomaru bowed slightly. "I'm delighted to make your acquaintance. You must be the Sensei?" - "Yes, I'm happy to get to know you. My name is Nanjo Biwamaru, but please call me by my first name. I don't like my last name very much." He grinned slightly and Tahomaru eyed the old man crouched on his stick. His eyes seemed strange. Was he blind? His behaviour didn't seem like his vision was restricted in any way. "We are only a very small group today, the other members are prevented or had no opportunity to come here. These are Itou Hyakkimaru and Dororo and Honda Saru." Each of the introduced bowed slightly. "It is really friendly that we can practice with you today. You should know that all of our water pipes burst this morning for some reason and have you ever tried to get a craftsman at the weekend who does not cost a fortune? But enough of this, let's get started." And after the usual greeting rituals they started. The children could hardly wait, because no sooner were they allowed to get out of the Seiza than they ran to the side and began to hit each other with their Shinai while shouting rude curses and insults. What kind of behaviour was that?! Didn't these brats know manners? "Please, ignore the two of them. They just have to let off some steam, in fifteen minutes at the latest they will be doing their kata piously. I will practice there with Hyakkimaru, so don't let us bother you." And with these words the sensei walked in the direction of the youth, who is patiently waiting some distance away. Tahomaru looked over at the two for a moment before continuing to train with Hyogo. Strange group.

Hyakkimaru was curious. One of the two people was familiar to him, as if he had met him at least once. But where? If he were one of his former classmates, he would have remembered him. Unfortunately, he didn't have much opportunity to think about it, because the Sensei was already attacking him and even if he evaded and fended off with ease, it drained his stamina. Then there were the many new stimuli that he was now receiving from his nervous system and that kept distracting him. The fabric of his Keikogi was rougher than his T-shirts and scratched, while the Hakama tickled his leg. He felt a breeze when he narrowly dodged a blow and felt the shock over his shoulders into his whole body when the Shinai met. His heart beat faster with the movement, pounding hard in his chest. All of these impressions, along with the fact that he would really feel it now when he was hit, made things unexpectedly interesting. It was exciting. So this is what it felt like to fight.

When he had initially seen the guests, he hadn't expected much, but when he looked over at them from time to time, he soon couldn't stop being amazed and Hyogo was obviously surprised too. Because both had just stopped training at some point and only looked at Sensei and Itou-kun, even if what they saw did not necessarily correspond to what they understood by their classic term of kendo. The old man moved with a speed that could rival theirs, and his strokes were precisely executed. But the youngster was obviously gifted too, he fended off all blows without unnecessary movements, no matter from which direction they came. But why didn't he attack? And why didn't they take a break? The two even didn't let out any shouts or screams, as it was normal. They moved steadily in a circle, as if the aim of the exercise were to see how long the other person held out before the sensei scored a hit ... "Hey Dororo, what's the matter with your brother? His movements seem odd." Tahomaru hadn't noticed that the children had now stood next to them and were also watching. "Well, he's just supposed to improve his defence. That's rather unaccustomed for him, so that's why his performance is so poor right now." Did he hear right? That was poor? What difference did it have to be, if even children judged it that way? And above all, what kind of unconventional form of kendo was that? An excitement seized him that he hadn't felt in a long time. It was clear to Tahomaru that he would challenge Itou-kun to a training match. And suddenly it was over, the teenager was hit head-on in the upper body, which made him stumble backwards. With one hand pressed to the affected area, he let his Shinai sink, bowed a little awkwardly and went, probably to drink some water. Tahomaru was about to follow him when Hyogo briefly grabbed his shoulder. "Hey Taho, I have to go now. One of Mutsus fellow students is moving and I'm supposed to help haul the boxes. You know how she is when it comes to such things." - "Ah, yes, that's right. See you later." And then he paid no more attention to Hyogo and quickly approached the long-haired youth. As suspected, he was just taking a sip from his water bottle, while his hand was still on the spot that was hit by the Shinai. Was he in pain? "Hey, Itou-kun?" He did not respond. Christ, was everyone so rude in this hobby club? He grabbed the other boy's shoulder. "Hey, I am talking to you!" Only now did he seem to notice him, only looked at him briefly, then raised his hand in a "wait" gesture and took something out of a small bag that had been lying next to his bottle. Then the other brushed his long hair over his ear and attached something to it. Was that ... a hearing aid? Tahomarus mouth stood open in surprise, so that he almost did not react when the other gave him a scratchy "What?" - "Um, well ..." Yeah, what did he want again? "Eh, your training with Biwamaru-sensei You seem to be good. I would like to have a practice fight with you." Yes, that's what he wanted to say. The other didn't answer and took another sip of water before nodding. He put his drink back, put his hearing aid in the little bag and went back to his Sensei without another word. As he followed the other, Tahomaru asked himself a few questions. Could he just fight a, well, disabled person like that? Did he have to be considerate of anything? What if he hurt him? Shouldn't they put on their protective gear? He didn't have more time to think, because the long-haired had already arrived in the middle of the hall and probably told the sensei about her plan. He just nodded and made room so that they could take up fighting positions opposite. Apparently Biwamaru-sensei was now acting as a judge. Well, if the sensei was okay with that, it surely was no problem ...

He wanted to fight with him, Daigo Tahomaru. Hyakkimaru was very curious about it, because until now he had really only fought with the Sensei. When they faced each other, he saw the other's soul flicker with excitement. Was he looking forward to it so much? The Sensei gave the start signal and he dashed forward, slapping him on the side, causing the other boy to stumble. He probably didn't expect Hyakkimaru to attack right away. He had to remember that he was facing a human and not a demon. During their fights, Biwamaru-sensei was always prepared to get serious, but his current counterpart had no idea. He would have to be a little more careful after all because he didn't want to hurt him. He felt the corners of his mouth lift and a grin settled on his face. Or at least not too much.

Tahomaru wished he had put on the Bogu. Because he took one blow after the next, but couldn't even hit the other just once. It hurt, and he didn't mean the bruises he was sure to get soon. He noticed very well that his opponent always slowed down inches in front of him, never hit him with full force. As if the other person was usually fighting with the intention of seriously injuring, if not killing, his opponent. He's really never faced such a terrifying opponent. Or was he just imagining it with excitement? Anyway, Tahomaru soon had enough and he gave up. With the best will in the world, he couldn't take any more. Neither his pride nor his battered body. Apart from that, it was getting late, the training time was definitely over. They all completed the ending ceremonial together and then went to the changing rooms. Heavens, he hadn't been so exhausted after training in a long time. But at the same time his excitement from the fight did not subside. He really wanted to train with him more often. His completely unconventional way of fighting had upset him, yes, but it also felt completely different. Rougher, wilder, more real. He just finished getting dressed when he turned to Itou-kun to ask for more training fights when he was left speechless again that day. He was standing there with his bare chest and was about to put on a T-shirt so that Tahomaru could see his arms completely. Or he could see where the light skin just below the shoulders disappeared under a thin fabric to which prosthetic arms were attached. Prosthetic arms ... By all gods! Not only was the boy deaf, he also had no arms ?! Tahomaru struggled with composure! Was that even physically possible? Moving like that with prostheses? "Hey, why are you staring at Hyakki?" The boy named Saru suddenly stood in front of him with his arms on his hips and looked at him provocatively. "Eh, well-" composure, Tahomaru! "I- I'm just surprised. I didn't think that ..." - "What? That such a cripple spanked your ass?" Rude brat. "No. It impresses me all the more. I can claim to be a good fighter, in the last year of middle school I was national champion. And now, completely by chance, I meet someone around my age, whose skills surpass mine that much. That just left me speechless. " The little boy snorted almost scornfully, but relaxed clearly. "Well, Hyakki is exceptional in every way. But if you still want something from him, you should hurry up. He's just out the door." And with these words Saru turned around and also left the room. Tahomaru hastily packed up his things and almost ran outside. Hopefully he wasn't gone yet! When he left the building, he could see him standing in the driveway, he and his sister seemed to be saying goodbye to their Sensei. He reached them just as they were about to turn to go. "Please wait, Itou-kun!" They both turned back in his direction while he tried to calm his breath. "I want to train with you more. Would you agree to meet me again?" Did that sound strange? Obviously, because Dororo burst out laughing. "Hey Aniki! You probably made a good impression and got an admirer straight away!" A what? Admirer? Eh, no? Yes? Well, it could be! He'd better think about that later. The older boy put his hand on the girl's head, which silenced her laughter. With the other hand he took a phone out of his trouser pocket and looked at him expectantly with the eye that was not covered by his long bangs. Ah, sure, he wanted his number. He dictated it to him, when suddenly an electronic voice from the phone repeated the number and asked: "Should the contact be added?" Itou-kun typed something in and Tahomaru felt it vibrate in his own pocket. Why did the phone repeat his number? Was he imagining things or did the phone look weird? Wait ...! Oh... No! He focused briefly on the visible eye. Yes, now he noticed. The eye fixed nothing, didn't move a bit in its socket, the person opposite was blind ... What was he still wondering about? One more thing to think about later. "So ... thank you, then we'll write to each other and set a date, yes?" Damn it, did that sound weird again? Dororo just giggled a little this time before she said goodbye with a smirk. "Yes, next time will be just as beautiful as it was today. Oh, and Aniki can't read, better give him a call! See you next time, Ahomaru! "And already she pulled Hyakkimaru away by the arm, who waved him briefly goodbye. Had this insolent brat really called him an idiot? Although he didn't care, he just wanted to go home, he had a lot to think about.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello dear readership, I hope you are well and enjoyed this chapter. Just as a supplement, I would like to say that my last own kendo training was over ten years ago and I only vaguely remember the processes. If someone wants to help me out just in case I've written some horrible nonsense, please do so. Oh, and if I use the Japanese words even though there are perfect equivalents, then only because I just like the respective word <3 Beta reader still needed <3 Stay healthy
> 
> Sincerely yours,
> 
> Otakuplant


	3. Growing

On the way home, Tahomaru forbade himself thinking about the morning. He focused fully on the present, his steps, his breathing, there was a pleasant silence in his head. But it was just the calm before the storm, and he knew that too. As soon as he got home and closed the door of his room behind him, he could calmly rise into his bewilderment. But only then. When he opened the front door, he called out to the silence "I'm back home" purely out of habit. He knew that there was a high probability that no one would answer him. The housekeeper was off today, Hyogo and Mutsu were busy, his father was at important appointments as usual and his mother had probably locked herself in the prayer room again and prayed for the soul of her stillborn first child. She had never got over it. Mutsu used to say after the beginning of her psychology studies that this trauma could have been alleviated if she had at least been able to see the baby, but by the time she woke up from the anaesthetic after the emergency c-section it had already been "disposed of" like his father had expressed it in his sometimes inimitable unpitying way. Not that anyone misunderstood him, he loved and respected his father very much, who was an honourable, hard-working and successful politician and he was proud to be his son. But he found this trait of him ... well, exhausting on good days and he could bear it then. He didn't want to talk about the bad days when they yelled at each other about trifles. It was the same with his mother. He knew she loved him. But there was always this gloom, this hole in her heart that Tahomaru knew he could never fill, no matter what he did and how hard he tried. Ah, those uninvited melancholy thoughts. He went briefly to his room to get some fresh clothes and then to the bathroom to take a shower. As the cool water ran down his skin, he inspected his body and yes, he would get quite a lot of bruises on his arms and torso. He almost looked like he'd been beaten up. Well, strictly speaking, he was. Great. When he was dried off and dressed, he went into the kitchen, and yes, just as always he found his prepared lunch in the refrigerator. When he thought about it, he wasn't hungry. So instead he went back to his room and fell face forward into his bed. And so he stayed lying for the time being, because now he noticed again every spot on his body that hurt. Tahomaru had long been proud that he was successful in kendo. Also because he trained a lot for it and the only reason why he was not the captain although he was the best on the school team was simply the fact that he was the youngest. But now he wasn't so sure any-more whether he was really as good as he thought. How was it possible that a blind person who could not even orient himself by sound knew exactly where an opponent was and how to hit it? How could it be that someone who had no arms wielded a weapon with such speed, power and precision? He was recalling the morning, trying to remember details that might help him answer these questions. In his mind he saw Itou-kun standing in front of him, remembered his movements. There was nothing tentative, nothing hesitant, no uncertainty, every movement was aimed at a clear goal. But now in his memory he noticed what he had missed before: His eyes had never moved in their sockets. It was unnoticed because one eye was almost always covered by its long bangs. He always turned his head completely in the direction in which he "looked", where "normal" sighted people mostly only moved their eyes without letting their head follow completely. Could it be that he could somehow see the world "differently"? That would explain a lot. He would just ask him about it. Then his arms. As far as he knew, there were no prosthetic arms that enabled such complex movements. But well, he basically had no idea about the subject. So what to do? Exactly, ask the internet! He picked up his phone and realized that he had a message from an unknown number.

_Please call me Hyakkimaru._

No empty phrases, no extravagant politeness, just straight to the point. That was probably his way. He saved the number and replied:

_Gladly if you call me Tahomaru._

Only then did it occur to him that the other one couldn't read the message. Oh, surely someone would read it to him, even if it was the electronic voice. Then he began his research in the unfathomable vastness of the internet.

He was just about to wash up when he noticed it. The soul. Tahomarus looked almost like his. How had he not noticed this right away? He turned off the water and picked up the towel. The fabric rubbed against his skin as his thoughts went on. If their souls were so alike, were they the same in other ways? Which could it be? Hyakkimaru realized that he was interested in Tahomaru. It never actually happened that he was interested in people who were strangers to him. But there it was again, that feeling of already knowing the other one. He wasn't a stranger to him, even if he didn't know why. He got dressed and went into the kitchen where Papa was preparing lunch. Dororo was already sitting at the table and leaning over something. She had a pen in her hand. Ah, she was still doing homework. "Aniki, what is 544 divided by four?" She sounded very bored and Hyakkimaru was glad he was no longer at school. Even if some subjects were interesting, most of the time he had been bored because there was a lot he had not understood. But maths had never been a problem and he was about to tell her the answer when Papa turned to them. "Hyakkimaru, please don't answer her. She has to learn it herself or do you want to stand next to her at school and do the maths for her?" That was an argument. "Man, Uncle Jukai, but this one is so hard!" Dororo sank back in the chair and crossed her arms, her soul flickering with impatience. "Then take a break, the food is ready anyway. Please clean up and continue later." - "But I'm almost finished, that's the last one ..." Grumbling, she began tidying up the things that she had spread over the whole table when Hyakkimaru felt sorry for her. He tapped the table briefly, so that Papa, who had just turned away again, didn't notice. She looked up and Hyakkimaru indicated the numbers one, three and six, which she quickly scribbled wordlessly in the exercise book. Then she showed him the gesture for "thank you" before putting everything in her school bag. Papa brought plates now and sighed. "Hyakkimaru, what did I just ask you not to do?" Oh, caught. He shrugged and took the glasses out of the cupboard. Dororo had meanwhile cleared the table so that they could finally eat. Papa had made Ramen again and his little sister literally threw herself on her portion. "So how was the training today?" Dororo suppressed a giggle and Hyakkimaru didn't know what she thought was so funny. "We were somewhere else today. There was a boy who wanted to fight me." Now she burst out laughing. "Fighting is good! Aniki beat the rich boy up! And then- And then he did-! Oh God, my tummy!" Dororo writhed in her chair with laughter. Somehow Hyakkimaru didn't like the way she talked about the other. He would have liked to show her a certain gesture now, but Papa was there which just ignored her now. "Please Hyakkimaru, go on." - "I won. He wants to fight me again." Then Dororo interfered again, who had calmed down a little. "Fight, sure! He wants something completely different from you." Papa's soul was briefly restless, but it was over almost immediately. Hyakkimaru did not understand the girl. What did she mean? "Oh come on now Aniki. It was obvious that he had a crush on you! Even you must have noticed that." Crush? "Well let it go, Dororo. Hyakkimaru, it's nice that you befriend someone. What's the boy's name?" Make friends. Yes, that sounded good. He'd had some classmates in the past with whom he got along well, but he'd never really been friends with anyone. "Daigo Tahomaru."

Well, if Tahomaru was allowed to believe the Internet after almost two hours of searching, there were currently no prostheses that could be moved even remotely like Ito -... Hyakkimarus arms. At least with this he was right. He had also read a lot about hearing aids and hearing prostheses. This cochlear implant somehow fascinated him. Wasn't it amazing what was possible nowadays? But an explanation for the fact that Hyakkimaru apparently could "see" something even though he was blind, Tahomaru had not found. At least not one that wasn't somewhat esoteric. Since he was still standing there with many questions despite some answers, he decided to pause the search and instead see whether his mother came out of the praying room again or maybe his father was already home. Oh damn it, everything hurt. In fact, he found his father in his study, typing something on his work laptop, as he always did. Well, he was just a very busy personality. "Hello father." He looked up at him and Tahomaru saw that he looked exhausted. "Hello Tahomaru. It's good that you're here. Can you check on your mother, please?" The hands continued to type fluently on the keyboard. "Yes, father." And that ended the conversation for now, he shouldn't disturb his father at work any longer. He went to the kitchen and saw his mother sitting there at the table drinking tea. "Ah, hello Tahomaru. I didn't even know you were home." He could see it even though she had made up. She had cried again. "How are you, mother?" - "I'm fine, thank you for asking. Would you like some tea too?" He didn't have to think twice. Although he had never liked his mother's strange tea blends, his need to please her outweighed it. As always. "Yes please, thank you." She took the second cup of her tea set and poured it. "This is a new variety that a friend sent me. I find the aroma very exciting." She said something like that every time and then the stuff mostly tasted like the water from the Koi pond. He took a sip and suppressed his gag reflex. Because yes, it was just like pond water. "How was your training today?" - "Ah, today it was very interesting. We had another training group as our guest and among them was a boy about my age. And what is fascinating, he is blind, but fights really good!" His mother looked very surprised. "A blind Kendoka? That almost sounds like something out of a fantasy story." And sure enough, she smiled a little and he took another sip. He would finish everything she put in front of him if it only made her happy. "Yes, I didn't even notice at first that he was blind. I would like to train with him again." - "What are you talking about?" Ah, now his father came out of his study. "Darling, your son has found an interesting training partner. A blind Kendoka, doesn't that sound fascinating?" His father seemed to think for a moment. "Hm, that sounds interesting, but is someone like that really an opponent for you? After all, you were national champion in your age group last year and I doubt that someone like that makes a good training partner. You surely would have to be overly considerate and won't be able to develop your skills like this." Tahomarus' first impulse was to correct his father so that it was the other way around. Hyakkimaru had been considerate of him and still defeated him. So the blindness of the other was not a handicap. But then he thought better of it. Despite everything so far today was a good day, he wasn`t in the mood to argue and on top of that his father would be disappointed to find out that his son was inferior to a disabled person. "... As you think, father." He knew that his father only wanted his best. So he was silent and took another sip of the hideous tea. His father took a bottle of mineral water from the refrigerator and was already on his way out of the kitchen. "I have a few important phone calls to make. I'll see you over dinner." His mother clutched her cup of cold tea as his father's footsteps retreated. The smile had left her face again and she sighed. And finished her tea in one gulp. Tahomaru couldn't bear to see her like that and he would have loved to try to cheer her up somehow. But he had the feeling that it would not help. It never did. He was suddenly gripped by an inner restlessness, he just wanted to get out now. "Mother, I'll be on the road a little longer, see you later." For a moment his mother looked as if she wanted to say something else, but she thought better of it and just nodded. And when Tahomaru closed the door behind him, he wasn't sure where to go.

Hyakkimaru stood very quietly on the side of the busy street. He was trying to find the two reds which were here last week. Dororo was meanwhile in the various shops and kept bringing him a new bag to look out for. When he had told Papa at home that he wanted to go again, he had asked him to get dinner right away. He was still busy in the office and might not have time to cook anything later. However, he hadn't said what to get, so Hyakkimaru had to trust that Dororo would choose something suitable. As the many souls moved past him, Hyakkimaru thought. The word that Dororo had used, crush, he wasn't sure if he had heard it before. What did she mean by that? It bothered him how she said it. As if she wanted to annoy him. He thought of Tahomaru and his anger subsided. He would love to befriend him and Papa had said he liked that. The message he had sent echoed in his head and he tried to imagine the other's voice instead of the electronic voice of his phone.

_Gladly if you call me Tahomaru._

He liked the sound. What would it sound like when he said his name? _Hyakkimaru_. He felt the corners of his mouth curl up when a smile appeared on his face by itself. The idea of the other calling him by his name pleased him, made him happy. In how many voices could he say his name? Questioning? Calling? Unsure? Certainly? Laughing? Demanding? He imagined all the emotional states he knew and at some point he had to laugh quietly. He was looking forward to hearing it for real. He focused again on the people walking past him. There were so many, but there weren't any red ones among them. Would he even find them here again? Suddenly Dororo jumped into his field of vision. "Hey Aniki, I'm done! Do you still want to go somewhere?" He shook his head. Maybe he should leave it for today, he was kind of tired. "Well, let's go then. It's getting late anyway." They shared the shopping bags among themselves and made their way home.

Right, left, straight on, straight on, left, right. Tahomaru just always took a turn. There was no destination, only steady steps through streets he did not know. Different quarters, public buildings, hidden alleys, sometimes many and sometimes few people. It all was kind of unimportant, the main thing was that he was moving forward. It calmed him down. Actually he would have loved to run, but the summer heat kept him from it and only when the sun was already low in the afternoon sky did he look around for the first time. Where did he end up? A look at his phone navigation told him that he had never been in this area. And look at the time ... Had he really wandered aimlessly for almost an hour? He would probably take the bus back. Which one drove here anyway? Before he had made up his mind, he heard someone calling from behind him. "HEY, Ahomaru!" And when he turned around, they were already standing in front of him. Hyakkimaru and Dororo. Each with a couple of different bags in each hand. "Hello Hyakkimaru, hello Dororo, don't call me that. I didn't think to meet you again anytime soon." - "Well, we didn't expect you either. Do you live here too?" With these words, the child looked at him questioningly, while the youngster smiled quietly and only nodded slightly in greeting. Seemed like he wasn't someone who talked a lot. "No, I just happened to be in the area today. But you live here?" He looked around briefly. A simple shopping street, everything is very simple. "Well almost, we went to the Forus a little longer. And we went to the Konbini too!" That explained the bags. "We live with Anikis dad in Itous medical practice, which is a few streets away. You know, Uncle Jukai is a doctor." Oh, the two weren't siblings at all? While Dororo started to tell more about Uncle Jukai, he looked at Hyakkimaru, who had still not made a sound and was now, at least in appearance, staring over Tahomarus shoulder down the street. Could he see now or not? Dororo seemed to have noticed his stare too, because she fell silent and began to look around nervously. Infected by this sudden change of mood, Tahomaru looked around again. There were still a few people around, but otherwise he could see absolutely nothing that explained this sudden tension in the two. Abruptly, Hyakkimaru pushed his bags into Dororos hand and the girl seemed to have understood something, because her face literally derailed: "Aniki, you can't be serious?" And before Tahomaru could ask anything, Hyakkimaru ran past him an inch, but without touching him. He could just see how the long-haired youth ran around a corner before Dororo pushed all the bags that had been in her hands now into his own. "Hey, be so kind and take them to Itou! We owe you big time! See you then!" And with these words she ran after Hyakkimaru. It took Tahomaru a moment to understand what had just happened. Someone he'd only met today, and from whom he got a lot of bruises and questions, asked him to bring the purchases home to an address he didn't know. WHAT?! "HEY, STAY HERE!" Tahomaru ran with the bags in the direction in which the two had disappeared, but when he turned the corner he could see neither of them. Instead, some of the passers-by stared at him openly, probably because he had screamed. "Uh ... sorry," he turned to a woman who happened to be standing nearby. "Do you happen to know how to get to Itous medical practice?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello dear readership,
> 
> I hope you are doing well. I have to say that I always have my difficulties writing Tahomaru. Because a lot in the 2019 anime revolves around the fact that he is his father's heir and that he has to and wants to bear a lot of responsibility for the people. In addition to his status as a rulers son, of course, whose stubbornness is more likely to be overlooked and his seething urge to prove himself to his father. If you take that away, I think a lot of his doggedness falls away and somehow there is only a relatively lonely boy who would do ANYTHING to make his parents happy. Fortunately, he has-
> 
> Stop, not until later :) I am still trying to find a good balance between his undoubtedly existing temper and his necessary adaptation to modern meritocracy ... That is unexpectedly difficult. Because although he belongs to the local upper class, he is just one of many there. In an early version of the story, he bawled his mother out, but that didn't seem right either. But as I said, I'm working on it and hope to do it justice at some point. Stay healthy and happy
> 
> Sincerely yours,
> 
> Otakuplant


	4. Gravitation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning: Gore

About ten minutes later, Tahomaru was standing in front of an inconspicuous building with only a small sign at the entrance indicating it was a doctor's office. Had it not been described to him in great detail, he would certainly have overlooked it. When he rang the bell there was a buzz and he could enter. Heavens, the bags were getting heavy, the thin plastic handles cut into his palms. Now he was actually in a waiting room, but nobody else was to be seen. "Sorry, is anyone there?" Should he just put the bags down and leave? Then the door across from him opened and a man with a rather thick beard stepped into the room. According to his clothes, it must have been the doctor. "Good evening, how can I help you?" - "Good evening, I'm ... a friend of Hyakkimaru and Dororo and they asked me to bring these things here. They had to go somewhere quickly." Could he say that he was a friend of the two? The man looked astonished for a moment, then a smile fell on his face. "Oh. Could it be that you are Daigo-kun?" Did they both told the man about him? "Yes, I'm Daigo Tahomaru. Nice to meet you, Itou-sensei." - "Oh please, not so formal, Jukai is completely sufficient. Just come in, I wanted to close the practice for today anyway." - "Please, don't worry. I wanted-" - "No no, really, come in." With these words Jukai guided him through another door on the side and he suddenly found himself in a kitchen. "Please just put the bags on the table and sit down. Slippers are next to the door. Would you like something to drink?" Tahomaru decided it would have been impolite to refuse any further. He changed into the slippers before he put the bags on the table and sat down. "Yes, some water please. Say ..." The man let a "Hm?" heard when he put a full glass of water in front of Tahomaru. "I hope this question is not inappropriate now, but your son, Hyakkimaru, is blind, isn't he?" Jukai thought for a moment. "Well, that's a very good question ..." This answer confused the teenager. Wasn't there a clear yes or no? "So you have to know that Hyakkimaru actually wears glass eyes. So it is impossible for him to see anything with them. And still ..." And yet he moved like a sighted person and had beaten him up in training. While he was clutching the glass in front of him, Tahomaru almost whispered: "But if he can't see with his eyes, then how ...?" And most important, what does he see? Jukai let out a sigh. "You'd better ask him yourself, I don't think I could describe it correctly." Tahomaru took a sip from the glass while Jukai began to inspect the contents of the bags and then checked his watch. "Tell me, do you want to stay for dinner?" This question caught him off guard. "Thanks for the offer, but please don't trouble-" Jukai didn't let him continue. "Oh, it wouldn't be any trouble. I'm also sure that Hyakkimaru in particular would be happy if you stayed." ... WHAT? Why should the other be happy if he stayed? Surely he hadn't made a particularly good impression today. Tahomaru felt his cheeks warm up. That's right, he actually wanted to think about that too. How did he feel about Hyakkimaru? When he answered he was surprised at how hesitant his voice sounded. "Alright, I like to stay. I'll just let my parents know about it." He took his phone out of his pocket and decided to text his mother a message. That would be enough. As he was typing, he couldn't help but ask, "How is it that you think... ..." How should he put it? But Jukai also seemed to understand without him having to say it. "Oh, just parental intuition. And the way Dororo teased him about it." He sounded very amused as he started putting vegetables on the table and preparing cooking utensils. Tahomaru was now sure that his cheeks were burning and didn't know what to think of it. Because although this conversation came closer to a certain topic than he would have liked normally, he didn`t feel uncomfortable about it. Maybe it was because of the casual way the man spoke about it."Could you maybe help me cut the vegetables? Actually, the two of them should have bring something from the Konbini, but they obviously forgot. In the bags are mostly just sweets." He sounded almost happy now, as if the fact that the children had completely forgotten their assignment to get dinner was not a nuisance, but a good joke. This reaction confused Tahomaru, but he had no chance to ask, because suddenly it quivered. An earthquake!

  
  


Dororo leaned her whole body over Hyakkimarus head and torso, while at the same time she tried to protect her own head with her arms from any falling objects. Hyakkimaru had just struck down Arijigoku. It had been an absolute coincidence that they had met him on the way home. Actually, Hyakkimaru had lay in wait in the entertainment district while she went shopping, to no avail, so that he had then made his way home without having achieved anything. But when they happened to meet Tahomaru, Arijigoku just turned the corner behind him and Hyakkimaru had stormed off without thinking. It had been quite a trick somehow to get the plain-clothed policeman into a tiny back alley without witnesses. Or had he deliberately lured them into the alley when he noticed that he was being followed? In the end, it didn't matter, even when the guy had turned into some kind of giant prickly beetle with tusks as long as Dororo herself, Hyakkimaru had won. However, he was injured on his right leg, but that seemed irrelevant when suddenly, just as the demon's body had disappeared and there was only a little sand there, he went down on his knees, grabbed his throat with a violent rattle and tore off the kerchief. Dororo didn't know what to do. It sounded like her big brother was suffocating! He gasped and scratched his whole neck violently, even tugging at the skin, so that the girl was afraid he would tear his throat apart with his own hands. Suddenly he had torn out the Tracheostoma, blood flowed in a thick gush from the hole in Hyakkimarus throat and a horrible, gurgling sound almost made Dororo vomit. But she pulled herself together! Her big brother needed her! Hyakkimaru had now leaned forward, the noises became quieter, turned into uneven, laboured breathing. The blood, which had briefly flowed to the ground in a thick trickle from Hyakkimarus neck, dried up and finally only a few drops fell. Her big brother looked up, held on to her. And Dororo could see that there was no longer a hole in his throat. Where the Tracheostoma had previously been, there was now nothing but blood-smeared skin. "Do-roro ..." Hyakkimaru was able to speak. And the ground began to sway under her feet. Dororo did her best to protect her brother and herself. Things were falling down or around them, but luckily nothing hit them. When the earth was calm again after a few seconds, she took the older boy by the shoulders. "Hey, Aniki, come on, I think it's over. We should go home quickly and see how Jukai is. Man, he'll be amazed that you can speak normally now!" She hoped the feigned optimism in her voice was enough. And finally, a little uncertain and panting, Hyakkimaru stood up. The wound on his leg was bleeding, but he seemed to be able to walk. Oh wait. He was still covered in blood. Fortunately today he was wearing a dark blue t-shirt and it was getting dark, otherwise they would have attracted a lot of attention. A siren could be heard in the vicinity, whether something worse had happened somewhere? "Aniki, wipe your neck, you still have blood there". The boy rubbed the hem of his T-shirt over his throat. Well, that would have to be enough. As they walked, Hyakkimaru staggered a little and Dororo did her best to support him. She could hear that he was in pain but pulled himself together. Somehow his facial muscles twitched often and he was still gasping for air like a fish on land. Around them, some people were hurrying down the street, they probably all wanted to go home to see if everything was okay. Fortunately, it didn't take them long to get there, and when they stepped through the door at home, they heard voices from the kitchen. More precisely that of Jukai, who was talking about vegetables. The other person mumbled meekly, Jukai started laughing. Lucky, everything seemed to be fine. "We are home!" Dororo called and was already standing in the kitchen door. She was amazed, because Tahomaru was standing there in one of Jukais kitchen aprons, doing something on the cutting board. He seemed a little disconcerted, at least his cheeks were flushed and he had a slightly desperate expression on his face. "Hey, Ahomaru! You're still here! Nice apron, what are you tormenting with the knife? Is that green peppers?! BÄH!" In response, Tahomaru waved the kitchen knife in her direction: "Stop calling me that, you mean little-!" At that moment, Hyakkimaru leaned in slightly towards the kitchen door and raised his hand in a faint wave. Whatever Tahomaru wanted to name her, it got stuck in his throat at the sight of Hyakkimaru and after a meek "Hello" he turned back to the vegetables. Jukai only froze for a moment, but nothing further showed. "Welcome home. I hope you didn't have any problems because of the earthquake?" He fixed his eyes on Dororo. "Oh, it wasn't that bad, but Aniki hurt his leg. You better take a look at it." And with these words she took over Jukais place to cut vegetables, while he and Hyakkimaru went into another room. The girl looked briefly at Tahomarus cutting board, then began to smirk: "Hey, tell me, I know that green pepper is disgusting, but do you really have to torture it like that? It doesn't deserve it!" Then the older one got angry: "Oh shut up, that's my first time to cut vegetables, okay?" The laugh fell from Dororos face "You can't be serious. You have NEVER EVER cut vegetables in your life?!"

  
  


Meanwhile, in one of the consulting rooms, Hyakkimaru lay down on the treatment couch so that Jukai could examine the injuries to his leg. Because the drying blood had stuck the fabric of the trousers to the skin, the wounds were torn open again and Hyakkimaru could not prevent the sounds of pain from leaving his throat. Several cuts inside and outside on the right lower leg, about 20 centimetres long, running lengthways. Bruises around the ankle. Not broken. No seam required, butterfly closures would be sufficient. The doctor cleaned the wounds and put the plasters on. "Are you injured anywhere else?" Hyakkimaru just shook his head. "You got your voice." This time a nod. "Then use it. I don't know what kind of monster inflicted these injuries on you, but with a little less luck you could have lost your leg. The price of your voice was almost too high, so use it, damn it!" It was rare for his Papa to be loud, but Hyakkimaru couldn't blame him. He had acted recklessly and that could have gone terribly wrong. "I'm sorry, Papa." His voice sounded brittle. What was that feeling? Something vibrated in his throat, almost like a phone. He also had a strange feeling in his head when he was breathing. Somewhere in the back and above his throat it got cold when he took in air through his nose or mouth and warm again when the air left his body. Was this how it always felt to Papa and Dororo when they breathed? "It's okay. Let me take a quick look at your neck." Hyakkimaru tilted his head back so that Papa could see his neck well. "There is really nothing left to see. It amazes me again and again how your body heals ... Well, I'll put a bandage around your leg, then you'd better change. After all, we have another guest and I have invited him to dinner. Not that he'll run away if we leave him alone with Dororo for too long. " The amused tone made Hyakkimaru feel better. The fact that Tahomaru would stay to eat pleased him. He had thought about it again and again after training, the other one was so much like him, more than any other person he had met before. Or at least what he could "see". In the past, Papa had thought a lot to find a word for what Hyakkimaru actually "saw". Most of the time they used the word "soul", but that didn't really get it because he could recognize objects and at least according to Papa things had no soul. "Aura" was closer to the point, but basically it wasn't for the same reason. In any case, at some point he had given up trying to find an exact word for it. He just noticed the surroundings, done. Papa had meanwhile rubbed his neck and leg with a wet towel, put on a bandage and cleaned up the materials. Hyakkimaru stood up and carefully put weight on his leg, gradually becoming successful in blocking out the sensation of breathing. He felt a stinging and dull throbbing from the knee down, but he could step. It was already starting to heal. "Do you still need help or do you want to go alone?" Papa tried to hide it, but he still sounded worried. "I can go myself." He was silent for a moment, then Papa just sighed. "Well, get changed quickly. I'll see how far the preparations for dinner are then." Hyakkimaru opened the side door of the treatment room, which led across the hall to his room. When he closed the door behind him, he took off his t-shirt and broken trousers and fell on the bed. Just rest for a moment, then he would be better. It's always been like that. And then he could talk to Tahomaru. With his own voice. Yes, he was looking forward to it ...

"The rice is ready. Uncle Jukai, what about the other stuff?" - "It's ready," replied Jukai, who had found a few pieces of meat in the freezer and fried it together with the vegetables and teriyaki sauce. With a devious grin, Dororo turned to Tahomaru: "And you get Aniki, he is guaranteed to have fallen asleep. Out there to the left, the last door in front of the veranda on the right." And with that she turned back to the rice cooker and began to serve a portion for each. Tahomaru, who actually didn't like being ordered around, was just glad that the cooking crash course that Dororo had forced on him was over and he couldn't get out of the room fast enough. He almost forgot to take off the apron Jukai had lent him. So, the last door on the right. As he walked down the hall, he looked around a little. There were a few framed photos on the walls and they all showed Hyakkimaru of different ages, sometimes together with Jukai, sometimes alone. Tahomaru fixed the other boy's face in the pictures. Something about it looked strange, but he couldn't figure out what it was. Suddenly he noticed something else. There was no woman to be seen in any of the photos and during the meal preparation there was no mention of another person coming home. So Hyakkimaru didn't have a mother? Did she die? Probably not, then there would probably have been photos. So had she left the family? Better to avoid the subject. It was none of his business. When he knocked on the last door on the right, there was no answer. "Hyakkimaru, this is Tahomaru. The meal is ready ..." Maybe he wasn't even wearing his hearing aid? "I come in." It was dark in the room and Tahomaru felt for a light switch. "Hyakkimaru?" Ah there. He pressed the switch and there he saw the other lying in his bed. With the back to him. Only in his undergarments. Tahomaru blushed again. Dororo, that little beast! Was that what she wanted? Didn't this child know any shame? And more importantly, did he have a sign around his neck that said that he found the other boy somehow ... interesting? Because apparently almost everyone in this house had noticed! And obviously no problem with that!? By the gods, they only knew each other since today! Was it that obvious?! TAHOMARU! FOCUS! He hadn't even noticed that he was holding on to the door frame the whole time, as if his life depended on it. Slowly he walked up to the other and tried to convince himself that it wasn't really any different than if he happened to meet Hyakkimaru while swimming. Technical question for later: could Hyakkimaru even swim? "Hyakkimaru?" The other still didn't respond. Was it okay if he touched his shoulder to wake him up? Just as his hand almost touched Hyakkimarus skin, Hyakkimaru stirred and turned around. Tahomarus hand came to rest on the sternum. "Tahomaru?"

Warm. Tahomarus hand on his skin was warm and the area began to tingle. "Hello Tahomaru". And suddenly the hand was gone again, but the warmth remained. "Uh-sorry, I- the food, the food is ready, but you were asleep, I wanted to wake you up and- um, yes, the food is ready!" And with that Tahomaru goes, no, ran out of the room. He left the door open. Funny. But well, he didn't understand a lot of what other people were doing. He got up and pulled new clothes out of the dresser. A shirt from the second drawer, trousers from the third drawer. Labels on the back, fit. Finally he wanted to put on a new kerchief, but then it occurred to him that there was no longer a hole in his throat. He briefly touched his throat again, stroked it. No resistance anywhere. Now he wouldn't have to hold his neck to speak either. How strange. He put the kerchief back, he must have been properly dressed by now. Ah, maybe that was the problem? He remembered Papa once telling him that most people felt uncomfortable when they or someone else in the room wasn't dressed. Another feeling that he didn't know. Would he get to know that too? Hm, but how often did someone come into his room? Except for Papa and Dororo, of course. And neither of them counted because Papa always saw him without clothes when he examined him. And Dororo liked to take a bath with him and sometimes helped him with the prostheses. Ah, and ... Mio had ... Hyakkimaru immediately dropped the thought. He didn't want that now, it just hurt inside his chest and then maybe the tingling and warmth of Tahomarus hand, which he still felt, would disappear ... He went towards the kitchen and could clearly hear Dororo teasing Tahomaru again. He didn't quite understand the words, but he knew the intonation well. And he couldn't help himself, but slowly he found that she was overdoing it. In the end, Tahomaru wanted nothing more to do with him, and he didn't want that. "Hey, Aniki, there you are at last. Sorry, we started without you because you're such a sleepyhead." Hyakkimaru, holding back from making another insulting gesture, sat down in his seat and picked up the rice bowl and his chopsticks. "Sorry. Enjoy your meal." And took a bite. "Ahomaru, if you keep staring at Aniki, your eyes will fall out!" Yet again. "Now finally stop calling me that, you mean little brat! I'm just impressed how well he can move with these arms! I just wanted to take a closer look!" Then he heard Papa laugh. "Yes, that's really a reason to take a closer look. In all honesty, even though I built the prostheses for him myself, I haven't the faintest idea how he moves them. I'm not even sure if Hyakkimaru knows that himself, right ? " He swallowed the bite that he had just chewed and almost choked because eating felt different now. He noticed something pushing back and forth in his throat. Eating and breathing at the same time was probably not possible. So this is what it felt like to have a functioning larynx. He coughed a little, then shrugged. "I just do it." He took another bite.

Tahomaru asked "You built the prostheses yourself?" And Jukai replied, not without pride: "Yes, because normal arm prostheses usually do not have such fine mechanisms, for example individually movable finger joints. I had to fiddle a lot. But it makes me really happy to see how well Hyakkimaru can do an independent everyday life. " Tahomaru couldn't help but look at Hyakkimaru again, who had coughed again while he continued to eat. The long-haired boy held the chopsticks like any other person. If he hadn't known that his real arms ended even before the elbow, he would not have been able to tell them apart from flesh and blood ones. Was the "skin" made of silicone? How did it feel like compared to his real skin? "But enough of that," finished Jukai, "now you're having dinner with us, but you haven't told anything about yourself yet." And with that the man looked at him with interest. "Yes, let's hear it, Taho-I-can't-cut-vegetables-maru!" He gave Dororo a venomous look, but he didn't want to be provoked by a child any more. He also glanced briefly at Hyakkimaru. He seemed interested in listening. "I visit the Senryo high school in the first year and am there in the kendo team. I've been training kendo as long as I can remember and was national champion in middle school." Then the girl shouted: "Wow, national champion! Then you have to be good! But Aniki is better!" - "Please Dororo, don't interrupt him. Hyakkimaru and I want to listen to him," Jukai asked her and she was actually silent again. "My father is a member of the prefectural parliament, Daigo Kagemitsu, and I live with him and my mother in Namagachi." - "Politicians? Namagachi? Dude, are you the offspring of an old samurai family or what?" Why did he have the feeling that Dororo was making fun of him all the time? "Yes, that's indeed true." His father had always told him to be proud of his lineage. Sure, he was proud to be Daigo Kagemitsus son. But if he was being honest with himself, his family background meant mostly that people had high expectations of his name and that tourists wandered around on their doorstep to see the "Samurai Village". Not to mention that his father used to insist that he knew the family tree by heart at least as far as the Sengoku era, if not further, including all the political twists and turns. Even if he wasn't really interested in that, at least he had the advantage that he always got full marks in Japanese history. Not that he would ever tell his father that to his face. "But when it comes to family history, my father is the better person to talk to. He likes to talk about it." Jukai gave him an understanding look and Dororo threw in: "Well, now I am no longer surprised that you have no idea about cooking. And no, that was not meant badly, it was a fact. But don't worry, I'm bad at spelling and maths is also too complicated for me! "... Was this child really thinking that he needed consolation because he had no idea about kitchen work? And anyway, what did one have to do with the other? Jukai seemed to think the same. "Dororo, that's really not a good comparison." Hyakkimaru laughed. And then Tahomaru knew that he was in love with Hyakkimaru.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello dear readership,  
> I hope you are fine. For me, since the first episode, it's been an unwritten fact that Tahomaru has no idea about kitchen chores. So, really NOT AT ALL. Because let's be honest: a rulers son who plucks a bird himself (shitty work by the way), guttes it (always let it bleed out properly) and makes a soup out of it? Not in this life, honey, not in this life :)  
> Also, I think it's a funny idea that Kagemitsu is a history nerd in modern times. I mean, as fixated as it is that his son (first Tahomaru, in the end also Hyakkimaru) is his “heir”, I can well imagine it.  
> Do you actually know people who run over you with natural warmth and to whom you can't say no? Jukai is kind of that person here.  
> Stay healthy and happy <3  
> Sincerely yours,  
> Otakuplant 
> 
> P.S: Another of my favourite shows greets you in the throat-ripping scene. Guess it? :)


	5. Singing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning: ableism, homophobia, burglary, murder

Tahomaru was just about to put on his shoes when the following sentence was uttered: "I want to go home with you." He thought for a moment that his heart stopped when Hyakkimaru said it. Did he mean that or was he wrong or did he mean that completely different? "I want to know where you live, then I can visit you." Ah, that's what it meant. Even so, his heart pounded so hard in his chest that he feared someone might hear it. Tahomaru was already in love one or two times, after all, he wasn't a child any-more and he had to know from somewhere that he was into boys, but he had never felt it as violently as now. Focus, Tahomaru. "Actually I wanted to be picked up. Besides, it's enough if I give you my address." Hyakkimaru shook his head. "But I want to spend more time with you." ... Yes, that was a very strong argument. Tahomaru felt his stomach tingling violently. "Yes, well, gladly, but-" Slowly, don't let emotions run over completely. Although, wasn't it already to late for this? "Isn't it too late for you then? It's a long way to Namagachi and tomorrow is Monday." Hyakkimaru didn't seem to understand his objection, he looked at him blankly. "Don't you have school tomorrow?" Now the other seemed to understand. "No, I don't go to school." How could Tahomaru have been so naive as to believe that Hyakkimaru couldn't easily surprise him several more times that day? "Doesn't your father mind?" The other turned briefly to Jukai, who was standing with them in the hallway to say goodbye to Tahomaru. He only looked briefly at his son before answering: "If you think that your leg is okay and promise to take care of you, I don't mind. Do you have your phone with you?" Hyakkimaru picked up said device briefly before he put it back in his pocket and put on a pair of shoes as well. Tahomarus gaze fell on the bandage on the other's right leg. How bad was the injury that he actually needed a bandage? "Well then a safe way home, Tahomaru. Visit us whenever you want. You are always welcome." So then it was decided. "Thank you, I wish you a nice evening." He would go for a late walk with Hyakkimaru now. "See you later, Papa." Would he survive without making a complete fool of himself? Hasn't he been making a fool of himself all evening? "Yes, see you later." With that, the door closed behind them and the two youngsters stood alone in front of the door. For a few seconds neither of them moved. Then Tahomaru felt something on his hand, somehow soft, but also cold. Hyakkimaru had reached for his with his artificial hand. "Come." And his feet started moving.

For the first few minutes neither of them spoke a word, they just walked silently side by side through the deserted streets. "Hyakkimaru?" The addressed only made a short "Hm?" - "What does the world look like to you? What do you see?" Hyakkimaru thought for a moment and then replied: "When I concentrate, I see the shape of things in front of me. They ... appear. When I concentrate on something else, they are gone again ... Objects are grey, plants are green, water is blue. People and animals are grey too, but light and dark." Tahomaru was amazed at the answer. "... How do you know what colours those are?" Hyakkimaru shrugged when he replied, "Papa says it might be these colours." That seemed to make sense to Tahomaru. "Oh ... why do you want to hang out with me?" This time the long-haired youth thought longer. "... You are like me." The other looked at him in surprise. "All people look different. There are ... patterns. They always move. Yours is like mine. That interests me. And ..." Tahomaru hardly dared to breathe. "And...?" Hyakkimaru took Tahomarus hand again and they stopped. He brought the hand between his artificial fingers to his sternum and pressed it against it. "I like your voice. You're warm. It tingles. I like that. I want more." Tahomarus heartbeat pounded in his ears, his breathing quickened. The other was so straightforward in everything and shamelessly defied social conventions. He had never met anyone like this before. It was almost as if he were facing a force of nature against which man-made rules were powerless. And he liked it, it embraced him, carried him away. Slowly he let his hand wander from Hyakkimarus chest over his side and onto his back as he came closer and let the other hand follow to close him in his arms. Hyakkimaru let out a pleasant sigh. And even if he couldn't feel anything through his artificial limbs, he returned the hug. Because it felt right. Because the rest of his body, which was now firmly pressed against Tahomaru, could feel the warmth through the fabric of their clothing. The breath on the back of his neck tickled, as did the other's hair on his cheek. He heard him whisper: "I'll give you all you want."

To their regrets, they couldn't stay that way forever, so after a while they let go of each other and walked on in amicable silence, only their shoulders occasionally touching as if by chance. When they reached their destination, Tahomaru could hardly believe how quickly the time had passed. "We're there. Now you know the way." - "Yes, now I know the way to you and can visit you whenever I want." Both had to laugh cautiously. Almost wistfully, Tahomaru opened the wooden property door when he saw his father walking towards him. "Tahomaru, there you are at last. Your mother is already worried." Oh dear. "I'm sorry, I've lost sight of the time. Father, I'd like to introduce you to someone." He took a step to one side so that Hyakkimaru could be seen. "This is Itou Hyakkimaru, he accompanied me home. He's also the Kendoka I told you about today." The presented bowed a little, but it seemed a little hesitant. So this should be that blind swordsman. Difficult to imagine. Kagemitsus eyes narrowed barely noticeably as he looked at the strange boy. The face, except for that stare, looked strangely familiar. "Hm, thank you for accompanying my son. But if you are blind, you shouldn't be out on your own so late. Tahomaru, Mutsu should drive him home!" Before Tahomaru could react, Hyakkimaru refused. "No, I'll be fine. Good evening to you. See you soon, Tahomaru." He bowed again and gave the other boy another small smile before turning and walking back the way he had just come. "Your ... acquaintance is pretty rude. I hope you are aware that such a person is no appropriate company?" Tahomaru closed the door before answering his father: "As you think, father. I will tell mother that I'm home and then be in my room. Good night." And with that he turned away from Kagemitsu, who stared thoughtfully at the door for a moment before he went back into the house.

That man, Tahomarus father. There was something about his soul that Hyakkimaru had learned to avoid. A gap. A lack. No pattern where Papa had told him the heart was. It was very rare for him to see anything like this. But when he did, these people had always been mean in one way or another. He remembered a substitute teacher in the elementary school, who also had this absence on the chest. Most of the time he was nice, but he also said very bad things. Often to the children who did not understand him so well. But once to him too.  _ It was clear that you fool don't understand even such a simple task. You cripple won't be anything anyway, you're just a burden to society. Why don't you freak jump out the window right away?  _ Papa got very angry when he told him this and there was quite a bit of trouble at school. But he didn't remember exactly. He just knew he didn't like people like that. When Hyakkimaru got home, Dororo was waiting for him. "Aniki, come on, let's take a bath." Yes, bathing was a good idea. He informed Papa, who was preparing a few patient files for tomorrow in the practice office, and asked him to give him a couple of waterproof bandages for his leg. The girl had meanwhile fetched her pyjamas and was already undressing in the anteroom of the bathroom when Hyakkimaru came. She asked: "Aniki, do you need help with your leg?" He nodded and took off his trousers, sat in his chair next to the washing machine and stretched out his right leg. The younger one carefully unwrapped the bandage and then stuck the large plasters on the wounds. "Alright, whoever is in the tub last is a lame duck!" And with that she hurried to the bathroom to wash her hair. Hyakkimaru finished undressing in peace, he was in no hurry. He couldn't wash his hair as fast as Dororo anyway, so why rush? When he had also taken off his hearing prostheses and finally entered the bathroom, the girl was rinsing the foam from her head and body and almost jumped into the tub. "First! Lame duck Aniki!" the child was happy and splashed around with her hands in the water. The boy sat on the stool to wash himself and his hair. Dororo meanwhile fooled around in the tub as long as she still had it to herself. When Hyakkimaru was done, he sat on the edge of the tub and removed the prosthetic leg before sliding into the tub. Then he put his left arm next to his left leg. Dororo already knew the procedure and when he held out his right arm, she took it off and placed it next to the other two limbs. Finally, with a satisfied sigh, the boy let himself sink further into the tub, so that only the upper half of his face was sticking out of the water. He had never been able to get that far into the water before because of the opening in his throat. But now it was possible for him. And he clearly enjoyed it. Dororo, who was now watching her older brother thoughtfully, began to speak. "Hey, Aniki, did it hurt a lot when you got your voice back?" Hyakkimaru didn't respond, he couldn't hear her. With that, Dororo was alone with her memory. In her head the terrible noises that the bigger one had made that evening echoed and she could still see the blood that had flowed in a thick gush from his throat. She was so terrified. Almost as bad as it was back then ... Involuntarily she moved to her big brother's side and pressed against him. Hyakkimaru seemed to sense that she needed him now. He couldn't take her in his arms right now, so he rubbed her head with his cheek. Almost like a caress. Dororo closed her eyes. Yes, her Aniki was there for her. And she was there for him. She didn't have to be afraid of anything in the world. Aniki is with her.

Tahomaru was sitting at his desk, going over the physics material. Or at least he tried unsuccessfully. Because his thoughts were stuck on the fact that he, in addition to the rather ... negative attitude of his father to homosexuality, had completely lost sight of his highly critical assessment of who was an "appropriate company". There was a reason why he had no close friends apart from Hyogo and Mutsu. He didn't want to think about what would happen if his father found out about his ... sexual orientation before he was ready to face him about it. But gradually he would really have to think about it. Because he had the feeling that it could get more serious with Hyakkimaru than with his previous short love affairs, which had basically been limited to learning to kiss (and fiddling a bit) and of which no one had even remotely noticed. Except for Mutsu and Hyogo of course, the two of them were the only ones he talked to about it. It occurred to him that he hadn't told them about Hyakkimaru yet. They actually lived in the same house, but he hadn't seen them since he got home and even though he would have preferred to tell them personally, a short message would have to do it for now. It was pretty late after all. He picked up his phone and started typing. At the same time he felt a warm tingling sensation spreading inside him and he involuntarily began to grin. Hyogo would say he looked pretty stupid now.

_ Hey, I met someone! Hyogo, you met him too, the long haired boy who was at training today, Hyakkimaru. I was with him earlier and ... we like each other! Details tomorrow, good night.  _

Yes, that had to be enough for now. But then Hyogo already answered.

_ Taho, I know he has an amazing fighting style, but what exactly happened after I left that you STRAIGHT GO HOME WITH HIM ???  _

Go home... Oh. OH NO, that's not how it was meant! Or did Hyogo just want to mock him again? He was about to get things right when Mutsus answer appeared on the screen.

_ Tahomaru, you know that I always support you and that I am happy for you, but I hope you still have all of my advice in mind? If not, here is a brief reminder of the most important thing: Sex absolutely (!) never (!!) without a condom !!!  _

Se -... MUTSU!

When the two of them left the tub, Dororos palms and soles were already completely shrivelled and she felt this tiredness, as it only came over you after a late, warm bath. She would definitely sleep well tonight. When she was dried off, she helped Hyakkimaru put his prostheses back on before she went to bed. As usual, Hyakkimaru gave himself all the time in the world to dry himself off before he went to find Jukai so he could put the bandage around his right leg again. He was already waiting for him in the kitchen and was reading something on his tablet. "Well, did the bath do you good?" When the teen answered, he sounded tired. "Yes, it was nice and warm." He sat down on one of the chairs and stretched his leg out to Jukai. He carefully peeled off the plasters to inspect the wounds again. Satisfied with their condition, he began to apply the bandage and suddenly asked, "Hyakkimaru, what do you think of Tahomaru?" The addressee didn't have to think long. "I like him. It feels nice when he touches me." Jukai did his best not to show anything. He'd started it after all because he was sure that was how they liked each other. Tahomarus looks and Hyakkimarus unusual interest in him, both were clear. He didn't mind, Tahomaru seemed like a nice boy, just made him think that his son had no idea about this whole subject and he didn't want to let him run into this new direction completely unprepared. But he also had to admit that it touched his own shame more than he would like when he heard it so clearly that Hyakkimaru wanted to be touched by Tahomaru. Well, even a physically handicapped person like his son reached puberty at some point. Nevertheless he asked further: "Could it be that you are in love with him?" The boy thought for a long time and Jukai was now done with the re-bandaging of the leg.

"In love ..." Hyakkimaru had heard this term and knew that it had something to do with love. But it meant something different than what he felt for Papa or Dororo and he had refused for a long time to interpret these words for himself, it just remained with the idea that he knew the feeling. In the past, his thoughts had always returned of their own accord to someone he didn't want to remember because it hurt too much. But if he didn't face it, he probably couldn't answer the question of whether he was in love with Tahomaru either. So he pulled himself together and remembered. A beautiful soul pattern. A voice that filled him with warmth. Kind, gentle words that told him about the world while the person uttering them changed his bandages. And songs. She had often sung to him and sometimes she had accompanied his piano playing. Mio ... Something tightened in his chest, his throat constricted, and he found it difficult to breathe. Hyakkimaru felt something burn in his eye sockets. Warm water leaked around his artificial eyes and ran down his cheeks. He couldn't remember if his body had done this before. If so, he had never felt it. Just as he had never really felt Papa's arms when they closed around him like they did now. "It's okay, Hyakkimaru. Just cry." So this was crying ...

At first he had dismissed it as imagination, but it had left him with no peace of mind. He had to check it. His wife had already gone to bed when he looked through the old photo album. And yes, there it was. This face. The boy looked almost exactly like Nui in high school, even before he married her. The boy's likely age and the fact that he was blind reinforced his suspicions, for Kagemitsu did not believe in coincidences. He put the album back in its place and made his way to the old warehouse. There, well hidden, was the access to the hall of the demons with whom he had made a pact so many years ago and had not entered the room since. Why, everyone worked towards him in one way or another, even without instructions. They rarely came into contact with him in their human shell, for example when they had useful information about political opponents for him. When he stood in front of the statues and inspected them more closely in the flickering light of the flames, he found that four of them actually had massive damage and looked less like images of demons, but more like simple dead wood. So it really had to be like that. But how could it still be alive? Didn't he tell this thing to be removed? A cold anger filled the man. If you don't do everything yourself! Then he felt his mobile phone vibrate in his trouser pocket, he had received a message. If he remembered correctly, he shouldn't have any reception down here. The sender field was empty.

_ I know you have a problem And the others know it too. But I could help you and remove it for you. And you know that I always do a proper job, not like the other bunglers. But everything has its price. Are you ready to pay?  _

"What's your price, demon?" Kagemitsu called into the dark room. A new message.

_ You are such a smart man, so you will probably find out for yourself what I crave <3 ... _

His eyes narrowed, was this monster asking ...? "Vixen, you don't really believe that I'm going to give you my son? I turn to someone else who doesn't care what he gets!" There was a horrific noise, like a rattling squeak, that echoed in the room. Another message.

_ Do not make me laugh! You don't want to give your son? You have already brought us a son! But as you like, old Hypocrite, believe me, you will regret it. I don't care, I can wait until you accept my help. But next time my price will be higher. See you ;)  _

Jukai had just put his son to bed when he heard him whisper a single word. "Mio" Yes, that's what he thought. There had been many auxiliaries over the years who had helped him take care of Hyakkimaru at times. Mio had been one of them. A very nice girl. And the boy had obviously loved her. Which was no wonder, she was a good person and had done a lot beyond her care work. Spent time with Hyakkimaru, sang to him, told stories. Sometimes he wondered if he could somehow have averted their sad fate. But it was clear to him that these thoughts were nonsensical, because none of this had been in his hand. That a burglar had chosen his house of all places when he himself had to spend a night in a clinic. That Mio had offered to stay with Hyakkimaru until he came back the next day. That she and Hyakkimaru were attacked by the same burglar when they discovered him ... No, it didn't help. But the doctor decided to take it as a good sign that Hyakkimaru was finally allowing himself to grieve after almost a year in which he had strictly refused to talk about Mio. Jukai knew that grief and memories consumed you from within, even if you thought you had repressed them forever. He closed the door behind him and went upstairs to go to sleep as well.

Hyakkimaru remembered. Or was he dreaming? Wasn't both the same in some way? Mio had told him a story about a little horse and had tried hard to make sure he understood it. He didn't really care what she was saying, he just wanted to hear her voice. At some point she asked if he wanted a "midnight snack" and went into the kitchen to get something to nibble. Then he heard noises, something broke. Mio shouting something in an unnatural tone. Screamed! He became afraid. Fortunately, he was still wearing his prostheses, so he ran into the kitchen too. Mios figure lay on the floor, strangely pale. And in front of her there was something he had never seen before. The shape was that of a person, but the "colour" was not right at all! What was it doing here? Why was Mio there on the floor? This non-human was holding what he recognized as a knife. Mio had to go away from it! The thing was spinning in his direction when he started running. Towards this thing to get it away from Mio. It pointed with the knife in his direction, but Hyakkimaru managed to turn the hands of this non-human away from him and the force with which he ran into the other pushed the knife into the thing's body. It let out a scream, knocked Hyakkimaru to the floor, and stumbled hastily out to the kitchen. He immediately moved towards Mio. The thing was gone, but Mio didn't move. Her colour had faded even further. He heard her breathing softly, but it was kind of wrong! Papa, he needed Papa! And then he heard something else. She breathed words, a melody he had never heard from her. She sang for him. He couldn't move away from her, listened to her before she fell silent. And would never sing for him again. He took her in his arms and stayed with her when her body turned the colour of things. He didn't let go of her when his body suddenly began to shake, his silicone mask fell off his face, and skin suddenly grew. And he was still with her, holding her when papa came home the next day ...

Her laughter had made his soul chime. Her voice had filled him with warmth. Her songs had touched his heart. Her words had told him about the world.

He loved Mio.

Yes, it was that feeling. Hyakkimaru knew it.

His soul made him curious. His touch made his skin tingle. His breath made his heart race. His voice promised him something completely new.

He loves Tahomaru.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello dear readership,
> 
> I hope you are doing well. Writing Hyakkimaru was pretty difficult for me at the beginning because he lacks a lot of words, but slowly I think I'm getting closer to the matter. Or is Hyakkimaru just expanding his vocabulary? :) I also modified the colours of Hyakkimaru's point of view a little, because in a modern setting where not every second person carries a sword with them, it seemed more logical to actually let them see water instead of metal. I also like the sibling dynamics between Hyakkimaru and Dororo as well as between Tahomaru, Hyogo and Mutsu. Thanks for reading and stay healthy <3
> 
> Sincerely
> 
> Otakuplant
> 
> P.S. Why do Hyakkimaru and Dororo have no problem bathing together? Because these two are just these two.
> 
> P.P.S.: Right at the start of the chapter was a pun in the german version of which I just don`t know if it works in english too. Does it?
> 
> “I want to go with you” → “Ich will mit dir gehen” means “I want to be in a (love) relationship with you.”
> 
> Well, just in case you wondered... that was the reason why Tahomaru was nearly freaking out :)


	6. Resonance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning: attempted murder

Hyakkimaru woke up from the vibration of his phone on the mattress next to him. Since when did someone call him at home? He put on one of his transmitters before he pressed the accept key and answered with a sleepy-sounded "Yes?" - "Hello Hyakkimaru. Did you just wake up?" This voice. "Tahomaru!" Now he was wide awake and quickly turned on the other transmitter unit. "Ouch, don't yell like that. I already tried to contact you a few times today, but you never answered. Well, now I know why." Hyakkimaru heard him laugh softly and smiled. "Tahomaru, I love you." He heard the other one catching his breath before he breathed again a little faster. "You- how can you just say that? That's.." Shouldn't he have said that? "... I love you too." He let the breath loose that he hadn't even noticed that he held and his heart was beating faster than usual. "So... Are we a thing now?" - "Thing? What thing?" - "You really do take everything literally." Tahomaru was laughing again and Hyakkimaru was confused. "... You have no idea what I mean, do you? Do you know what a relationship is?” He doesn't. "Hey, are you still there?" He recognizes the word, of course, but it was like all expressions that he had no idea about due to lack of experience. He doesn't see the meaning. "What is a relationship?" Now Tahomaru was silent for a while, he seemed to think about it. "Hmm ... a relationship in our case would be ... that we spend time together and do things that are fun." Hm. Sounded a bit like his time with Dororo. They also did a lot of things that were fun. For example, playing the piano. Or throwing stones very far. But he had the feeling that it wasn't the same because his love for Tahomaru was not the same as for Dororo. But why did his explanation fit them both? Better to ask. “Do I also have a relationship with Dororo?” - “Ehm, no ... Yes, but a different one ... Relationship in general ... Wait a minute! "He heard a click and then an electronic voice. "Your call is on hold. Please wait." Why should he wait? Was the question that hard? Hm ...

“Hey, Mutsu. Do you have a moment? It won't take long.”-“Hello Tahomaru. What is it?” So yes. "How would you explain the word 'relationship' to someone who doesn't know the meaning?" Hopefully she could explain it to him in such a way that he could explain it to Hyakkimaru, because if he was honest he wouldn't have thought to have to explain such a simple word at all. But on the other hand ... Was the term really that simple if he couldn't explain it straight away? "So first you would have to define what kind of relationship you mean, because you can also relate numbers to each other, but then is-" So no, not a bit easy. And Mutsu made it more complicated with her extravagant way of explaining things. “Mutsu, it's about relationships between people. Short version please.” Hyakkimaru was waiting ... hopefully. “Relationship is when people react to one another and influence each other. Depending on how people feel about one another, there is a different form of relationship with different expectations. Short enough?” - “... Mutsu, you are the best. I'll explain tonight, see you later!” He ended the conversation and took up again with Hyakkimaru.

Hyakkimaru had waited and in the meantime put on his prostheses again, which Papa had probably taken off him to sleep when he heard Tahomarus voice again. "Hyakkimaru, are you still there?" - "Yes." - "Good, well: You also have a relationship with Dororo, namely a sibling relationship. And for your papa you also have one, namely the one between father and son. Each is different because you stand differently to one another.” Yes, that sounded logical. Tahomaru went on to explain. "And ... well, we would have a love relationship and would do different things together than you would, for example, do with Dororo." - "What kind of things?" That seemed like an even more difficult question because Tahomaru stalled: "Um, things, yeah, that ... So, go to the cinema? Well, no, forget that ... Can you swim?" He had never learned. Until last year he couldn't even take a bath. "No." - "Then forget that too ... What do you like to do?" - "I like listening to audio books." Tahomaru didn't seem to have an answer to that. Then Hyakkimaru had an idea. "... I haven't been to the sea for a long time. Can we go to the sea together?" - "Of course, if you like." - "And you wanted to practice kendo with me" occurred to him. "That's right! I had completely forgotten that although everything still hurts from yesterday!" Tahomaru was laughing again. Hyakkimaru loves it when he laughed. "Well, I have to hang up now, my lessons will continue soon. I'll call you again later. Don't fall asleep again!" Now Hyakkimaru had to laugh too. "I'll try."

Jukai was taking his lunch break and eating a sandwich while scanning one of the new magazines that were usually on display in the waiting room of his practice. Normally he didn't read it at all, but by chance he had seen the following sentence emblazoned on the front page along with other sensational lead stories: >> The influential MP Daigo Kagemitsu: How many skeletons does he have in his cupboard?! << The article itself was basically the same collection of half-baked rumours from unnamed sources that were accused of a different politician every few months and barely not qualified as defamation. In addition, of course, some details from the private life of the persons concerned were also revealed. In the case of MP Daigo, the issue was that his wife has been suffering from severe depression since she miscarried and that his son Tahomaru may therefore be neglected. Heavens, some of these so-called reporters didn't know shame at all. He was just making the decision to finally unsubscribe from these magazines when Hyakkimaru walked in. "Well, already up? Did you sleep well?" Hyakkimaru just nodded in response as he took a pudding from the refrigerator and sat down with him. While he was still opening the pudding, he continued seamlessly the conversation from yesterday: "Papa, I love Tahomaru. I have a relationship with him." Jukai almost choked. That was fast. His son just seemed to be in a hurry to catch up on everything he had missed in his teenage existence so far. Hopefully he wasn't rushing anything. "So when did that happen?" Hyakkimaru ate a spoonful of his pudding before continuing. "Tahomaru called. We want to go to the sea together." - "Hyakkimaru, do you know what a relationship is?" Another spoon. "Tahomaru said that in a love relationship, you spend time together and do things that are fun." Yes, that nailed it. Whereby "things that are fun" was very ambiguous. But they weren't there yet. If he was honest, he didn't even want to know when they were "there". But thinking further arose questions for Jukai. Did he have to do “the talk” with Hyakkimaru? Was that a subject of his middle school? He couldn't remember. And anyway, was he the right person for that? He knew a lot about women and even if his active time was a little longer ago, he didn't think that anything had fundamentally changed. But he had no idea how it worked between men and, if he was being completely honest with himself, didn't want to know more about it. While he was lost in his mind, Hyakkimaru had finished his pudding and threw the cup in the trash. "Papa, I'm going out. See you later." Jukai only started out of his thoughts when he heard the door slam. He checked his watch and found that he'd better hurry now. His next patient was about to have his appointment. But first he threw the magazine he had just read in the waste paper.

Hyakkimaru took his usual tour through the neighbourhood before he decided to try a new direction again today. He ran purely by ear: wherever an interesting sound came from, he went there. It was different than when he went for a walk at night. Louder, he had to concentrate more on finding the individual sources of the tones. There were other noises for that, but he found them mostly uninteresting. It was a shame that Dororo had school today. When she was there, at least she could always describe to him what was causing the sound. But so he tried to find out for himself what made the noises. A tinny, steady knock came from a dripping pot plant. A faint, steady ring from a bicycle riding on cobblestones. An erratic hum from a street lamp. So he went from sound to sound. At some point he couldn't find an interesting tone and he just stood there for a while. Maybe he should look for the second demon again? Then his phone vibrated. Was it so late already that Tahomaru could call him? When he answered, he couldn't hold back the expectation in his voice. "Tahomaru?" And he was right. "Did you miss me so much?" What a question. "Yes." He could hear the other holding back a laugh. "I miss you too. What are you doing?" - "Take a walk." - "Where are you at the moment?" Good question. "I don't know." - "How do you not know?" Tahomaru sounded confused, maybe he should explain it to him. He always forgot that he had met Tahomaru for the first time yesterday because it seemed to him that they had known each other forever. "I don't know. I went by sound." Hopefully he would understand it. "You went by - oh. Okay. Can you find your way home?" Did he understand that or not? "Yes, but I don't want to go home yet. Can I meet you?" Until just now, Hyakkimaru hadn't been aware that he wanted to meet the other one now. "That depends on where you are." Was that a yes? "I'll send you my location." He let his artificial fingers press the necessary sequence of keys on the mobile phone and a calm voice said >> Location was shared with contact TAHOMARU. << He replied, astonished: "You can do that?" - "I have to be able to if I can't find my way home." Hm, he didn't think he had to explain so much to Tahomaru. "Yes, you're right ... Hey, how do you get to Ikedamachi?" The other one asked a lot of questions too. "I walked." Could they meet now or not? "... Just stay where you are, I'll be with you in ten minutes." Ah, they could. Hyakkimaru felt a tingling sensation in his stomach that slowly spread throughout his body. "I am waiting." - "See you soon." And with that the connection was gone.

Tahomaru was rarely in such a hurry to get anywhere, but he wanted to let his parents know first. His mother had locked herself in the prayer room again, so he wrote his father a message. Less than ten seconds later he had strict instructions not to come home so late again. It would surely be a month before his father dropped the subject. But at least he did not forbid it. Before Tahomaru pushed his bike out of the gate, he checked briefly whether someone was loitering in the street who was obviously not a tourist. Because whenever an article about his father appeared in one of those cursed gossip papers, there were enough onlookers who just came to stare at him as if he were an animal in the zoo. He himself never read these "reports" and only heard from the class group when his family was the subject again, but some people apparently had nothing better to do. At first the coast seemed to be clear so he took his bike out of the gate and closed it behind him before he set off. But after only a few minutes he noticed that a car was driving behind him suspiciously slowly. However, he knew these streets by heart and at the next opportunity he turned into a narrow alley that was impassable for cars. The next opportunity for this driver to switch to the other road came much later, so he had all the time in the world to resume his real route. Soon he saw Hyakkimaru waiting for him on a corner, as agreed. Was he wrong or was he looking in his direction? He was about to call him when he heard an engine roar behind him and a car sped past him extremely quickly. This car. His thoughts got stuck because the vehicle was heading straight for Hyakkimaru. He had noticed it too and was able to jump to the side in time. The driver didn't stop, only a moment later he had disappeared around the next corner. "Hyakkimaru!" Tahomaru was with him as fast as he could and grabbed his shoulders. "Are you hurt?!" He had still turned his head in the direction in which the car had disappeared. He turned only slowly to Tahomaru. "...No." He looked like he was concentrating on something. "What the … SUCH A MANIAC!" The shock subsided and anger simmered in Tahomaru. It was one thing if hobby stalkers would hang around his house or talk to him funny at times after a bloody article like that. Heavens, someone even found out his phone number and sent him some very repulsive messages! He knew that and after two weeks at the latest it was always over because then the next poor person was on their agenda. But that someone attacked an outsider and tried to run him over! That was definitely an attempted murder! He was so beside himself, he hardly noticed the hand that was around his arm. "Tahomaru. Calm down." He looked at Hyakkimaru like he was crazy. How should he calm down? Did the other even understand what had just happened? If he hadn't ... evaded ... And then something came together in his head, like pieces of a puzzle. Hyakkimaru had evaded in time without any problems. Even with quick reflexes it was only possible because he had noticed this "attack" before him. However he could. Tahomaru remembered the kendo training. How Hyakkimaru had wielded the Shinai. Almost as if it were a matter of life and death. According to the children, that was normal for him. The other did not train kendo, the "way of the sword" for character building or pastime or whatever reasons one could cite, he trained the fight. "Hyakkimaru, who are you actually?" He looked at him as if he was slow on the uptake. "You just said who I am?" - "I do not mean that!" Tahomaru took a deep breath, focused. "You have no eyes, but you can somehow see. You have no arms, but you wield a Shinai as if you were fighting to the death. None of this is normal, none of it should be possible at all. Say, are you even human?" And Hyakkimaru seemed to understand. He didn't answer, but slowly took Tahomarus hands in his to pull him closer which he did not oppose. When he was only a few inches in front of him, Hyakkimaru brought a hand to his neck and pressed Tahomarus fingers on a specific spot. And he felt his pulse, his heartbeat. The gesture expressed more now than words ever could. He was human. Tahomarus own heart was still beating too fast, but no longer out of anger, stress, or fear. Hyakkimaru pressed his forehead against his now, moving it slightly back and forth. He felt the other's breath on his face, on his cheeks, on his lips. "Not now." And that strangely intimate moment was over, Tahomaru realized again that they were still in public. Even if the street was still deserted except for them.

They sat down on a park bench with two bottles of water from a Konbini. Across from them, a horde of elementary school students were screaming and playing football. At first none of them spoke for a long time, only took a sip from his bottle every now and then. Then Hyakkimaru broke the silence. "Papa said he found me as a baby. I was abandoned. He took care of me, gave me my name, gave me all the prostheses I have. He saved me." Hyakkimaru spoke slowly, as if choosing each word with great care. Tahomaru didn't say anything, he just wanted to listen. "At some point, Papa noticed that I can do more than should be possible. And he nurtured me. He helped me to understand the world as I can perceive it ... The colours I told you about. There is one more. I can see red. " Red? People and animals were light and dark grey, plants green, water blue, things grey. What else was there that could be red? "Papa says they're demons. Most people don't notice them. But I can see them, always." This time he was silent a little longer, as if weighing whether to go on. Tahomaru waited. "Most of them are small, I can't touch them. They can't do anything, so I ignore them. But last year I saw a demon in human form. He killed Mio and wanted to kill me too. But I was faster. It was more of an accident. " A smile, sad and grim at the same time, lay on his face. "A few months later I found Dororo. She was also attacked by such a human demon. If I hadn't killed him, Dororo would be dead. Since then she has lived with us and I'm looking for demons ... That in the car earlier ... "Tahomaru startled. That could not be true? "That was the first time a demon came to attack me. I'm sorry." Then he was silent. Was he waiting for an answer? Tahomaru tried to process what he had heard. The long-haired boy he fell in love with at the sight of his ability actually didn't fight on tatami mats in a dojo or gym like Tahomaru did. Hyakkimaru stood on a battlefield, fighting opponents that only he could see. Could he even hope to understand the other? And then demons. For him, these were always just gruesome characters from horror stories and films, sometimes metaphors for the negative aspects of every human. But he never thought that there could actually be any. In human form too. What actually made them different from humans? He only had the word from Hyakkimaru that they were "red" and had murdered. Not more. Weren't it then, strictly speaking, just "bad" people? Did that make Hyakkimaru a murderer? But did he have the right to judge that? He had way too many questions, each one dragging a tail of more questions behind it. "Who was Mio?" was after all the only question that came to his mind. Hyakkimaru didn't seem to have expected that, he was silent for a while before answering. "Mio helped Papa to look after me last year. I ... couldn't do a lot of things as well as I am now. She always sang for me ..." Tahomaru had an idea of what was coming next, because Hyakkimaru sounded so terribly sad. "I loved her." Yes, he expected that. He didn't know what to say, it all seemed unreal. His throat felt dry and he was about to take another sip of water when he realized his bottle was empty. Hyakkimaru held out his own without a word. Following an impulse, Tahomaru took his hand and pulled him off the bench with him. This time it was Hyakkimaru who followed without resistance. He led him away from the park where the children were playing, across the street and into a narrow gap between two buildings. The low sun could no longer illuminate this area, they were in the shade.

In retrospect, neither of them could have said who leaned against whom first, put their arms around each other, who was holding on to whom. Hyakkimaru rubbed his forehead against Tahomarus again. There it was again, that tingling of someone else's breath on your own skin. Who had dared to venture further forward first, tilting his head to which side? Was that important? After all, neither of them really had any idea what exactly he was doing, they just went by feel, a careful touch, streak, taste. There were two voices, from which pleased, breathy sighs could be heard again and again when there was a brief space to breathe between their mouths. Whose tongue was that? And this? Who had just carefully bitten who on the lip? Where did one start and where did the other end? But at some point there was no longer enough air, the heartbeat was too fast, the breath was too hard. And it had gotten warmer, although the sun was already setting. So they finally stood there, holding on to each other, their heads on each other's shoulders, hoping to be able to breathe again. And reality returned to her consciousness, time was running again. When did it stop? "We should go home, it's getting late." Tahomaru was still a little out of breath when, not without regret, uttered this sentence. "Hmm," was the only answer from Hyakkimaru. His displeasure could be heard when he asked "Are we heading home together?" - "Yes, I'll go with you, I'll be home faster on my bike than yesterday." Slowly they separated from each other, each now again aware of the limits of his self. Each other's warmth on their skin evaporated as they went back out into the street to get Tahomarus bike out of the park. The kids were gone already. At dusk they set out and when they arrived it was already dark. They stood again in front of the side entrance through which they had left the house the day before and Tahomaru looked undecided. He didn't want to go yet, although he should. Hyakkimaru made the decision for him by leaning against him again and whispering "Good night, Tahomaru" in his ear. And he could feel the world around him fading into the background again when he found the other's lips with his once more. This time his hands did not close around Hyakkimaru, they felt their way over his sides, then along his chest over the rapidly beating heart and came to rest on his cheeks. Hyakkimaru, however, had his arms tightly around Tahomarus waist and his artificial hands on his lower back. When their tongues touched again, they both shivered. Why was the air running out again? And shouldn't it cool down slowly? Instead, both of them got warmer, almost hot. Tahomaru finally let go of Hyakkimaru, breathing heavily, this time placing his forehead against the other's. "Sleep well, Hyakkimaru." He released himself from the arms that had been holding him and went back to his bike. There he turned around again and raised his hand in a faint wave. The other also raised his hand in parting. Then Tahomaru was gone and Hyakkimaru stood alone in front of the door in the dark.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello dear readership,  
> I hope you enjoyed the first kiss :) The relationship is picking up speed, but Papa Jukai has to have a certain father-son conversation with the clueless Hyakkimaru first. Look forward to the next chapter <3 Stay healthy  
> Sincerely yours  
> Otakuplant 
> 
> P.S.: Here was it again, the going-togehter-pun. In german it was like this  
> “Also... gehen wir jetzt miteinander?” - “Gehen? Jetzt? Wohin?”  
> "So... Are we going together now?" - "Going? Now? Where?"  
> This was by the way a typical conversation when I was a kid myself and the first love confessions were made and the other part didn`t get it. :D  
> I hope the “thing”-thing worked...  
> Translations are hard.


	7. Consonance

"You really kissed ?! So really, for real really ?! With tongues and everything? And how was it, was it disgusting? I imagine it to be so yucky, I mean, you have someone else's spit in your mouth! How can you big people think that's something great?! Ugh!” Hyakkimaru did not understand Dororo. What she said, although it expressed disgust, did not in the least match what he could see in her soul. Joy and excitement. "Dororo, now please stop screaming like that, you can even be heard outside on the street," Papa tried to calm her down, but Hyakkimaru could sense a certain excitement in him too, but with more ... nervousness? Worry? He wasn't sure. If he had known how the two would react, he would rather not have said anything at all. Although that would have been difficult because, according to Dororo, he looked "like a tomato", whatever that meant. In any case, they could tell that something happened. And then Dororo had questioned him up to this point, while Papa was getting more and more restless. Was it uncomfortable for him? He himself didn't even know that was a kiss until the girl almost yelled it at him. Really, he was getting tired of standing there clueless. But how should he find answers to questions he didn't even know? When he was standing outside the door with Tahomaru, there had been no questions. Just hints, acting after the feeling that it was right and an unspoken promise about something he didn't know what it was. Hyakkimaru was ... frustrated. Yes, the word fit. He actually had a lot of questions now, but he didn't want to ask them either Dororo or Papa. That didn't feel right. If only because the two were now seriously debating whether Dororo was too loud or not. Could he ask Tahomaru? At that moment Dororo ran with a shouted "I AM NOT TOO LOUD!" past him and, according to the noises, up the stairs to her room. That was unusual. Usually, Papa always somehow managed to calm Dororo down. Today was different. Maybe because Papa was so restless himself? But why? "Papa, what's wrong?" He wanted to know that now. "Oh, actually nothing." Hyakkimaru couldn't remember Papa ever lying to him before, but it just wasn't true that it was “nothing”. "... You're lying. Dororo is always loud and you don't mind." Papa thought about it, then sighed. "Yes, you're right. It's just ... When she was yelling about kissing, I was uncomfortable. Especially since it was about you. That ... touched a limit in me and I wanted her stop. But I guess I didn't explain myself... I'll talk to her later. " That explained less than Hyakkimaru had hoped. "Papa, what limit? Why is it about me?" Papa became more restless again. He sighed again, but this time he sounded frustrated too. "I ... don't know if I can explain it to you, but I'm trying ... It has something to do with ... the feeling of shame that you are missing pretty much completely." He knew the word, but it didn't explain the context. "Kissing Tahomaru has something to do with the fact that I always have to wear clothes?" His confusion grew. "So ... yes, in a certain way. There are ... things that only certain people are allowed to see or hear. The other way round, most people don't want to see or hear these things from others. For example, you have to dress yourself in the morning because other people would be uncomfortable seeing you without your clothes on, because most people are embarrassed themselves when others see them naked, so it is with ... the kissing and ... everything else that comes next. This is now something only between you and Tahomaru, something very personal. It is none of others peoples business and most of them do not even want to know. " Yes, that made things a little clearer. But... "Papa, what do you mean by >> everything that comes next <<?"

"Taho-tan, I would suggest this: If you itch, scratch yourself." Tahomaru hated this nickname because Mutsu only used it when she thought he was acting somehow stupid. He had gone to her in the outbuilding, which she and Hyogo had lived in for years, and was now rolling restlessly on her office chair. This morning they hadn't had a chance to talk quietly about his ... relationship, which was already on a completely new level. Although objectively not much had changed, Tahomarus emotional world was once again completely upside down. He had a little problem. And by that he didn't mean the fact that Hyakkimaru obviously had psychic abilities and was being persecuted by demons, no. He wouldn't tell anyone about it. The problem he wanted to talk to his cousin about was elsewhere. He had met Hyakkimaru yesterday, was in a relationship with him since today and so far had embraced him once and kissed him twice. And that was pretty heated. Most people would say it was going too fast, he was only fifteen, almost still a child. He, or rather his hormones, disagreed after the second kiss at the latest. If they had their way, he would jump into bed with Hyakkimaru right away. Yes, that was basically the problem. After just two days of acquaintance, he wanted to have sex with a boy to whom he first had to explain what a relationship was. To be fair, aside from a couple of kisses in middle school he didn't have more experience than Hyakkimaru, but at least he had an idea of what they were doing. He wouldn't have been a bit surprised if the other had asked after the first kiss what that was. And yet there was this sudden desire, burning and demanding, and it was driving him insane. It had taken a great effort tonight to be satisfied with what little skin he could get without taking off some of Hyakkimarus clothes. He had never felt this way about anyone before. What was wrong with him? Was he perverted? He knew what his cousin was pointing to, but that couldn't really be the answer. Or could it? His gaze must have spoken volumes, because Mutsu gave him an almost pitying look when she said, "I'm serious. Think about it, when was the last time you masturbated? And no, you don't have to answer. But I bet it is definitely too long ago given that you are a healthy young man." She always had a way of expressing things politely, factually and bluntly at the same time. That had only gotten worse with her degree course in psychology. And then there was this study group on sex therapy treatments ... No, he really didn't want to think about that. Then he always had the feeling that she was using him as a guinea pig. Even if the advantage of being able to talk to her openly about his sexuality was obvious. "Why exactly do you think that should do anything? I fear that it will get worse then. I will certainly imagine a lot and then I really want to undress him and-" Mutsus palm right in front of his face let him pause. Had he just said aloud that he wanted to undress Hyakkimaru? "Please don't say anything further. I fear that you will otherwise get a big problem. But to stick with your concern, which is understandable, given that you are practically completely inexperienced, but unfounded: If you do the right thing you can keep your expectations within a realistic framework and also draw practical benefits from them." Tahomaru, whose cheeks had already warmed up again, although he feared that he would regret it, asked, "What practical use?" Mutsus mouth lifted slightly. "Preparing for reality. You can't really expect the first sex to work satisfactorily without sufficient practice from at least one person involved?" Tahomaru was speechless. And even if he felt that the burning heat on his face had meanwhile at least spread over to his ears, he had to admit that his cousin was right. In his almost childish naivete, despite hormone-controlled desires, he hadn't given much thought to the details. He just knew he wanted to. The >> How << was full of question marks. Sure, theoretically he knew how, because that was what the internet was made for, but practice was something completely different. "Tahomaru, have you taken a closer look at the contents of the box in the meantime?" The box, that was Mutsus present for his last birthday, mind you before he came out to her. Back then he had only taken a quick look and then hid it in shock in the back of the closet in the hope that no one would ever find it. As far as he could tell at the time, it contained sex toys... Mutsus smile widened a little and under normal circumstances he would have found the look in her eyes frightening. "I would suggest you read through the instructions for use and watch a couple of tutorials. And then it's like everything else: practice, practice, practice." At that moment Hyogo came in. "Oh, here you are." He glanced at Tahomarus' likely scarlet face, then Mutsus indefinable smile. "Is it about Tahos >> non-existent << sexual activitys again?" PLEASE WHAT? "Oh, yes and no. I was just suggesting to our little Romeo that now would be a good time to open the box. Because I think it would be good for him and his relationship." How did they talk about him? With Mutsu and Hyogo, he was sometimes unsure whether they were a blessing or a curse to him. Probably both equally. Because the thoughts Mutsu had brought him moved deeper from his head. About his heart, which was beating faster and faster, even if he didn't move. Past his lungs, which suddenly no longer provided enough oxygen, even though he was breathing heavily. Through his stomach, in which something did somersaults in rows. And finally they landed between his legs, where they twisted and together with his pulse made for an increasingly urgent pounding. He had to go. Now. Without a word he got up strangely stiff and disappeared as fast as he could past Hyogo through the door. "Have fun, Taho-Tan!" Tahomaru hoped by all gods that he would not meet anyone on the way to his room.

Hyakkimaru couldn't sleep and he didn't know if that had happened to him before. There were too many thoughts in his head that he couldn't sort of somehow. The "conversation" with Papa was not very helpful, mainly because the older one spoke very hesitantly and imprecisely and did not give many answers because "he was uncomfortable". Hyakkimaru didn't want Papa to be uncomfortable, but he couldn't do as much with what little he'd gotten out of him as he had initially hoped. He didn't really understand Papa's problem. What was so bad about the word "penis", for example? Papa was a doctor, so he had to know all parts of the body, didn't he? Especially because he was a man himself and therefore had one. Or was it the context? One of the lessons in the senior year of middle school was about penises and vaginas. And then suddenly babies were the topic. He wasn't really paying attention back then. Although that probably wouldn't have helped him either, because neither he nor Tahomaru had a vagina. At least as far as he knew. Or was it the fact that he should talk to him about it? That made Hyakkimaru a little thoughtful. He hadn't wanted to ask Papa these questions at first, but then it had happened that way. Wasn't that a topic to discuss with your papa? Yes, probably that. So he had to ask Tahomaru after all. Could he call him now? What time was it? He just had no sense of time. Hyakkimaru decided to chance it and put his hearing aids back on before he selected "Tahomaru" on his phone and pressed the call button. It rang for a while, then Tahomaru actually picked it up. "... Hyakkimaru." He heard the other breathing hard and his voice sounded strangely low. "Hello Tahomaru. You sound strange. Are you okay?" Then the other laughed. "Yeah, I'm fine, I just ... did something until now." He sounded so pleased. "Tahomaru, I want to ask you a few things. May I?" - "... Depends on the questions." The other was breathing almost normally again, then everything was probably really fine. "I want to know what else we can do besides kissing." Tahomaru didn't answer, instead his breath caught and then quickened again. A strange warmth began to spread throughout his body from his stomach. "Tahomaru?" His own voice was lower than he'd intended. "... Hyakkimaru ... We can do whatever you want ... We can ... We can ... touch each other." It was like tonight when they kissed. His breathing was faster, his heart pounding wildly in his chest. Ah, no, there was something else. More. A feeling twisted deep in his lower abdomen. He was suddenly hot, even though he wasn't wearing clothes and his blanket was somewhere on the end of the bed. "Tahomaru, we touched each other already?" Why was his own voice so funny? Tahomarus words didn't make much sense, but there was something about them that made him restless. And the noises. He heard the faint streak of fabric on skin when the other moved, his breath louder than before. And Tahomarus voice, which now again and again made those heavy sighs. He wanted to hear more of these sounds. "Yes, but ... Hm ... on other places. With more skin. Without ... clothes ... I- I want to touch you everywhere. I want- to kiss you everywhere. I want ... your- Ahh!" Each of these noises made Hyakkimaru shift more restlessly on his bed, his body shaking. He felt every touch, no matter how faint, on his bare skin. His hair tickled his face and shoulders. The cloth holder on his right arm squeezed. His penis had erected and he had an urgent need to touch it. That was new to him. His penis sometimes stood up in the morning, but he couldn't remember ever having such a feeling. That was why it always passed after a short time. Did Tahomarus voice do this? What did he do that he made such beautiful sounds? Ah, could that be this "masturbating" Papa meekly mentioned? Touching your own genitals because it felt good? "Taho ... maru ... you sound so beautiful. Do you masturbate?" The other said nothing at first, only his intermittent breathing could be heard. Then suddenly: "Yes, I ... Hmm." - "Hah ..." Ah, had he just made such a noise himself? His own penis was throbbing almost painfully. He put the phone down next to him and cupped his penis as carefully as he could with his artificial right hand, because he knew that one had to be careful with his sex. Gently. A sigh escaped him. Yes, that was good. He felt how hard he was and the coolness of his artificial skin sent a violent twitch through his body. Since when was his silicone skin so cold? He turned his head to his left shoulder, pressed his cheek against it. No, the skin on his hand wasn't cold, his real skin was hot! "Hah ..." - "Hyakkimaru ... You- Hmm! You moan too ...! Are you- touching yourself?" Oh, was that called a moan? "Yes ... I have ... my penis in my hand ... What can I ... do now?" - "You ... you have to carefully move your ... Uhh ... your hand up and- Ahh! Up and down! And ... press a little!" Tahomaru tried unsuccessfully to suppress these beautiful noises, which he thought was a shame. "Tahomaru ... please, I- Hnn, I want to hear you." As soon as he had said that, the other seemed to follow suit, and it got a little louder. He sounded ... so happy. Hyakkimaru wanted that too, so he started waving his hand like the other had told him to. It was almost too much! Tickling, stroking, tingling, pressure, none of the words he knew matched this feeling and yet it was as if he felt everything at the same time! From his penis the sensations shot down his nerve tracts like light electric shocks! But they weren't painful, they were good. His whole body trembled with every movement of his hand, and the sole of his right foot pressed against the mattress as his hips jerked up and his penis clumsily thrust into his hand. That almost hurt and Hyakkimaru bit his lip. His mouth, he wanted to do something with it. Following this new impulse, he began to run his tongue over his left shoulder, lifting it up to press his lips against it. Yes, so he could imagine himself kissing Tahomaru! The heat inside him was almost unbearable, he had the feeling that his skin was glowing and yet he wanted more. It was like hunger, it couldn't be suppressed. "Ahh! Tahomaru!" He wanted Tahomaru! He wanted to feel him with everything he had. Each of his nerve endings screamed for the other to touch. "Hya-AH-Hyakkimaru!" He called him, Tahomaru called his name. And then something happened to him, inside of him. From his sex, a different heat shot through his whole body than before and his insides contracted. He couldn't think any-more and it was as if he was falling, the sound of his racing heartbeat in his ears. His hips twitched wildly, something wet dripped onto his stomach and thighs, his whole body burned! Nothing around him existed any-more, suddenly there was only silence in his head, in which Tahomarus wonderful call for him echoed. Gradually it fell silent and slowly the world came back into his perception. He had no words in him that could describe what this was. His whole body felt heavy, but in a nice way. Relaxed. Happy. Satisfied. Yes, those were appropriate words. He heard Tahomaru sounding as exhausted as he felt. "I love you, Hyakkimaru. I love you ...". He felt water around his eyes, he cried. Could you cry out of happiness? "I love you too, Tahomaru." He sighed, his breathing still too fast, but his heartbeat slowly calming down. Slowly his mind began to work again. He wanted a word for what they had just done, for what he had felt. When he asked Tahomaru, he began to laugh again, albeit very softly. He must be really exhausted. "Well, I'd say we just had phone sex and ... both orgasms?" Hmm, Papa had said that people rubbed their genitals together during sex. Or was it in each other? He had spoken rather indistinctly there too. How could he have sex with Tahomaru if they couldn't touch? Or was that also true when they touched with words? Yes, that was it. They had touched each other with words. Another question remained: "What is an orgasm?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello you dear readership.  
> I hope you have had fun <3 Anyway, I had a lot of fun writing this chapter. And for some reason I remembered that I first came into contact with fanfiction around the age of 15 when a friend read me smutty Beyblade fanfictions over the phone because I haven't had internet back then. Well, those were other times.  
> Lots of love and stay healthy and relaxed <3  
> Sincerely yours  
> Otakuplant


	8. Injury

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning: attempted murder, traffic accident

Hyakkimaru had lost it again. The red that had been chasing him yesterday appeared and disappeared again. At first he thought he was just imagining it, but it really was doing it. This red could hide in a person. And it did it so skilfully that Hyakkimaru never saw which of the many people around him it was. It was a game of cat and mouse. Finding the needle in a haystack. Fucking shit! He couldn't just attack people hoping he'd get the right one! If at least he could see which "soul" it was, but he never got close enough before the red hid again. He had already escaped two attacks today, but it never attacked him directly. When he left the house today, there was an attack like yesterday. Hyakkimaru hadn't even tried to track the car. He was fast, but not that fast. So he had only gone in the direction the car had disappeared. Then at some point something very large and heavy fell from a roof. If he hadn't noticed in time, he would have been killed by it. According to other people who had asked whether he was okay after this "accident", a steel beam did not just fall down somewhere. Then nothing happened for a while, but Hyakkimaru was sure it wouldn't give up that easily. And yes, it was getting closer now, but never close enough. Did it mean to scare him? Prove to him that he couldn't reach it while it was getting closer and closer even unnoticed? Or did it want to make him angry, confused, so that he lost his bearings? It had to have a plan, and if he couldn't figure out what it was, he might lose this fight. Hyakkimaru concentrated. With so many people, a car attack was most likely out of question. So far it used its surroundings. What was around him? He focused entirely on the sounds that his hearing prostheses delivered to him. Lots of people, countless steps, street noise, the beeping of a pedestrian light. And then he had an inkling. It had always tried to make it look like an accident. Why should it only use its own car for this? According to Papa, many people died in traffic accidents, often pedestrians. It wanted to irritate him so much that he did not pay attention to the cars. The rest of it would be an unfortunate accident. Clever. But now that he knew the plan, he could use it for himself. He played the game of hide and seek for a while, and indeed Hyakkimaru noticed that the red was leading him closer and closer to the road. So he was right. It was almost within reach, so it couldn't be long. He always paid close attention to how traffic was going, counted the seconds between the traffic lights, and estimated the distances and size of the vehicles. Now the cars were standing, but the traffic light was about to switch. And he knew it was time now, the red was behind him and wanted to push him onto the street as soon as the cars started. He could feel it, the lust for murder, the greed for blood that radiated from the red. Now it was all a matter of timing. Now, the car engines roared, he turned and in fact the red had already reached out to push him. He quickly grabbed the Red's hands, pushed himself off, and pulled it with him as he fell backwards onto the street. 

By the gods, he was tired! Tahomaru had to concentrate incredibly to follow the lesson. He would have loved to just lay his head on the table and sleep for the rest of the school day. But he had a reputation to maintain, an image in public. MP Daigo Kagemitsus son did not fall asleep in class. And especially not when everyone was talking about him behind his back about the article in the damn gossip magazine. One would have thought that here, at an expensive private institution, where all the offspring of the local celebrities went to school together, might was a certain immunity to such gossip. Because everyone was a target at some point. Words were put into everyone's mouth by cheap trash editors, family matters spread and secrets dragged to light. But far from it. Everyone was left to their own devices and was subtly avoided until the next scandal hit the front page. Usually, Tahomaru played this stupid game more or less along. He wasn't used to anything else, that was his everyday life. But today it annoyed him immensely. And not so much because he was avoided again. Not even because he was dog-tired because of his late "phone call" with Hyakkimaru, including a basic sex education course for him. In fact, he could now concentrate better on other things. He'd already quietly thanked Mutsu this morning when she'd taken him and Hyogo to school. She just smiled knowingly and nodded. No, it annoyed him because he had met Hyakkimaru. Compared to his life, his own seemed so trivial. Born into a family of high standing, blessed with intelligence and talent, he enjoyed an excellent education and not a single stone lied on his way to a bright future. Just like any other here. Exchangeable. Irrelevant. He now understood why the other was not going to high school even though he was a year older than him. What should he for? His calling seemed to be to kill demons. Because that was something only he could do. Even if Tahomaru wasn't so sure about the demons, it wasn't his place to talk Hyakkimaru into it. But apart from that, there was actually no motivation for the older to go on to school. Because Tahomaru knew the talk that was often behind the socially required politeness. Hyakkimaru had completed his compulsory schooling in an institution for severely disabled people and received a simple basic education within the scope of his possibilities. What could someone like that work? Who hired such a "cripple" anyway? Wasn't it just a financial problem for the public? Wasn't such a life worthless? Wasn't it karma, a punishment for one's sins in a previous life? Wouldn't it be better for someone like that to just... Tahomaru thought no further. He had broken the pencil in his hand and the splinters bored into his fingers and palm. Shit, it even started to bleed. He quickly put his school supplies together and left his place to go to the sickroom. The teacher didn't even turn from the whiteboard when he left the classroom. 

Jukai thought his heart would stop when he was told on the phone that Hyakkimaru had been involved in a traffic accident and had been taken to a hospital. And even if the operator assured him that he was probably not seriously injured, he almost died of worry and self-reproach. Was he irresponsible for always letting Hyakkimaru outside alone? While he was waiting for Dororo to come back from school, he called the rest of the day's patients to reschedule their appointments and when he and Dororo reached the clinic about an hour later, they could go straight to Hyakkimarus room. Dororo literally ran in the door and threw himself with a loud "Anikiiii!" on Hyakkimarus neck. He put his head on hers and tousled her hair with his chin when Jukai also stepped to the bed and saw that Hyakkimaru was not wearing his prosthetic arms. "Hello Papa." He took his son together with Dororo in his arms and an enormous stone fell from his heart. "Boy, what are you doing? Don't scare me like that ..." Dororo sniffs into the hospital shirt that Hyakkimaru was wearing: "Stupid Aniki." After a few minutes in which no one had said anything, Jukai let go of the two of them and examined Hyakkimaru more closely. Except for a few scratches on his right cheek, he couldn't find any injuries, but he couldn't see anything of his body either. "Are you hurt somewhere?" - "My knee hurts. The doctor says that I was lucky. Real arms would be off now. But like this ..." And with that he moved his arm stumps so that the empty sleeves wobbled back and forth. The girl, who had finally stopped sobbing, pulled her nose up laughing. "Aniki, you look like a baby duck!" Hyakkimaru laughed with her, while Jukai was once more grateful for the outrageously lucky that his son was. And as he continued to look at him, it occurred to him that something was wrong, but he couldn't exactly say what. While he was still thinking about it, the door opened and a young doctor entered. And Jukais blood froze in his veins. Even though so many years had passed, he recognized him. And according to the man's look, he knew exactly who he was. "Kaname ..." The young doctor's eyes narrowed slightly. "Hello, Itou-sensei. I didn't expect you to remember me." There was a short, uncomfortable silence. Even Dororo and Hyakkimaru had noticed the tension in the room and dared not speak. Then the man, Kaname, exhaled heavily. "Your ... son is so far uninjured, only a slight bruise on his right knee and scratches on various parts of the body, possibly from falling on the street. In addition, an older wound on the right calf seems to have partially reopened." He held out an envelope to Jukai, who took it without a word. "These are the discharge forms and the anamnesis protocol. You can pick up the prosthetic arms at the reception, even if I doubt that they can still be used. You can take him with you now. I wish you a speedy recovery." And with that he turned around and went to the door, but before he had stepped all the way through, Jukai started again: "Kaname, I-" As soon as Jukai had started to speak, the man turned. And then it all happened at once. Kaname had thrown Jukai on the ground and was holding a scalpel to his neck, his face contorted with anger. Hyakkimaru wanted to rush to Jukai as a reflex, but his bruised knee and his missing arms thwarted him, so that he fell to the ground. Dororo had snatched a water bottle from the table and was holding it ready for a well-aimed throw. And Kaname shouted: "SHUT UP! Do you really think anything you do or say can change anything?!" The scalpel in his hand trembled and slowly pressed itself into Jukais neck, so that the first red drops ran from the wound into his shirt collar. And Jukai did nothing about it, just looked at the other person with a blank look. Then Kaname let go of him and pressed out between gritted teeth: "Get out of here." And that said everything for him, he turned and went back to the hospital corridor without another word. Dororo let the bottle sink, Hyakkimaru tried to get up somehow, which was quite difficult without arms. "Papa?" And Jukai just sat motionless on the floor while the blood ran down his neck. 

Tahomaru was annoyed, but at least not tired any-more. Today just wasn't his day. When he got to the sickroom there was no one, so he pulled the slivers out of his hand as best he could and put some plasters on himself. When still no one came into the room, he gave in to the temptation and laid down on one of the beds. Just a few minutes, he thought, before his eyes closed. When he opened it again and cast a sleepy look at his phone, the few minutes had turned into hours. Class was long over. In addition, he had a message from Hyogo, why he had not turned up for the kendo training and that Mutsu would not pick him up if he was not in front of the building at the usual time because she had other appointments. That would be ... in five minutes. If he didn't want to take the bus he should hurry. He quickly wrote to Mutsu that he would be there any moment as he noticed something. There were no more plasters on his hand, but a thin bandage had been put on. Someone had given his hand another thorough medical treatment without waking him. Perhaps too thoroughly, he would never have thought of using a bandage on those tiny wounds. That was ... confusing? "Ah, you are finally awake? Good, then I don't have to wake you. Did you sleep well?" Of course, the school doctor. Tahomaru straightened up and looked at the long haired woman sitting across from him at her desk. Many of his classmates adored her, male and female. Tahomaru just thought she was nice. Well, that could just be because he was gay, although he would never deny that "Yako-chama", as she was called by her fans, was definitely pretty. "Yes, I did. Thank you for taking care of my hand, Yakonari-sensei." She smiled at him. "Yes, yes, that's what I'm here for. I hope you don't mind that I let you sleep? But you looked so cute, I just couldn't wake you up." ... Was it appropriate for a school employee to refer to a student as cute? Tahomaru was frankly uncomfortable, so he got up quickly and took his bag. "No, I have to thank you, I was very exhausted. Please excuse me, but I have to go." He went to the door and bowed there. "I wish you a nice evening." Although he didn't meet anyone in the corridors, he had the feeling that someone was watching him and when he had left the school building and was walking towards Mutsus car, he turned around again. Yakonari-sensei was standing behind the glass door through which he had just stepped and waved to him. She smiled, but there was something strange about it and even though it was a very warm afternoon Tahomaru shivered. He was seldom so happy when the car door slammed behind him. The skin under the bandage on his hand itched. 

Dororo didn't dare say a word. No one had spoken a word since the hospital. She didn't understand. What she had seen in the young doctor's eyes had been real hatred. Why did he hate Uncle Jukai so much that he wanted to kill him? What was he talking about? And then Uncle Jukais look. Empty, dead, like a corpse. Like moms. She embraced herself in her arms as if trying to hold onto herself so as not to fall apart. She hadn't thought about it in so long, hadn't remembered. But now that she had barely entered the house and hidden in the room that she had received from Jukai, everything came back at once. How her father never came home again. How her mother had collapsed and never got up again. How she was sometimes hungry for days. How she hadn't endured in any orphanage. How these men had pushed her to the ground ... NO! NO NO NO NO NO NO! ANIKI! ANIKI SAVED HER! ANIKI KILLED THE MEN! ANIKI! "Dororo!" A large, warm body leaned against her back, arm stumps pressing against her sides. An armless hug. Aniki! Aniki was with her! Her screaming stopped and she started crying. "Aniki ..." She turns around and wrapped her arms around him as tightly as she could. Hold on to him. Came back to herself. Got ground underfoot. Her sobs slowly subsided. She actually thought she was over it. It was years since her parents died and life went on. These men never hurt anyone again. She now had a place she almost felt like home, someone she wanted to call family. But Uncle Jukais eyes ... "Aniki, has Uncle Jukai taken his pills now?" He nodded. "Yes, he did. He had forgotten them at noon today." Yes, she understood. She too had been utterly disaffected by the news that Hyakkimaru was in the hospital. Then everything would be back to normal by tomorrow at the latest, right? Uncle Jukai would laugh again. "Can I stay with you?" Hyakkimaru nodded again before he said: "Please help me with my arms. There are spare arms in the study." That's right, he still looked like a baby duck! Dororo had to laugh.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello dear readership,  
> I hope you are fine. Unofficial subtitle of this chapter: Tahomarus first-world-problems. ;) At first I would not have thought that Kaname would also get a role in this fan fiction, but in fact he is important for Jukai's story. Incidentally, I would like to say that I find the 2019 Jukai sometimes incredibly, INCREDIBLY exhausting, which is why I took the liberty of giving him the antidepressants that the man so urgently needs. Although, he actually needs trauma or psychotherapy, but he's not the type for that ... And yes, Dororo has panic attacks, and Hyakkimaru is basically highly intelligent. I mean, have you ever looked at his "problem-solving strategies"? This is Canon I tell you. Oh yes, I borrowed the appearance of an existing character from another "fandom" for Yakonari-Sensei. Whoever finds out can make a wish :)  
> Thanks for reading, stay healthy <3  
> Sincerely yours  
> Otakuplant


	9. Interval

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning: drug addiction, mental health issues, PTSD, panic attacs

"You were WHAT please ?!" Tahomarus fingers stopped moving across the phone screen as he understood the meaning of what he had just heard. "Don't yell like that. I hear you very well." Was Hyakkimaru serious? "Sorry, but you got hit by a truck so I have the right to be loud! Are you okay?" Tahomaru was stunned. Yet again. Actually, after the experience of the previous day, he had to expect it. Why should the demon-slash-offender give up after a failed attempt? "I was not hit. I was rolled over. But yeah, I'm fine. But my arms are broken." - "Aniki, that is called being oversubtle" Dororo announced in the background. Tahomaru was initially a little disappointed that the younger one was in the room with Hyakkimaru when he called him. It wasn't that he didn't like her, but certain topics and activities were forbidden in the presence of a child. Damn puberty. Then the other had mentioned, as if by the way, that he was in the hospital today because a damn TRUCK had run over him! And suddenly he fully understood that Dororo wanted to stay with Hyakkimaru. If he was being honest, he would like to be with him now, too, just to make sure he was really fine. However, it was already quite late and he didn't even need to ask if he could still leave the house. "What about the driver?" Hyakkimaru thought for a moment before answering: "I don't know. You can't see anything under a truck." This ... Tahomaru tugged his hair with his left hand. Didn't he understand anything? Did he really have to spell everything out for him? "I mean, if he deliberately ran you over, he'll have been arrested, right?" When Hyakkimaru replied, he sounded seriously astonished. "Why deliberately?" Was Tahomaru too quick to assume that it was yesterday's attacker? Then the other went on: "The driver can't help it if I am pushed?" "Aniki, you didn't say that at all!" Dororo sounded as shocked as he felt. When the other answered, there was again that strange objectivity in his voice that Tahomaru had noticed the day before. "Wasn't important either. The red is gone." The red is gone ... Did he mean that he had ... killed his attacker? Wait a second, hadn't he just read something in the news app? Hyakkimaru continued talking to Dororo, while Tahomaru briefly opened the corresponding tab and yes, there it was:

>> News anchor dies in accident. The popular Saregumo Naoko, long-time editor and spokeswoman for the evening news, died this afternoon in a traffic accident. For an unexplained cause, she collapsed with another passerby on the street, where a truck hit her head-on. The rescue workers could only determine the death of the 32-year-old. The other pedestrian was hospitalized and nothing is known about his health. The driver of the accident vehicle - <<

Tahomaru didn't read any further. There was a dead person, a name, Hyakkimaru had something to do with it. He remembered the day before, that one car had headed straight for the other. It was no longer an abstract idea, not a faceless shadow. Hyakkimaru said he was pushed onto the street. Why was anyone trying to kill him at all? Even though he called Jukai "Papa", was he "just" a crippled foundling, exposed ... to die? Who wanted his death so bad that he put "demons" on him? He was reminded of yesterday, when immediately after the near-accident an endless number of questions shot through his head. But one of them burned Tahomarus mind more than any other: Was Hyakkimaru a murderer?

Dororo was a little relieved. Tahomaru had just ended the conversation because he said he still had to do homework and study because he would have exams from this week. Now she could quietly ask Hyakkimaru how exactly it was with the demon. And most of all, what he got back. She hadn't noticed anything because of the chaos that afternoon. Well, she would have noticed an arm. The left leg maybe? No, that would have been lying around at the scene of the accident. And it would be noticeable if there was a leg lying around that nobody needed. What else was he missing? Eyes? No. Ears? No. Nose? ... "Aniki! Your nose!" Hyakkimaru gave her a crooked grin as if he were making fun of her. "It took you a long time. Papa didn't notice either." She couldn't help but quickly grabbing his face and pinching his nose, which caused Hyakkimaru to make a dull sound of pain. Really, it wasn't silicone any-more, but skin and cartilage. "Great! Then you can taste it right now! Come on, let's try it out! I'm really hungry anyway! Come on!" She was very excited. But the artificial hand that had seized her in her eagerness held her back and when she looked up at Hyakkimarus face, he shook his head. "I don't want to eat. I ... have to get used to it. Smelling. Get yourself something, but I don't want anything." Dororo paused. Yes, she had forgotten that it was always very stressful for Hyakkimaru when he received a new body part. What was it like to suddenly get a completely new sense? She had to admit that she had never thought about it before. "Tell me, how is it? I mean suddenly being able to smell?" He didn't think twice. "I have a headache."

When Jukai woke up to the ringing of his alarm clock the next morning, he felt terrible. As if he'd been run over by a truck instead of Hyakkimaru. Fortunately, he could usually rely on his body memory so that he didn't have to worry about it as he took the pills that were lying next to him on the bedside table. That was the advantage of years of routine, you didn't think about it, you just did it. The disadvantage, however, was that as soon as you deviated too much from the usual structure, you might not find your way back into the processes for the rest of the day. And when you were, like him, dependent on certain drugs, the consequences could be extremely problematic. Although he felt like he was about to throw up, he got up and got ready. As soon as he had something to eat, he would be better. Then he would see that Dororo left for school in time, whether Hyakkimaru needed anything and finally unlock the practice. This all would keep his thoughts in check. Of Kaname ... of Okowa ... of the beast ... No. Just do it, don't think too much. Don't remember. Do one step at a time. As he went down the stairs, he heard two different voices and was really surprised. Dororo often got up early in the morning, she was a little early bird, so far so good. But he couldn't remember when Hyakkimaru had ever got up before him. The boy was always an night owl. Did he have to worry now? When he got to the kitchen door, he was amazed at the chaos that reigned here. Many food shelves were open and completely empty, the contents spread out on the kitchen table like at a market stall. Just as different foods from the refrigerator. But what surprised him most was Hyakkimaru, who was just putting a garlic clove between his fingers to his face, inhaling and then grimacing in disgust. Had he just smelled it?! "Hyakkimaru?" He and Dororo turned their heads in his direction and suddenly they were both hanging on him, arms tightly around him. "Uncle Jukai! Are you feeling better?", The girl's voice came up from somewhere on his stomach. From Hyakkimaru, whose face was buried in his shoulder, he heard: "Papa, you must never forget your pills." Had the two of them been so startled by his lethargy yesterday? He put an arm around each of them. "Yes, I'm feeling better. I'm sorry that I scared you." And so they held each other for a while.

Hyakkimaru liked sweets. Dororo had therefore called him a "sweet tooth" and he wasn't sure whether she was trying to annoy him or not. He found it exciting how different everything tasted that fell under "sweet". It mixed with everything, was strong or weak. A bit like sounds. Before, tastes had only been an echo of what he could perceive now. Smelling, he had noticed, was something completely different. He had been wandering around the house all day looking for new scents and many things that he could now name were somehow uncomfortable and still gave him headaches. Some things also smelled too much! If he were to compare it to sounds, he would say they are too loud, intrusive, exhausting. Papa said the expression was "too intense". In addition, smells were much more mixed than tastes. That made it difficult for him to tell them apart. Only if he held something close to his nose could he make out a smell exactly and with help find a word for it. In spite of everything, that was the main thing: he could fill his perception, his world, with new words; was able to fill in gaps he didn't know were there before. He had also noticed that humans had a smell too. Often this was mixed up with what they were doing. Dororo smelled kind of sweet, but also of grass and earth. Papa, on the other hand, smelled heavier, of coffee, paper and soap. He would love to know what Tahomaru smelled of.

  
  


_ Mutsu, do you have time tonight? Can I come over? _

Yes, she did. Yes, Taho-tan could come over. It had struck her earlier this morning that something was wrong, but she thought that maybe he was actually just tired. She just wondered what had happened that made him even ask. Because normally he would more or less just invade by them whenever it suited him. You could think this was typical for a spoiled only child. The corners of her mouth curled up slightly and she remembered. After her parents passed away, Uncle Kagemitsu decided to take in his youngest sister's children. So she and Hyogo "moved in" into the annexe. And Tahomaru, who was only five at the time, jumped out of joy because he would have someone to play with besides his invisible friend. She had already noticed then how quickly he felt lonely. Well, with these parents, it wasn't a surprise. And no, she didn't blame anyone at all, but the reality was an absent father who linked his attention to expectations and a mentally ill mother who couldn't really turn to her child. Now she had to sigh at the memories. As Tahomaru had always tried to meet all of his parents' demands. How he would hide and cry when his efforts failed, were not enough. And only she and Hyogo were able to find, comfort, and persuade him not to give up his efforts in the hope that they would eventually come to fruition. Well, they were all naive children back then. By now she was aware that it was actually not Tahomarus responsibility to earn his father's attention and to heal his mother from her depression. If that was even possible. But at least he had her and Hyogo. Despite the circumstances, she was grateful to her uncle and aunt and showed herself to be grateful by stepping in and being there for Tahomaru where the two of them couldn't or wouldn't. And she really liked him, he was a little brother to her. So what could throw him off track that he was so meek and asked before he came over to lie down on the couch? That it had to do with Tahomarus friend was absolutely clear. Because in the few days that he knew him now, Tahomarus world had turned upside down and back on its feet and now nothing was the same as before. At least that was how he had described it. So far she knew that he had beaten Tahomaru up in kendo although he was blind, which was pretty impressive. He also had a younger sister and his father was a doctor. He took everything literally and social etiquette was basically a foreign word to him. Like Tahomaru himself, he had no previous sexual experience except, probably, with himself. Oh, but he seemed to be working with him absolutely shamelessly to fill this experience gap quickly. Tahomarus repressed emotional neediness now erupted with all violence. And the reason was this Hyakkimaru. She leaned back in her chair and tried to focus on the lecture again while dropping her phone back into her pocket. She will be very busy again tonight.

Dororo had really imagined it to be easier. But apparently, despite everything, she had grossly underestimated adult urges. She actually wanted to compile an overview of the love hotels in the area. Because that was the only lead they had to another demon at the moment. Sure, they could also wait until one happened to run in front of them again. Or worse, actively chasing Hyakkimaru. But she didn't want her Aniki to go from hunter to hunted, like a prey that had to be constantly on guard with fear. And now she sat here with a list probably longer than herself, wondering if she couldn’t somehow narrow it down. This Maimai-Onba couldn't possibly own all the love hotels in town. Hmm, according to her information, she used more names to avoid appearing as the owner. She could try to track down the owners online and then ... let's see. The best thing to do is to just start, because if you only planned and never did something, you wouldn't get anything done. She just hoped Uncle Jukai wouldn't need his tablet computer today ... Or for the rest of the week.

"Is that a theoretical question?" Mutsu looked at him sharply. Tahomaru met her gaze easily. "Please don't answer with a counter question. I just want your opinion, right?" He never really wanted to take his frustration out on people who couldn't help it, but he was really tense right now. Ever since he woke up that morning and dragged himself to school, that one question rolled around in his head like an iron ball. It was difficult for him to think of anything else at all. His mind spun in circles. Was Hyakkimaru a murderer? But if he was attacked, wasn't it self-defence? But why didn't he turn to the police? Because it were demons? But weren't they human for everyone else? So Hyakkimaru wanted to kill them? And back to the beginning. Mutsus eyes narrowed as she began to reply in a hard voice. "So to summarize your 'theoretical question' again: Someone is repeatedly attacked for some reason with clear intent to kill. However, for unexplained reasons, he does not seek help from the police, but waits and kills the aggressor. Is it self-defence or murder? Well, I would say it is clearly murder, because if he does nothing to stop the attacks on his life in a non-casualty way, he is basically planning to kill the attacking person. And told in confidence, if someone has reasons not to go to the police, that makes them highly suspicious in my eyes. I wouldn't trust someone like that." If it had been about anyone else, Tahomaru would probably have agreed without hesitation. But it wasn't about anyone. It was about Hyakkimaru, who was there when his first love was killed and who had prevented Dororo from also dying. For some reason he didn't doubt the other's story, just the demon thing gave him a headache. And that was the dilemma. He couldn't talk about the demons, he didn't really understand it himself. Couldn't Hyakkimaru somehow explain this to him in such a way that he understood? Was there no concrete evidence that someone was not human but a demon? He didn't get any further this way. He got up from Mutsus office chair to go back into the main house. The conversation wasn't as helpful as he'd hoped and his mood was at a new low, so he had no reason to stay right now. And to top it all, his hand still hurt. A few splinters couldn't be that bad? He would take the bandage off before bathing today, then he would see why it still hurt. But Mutsu didn't seem to agree with him leaving. She stood in his way and her voice was sharp. "Is it about your boyfriend?" Was she serious? "I don't how that is any of your concern." He had asked for her opinion, she had answered him. What he did with it was his business. He owed her no account. "Tahomaru, this is really important to me now. If he's in any way involved in strange things, you should seriously consider whether he's good for you." He froze. Did she mean he should part with Hyakkimaru again? They were only together for a few days! He didn't want that! If only he hadn't said anything to her! He tried to push past her. "Leave me alone, Mutsu!" But she didn't think about it and reflexively grabbed his injured hand so that he wouldn't slip past her. And his hand burned! Tahomaru gave a cry of pain and Mutsu let go in shock. With his bandaged hand pressed to his chest, he ran as fast as he could down the hallways like a prey on the run. Mutsu was hot on his heels and kept calling out to him. When he slammed the door of his room behind him, she pounded on it. "Tahomaru, please, open the door!" He didn't even think about it! With his back to the door and his hand still pressed to his chest, Tahomaru tried to catch his breath. Damn, why did it hurt so much? He tugged at the bandage and when he lifted the cloth underneath, he thought he was going to throw up. These weren't the small splinters and scratches he'd treated himself. There were cuts, red against his skin, some were bleeding. Fine lines that made small characters, words. It was scratched all over his right palm: >> YOU`RE MINE SOON <<

"The participant cannot be reached at the moment. Please try again later." Hyakkimaru hung up again and dropped onto his bed. He had tried to call Tahomaru all evening, but he had his phone off. Always just this stupid announcement. He really wanted to hear the other's voice and ask when they could meet again. They had only been on the phone yesterday. Hyakkimaru got up again. He had to do something now, it was too quiet for him. Papa was upstairs working on the new prosthetic arms, Dororo was doing homework in her room. Suddenly he felt like playing the piano again. He sat down in front of the instrument and just let his artificial fingers hit any keys. At first it was a strange-sounding mess, no tone harmonized with the previous one. Still, Hyakkimaru listened carefully.

D5, A6, G4, F5, A3, F#2, E2, D3, A3, E4, D3, A3, C#4, A3, D4, C#4, H3, A3, H3, C#4, A3, C#4

And gradually a simple melody began to form, his fingers finding matching notes. Yes, that sounded nice. He let his hands slide over the keyboard until he felt the sequence of notes come to an end.

F#2, C#5, E2, D5, C#5, H4, A4, H4, D2, A4, A4, E4, A4, A4, A4, E4, E4, A4

He sat quietly for a moment while the notes reverberated inside his mind. A small hand was placed on his shoulder; Dororo had come into the room unnoticed by him. "That was nice, Aniki." She leaned against him and he put an arm around her. And then they played a new piece together that belonged only to the both of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello dear readership.  
> Long live cosmetic surgery, it had given Hyakkimaru an inconspicuous nose! So the fact that Taho didn't notice while kissing only speaks for his inexperience :) I was so free to just use the character Okowa. Then everyone has an appearance in mind and I don't have to come up with an unnecessary OC. Now an important storyline about Tahomaru begins, so stay tuned :) If you find out which song Hyakkimaru is playing, despite my horrible description, you can make a wish :)  
> Stay healthy  
> Sincerely yours  
> Otakuplant 
> 
> P.S .: What do you think Tahomaru smells like for Hyakkimaru?


	10. Friction

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning: presumably drugging, cuts

Tahomaru vomited. Again. He thought that he had nothing left in his body that he could choke up. When he was finally able to lean against the wall again, because nothing more followed, he closed his eyes. He didn't want to see or hear anything, because his skull felt like someone was hitting it with a hammer. He felt a hand gently stroking his shoulder and Mutsu asked him quietly if he wanted some water. He just nodded and she handed him a glass. He gripped it awkwardly with his left hand, his right hand tightly held. He didn't want to look at it, he`d just feel sick again. First he only took a little to rinse his mouth, then he drank the rest in small sips. He just wanted to go to bed, hoping that he would wake up tomorrow morning and that it would all be just a nightmare. But he still felt the painful throbbing in his right palm. >>YOU`RE MINE SOON<< He suppressed the newly emerging nausea as best he could. Mutsu looked at him with an indefinable expression in her eyes, but Tahomaru had known her long enough to know that her mind was racing to find out why this had just happened. He had fled from her to his room, which in retrospect now struck him as childish, only to storm past her into the nearest bathroom seconds later. Christ, he actually knocked her to the ground in the process. He had vomited several times since then, every time his gaze even fleetingly caught his right hand. So he'd better stop looking. Then Hyogo came along with a small bag in hand, which he pressed into Mutsus hand. "Taho, come on, I'll take you to your room." He picked him up as if he were a little child, but Tahomaru didn't protest. When he sat him down on his bed and sat down next to him, he knew that he couldn't just lie down, turn around and ignore them. Mutsu put a new glass of water on his bedside table, probably something to calm his stomach in there. Then she sat on his desk chair and waited. The two worried about him, he immediately felt guilty. He exhaled audibly, closed his eyes and held out his right hand. With the wounds up. And the other two breathed in shocked. Hyogo first asked, "Taho, what does that mean?" Mutsu followed immediately: "Did he do this?" There was anger in her voice. Tahomaru opened his eyes again and concentrated fully on Mutsus face. "No, now drop it. I don't know who did this." She didn't look convinced. The subject was still open for her. He sighted with annoyance as he pulled his aching hand back toward him. "Mutsu, please, not now. Think about it. I last saw Hyakkimaru on Monday evening. Did I have an injury to my hand yesterday morning when you took me to school?" Her eyes softened a little again, but her body remained tense. "No, you didn't have the bandage until evening. You said you injured yourself with a broken pencil." - "And I was joking that since you've known Hyakkimaru you've been kind of clumsy" added Hyogo. "Exactly, I managed to pull splinters from a pencil into my hand, thanks for this unnecessary reminder, Hyogo. In any case, there were really only a few scratches. I fell asleep in the sickroom and when I woke up again I had .. ." His thoughts came to an abrupt halt. That just can`t be? Mutsu and Hyogo both looked worried. "Yakonari-Sensei. She was there and said she had bandaged my hand again." And she called me cute. But the two didn't need to know that now. After a moment of incredulous silence, Mutsu began: "Tahomaru, I almost can't believe that. Yakonari-sensei has been a doctor at the school for years, everyone loves her, there has never been any questionable incident. Why should she do that?" She looked thoughtfully in the direction of his hand. Very good question. But there was no other option. Then came an objection from Hyogo: "Couldn't someone have been in the sickroom before her? I mean, you were asleep after all?" Theoretically conceivable, but the thesis had a decisive weakness. "Even when I sleep I would probably notice if someone cut my hand open? Besides ..." He held out his hand again and although he wasn't looking, he could see the writing clearly. "Something like that takes time. And in any case ... at least a local anaesthetic." So now it was out. He suspected the school doctor had somehow drugged him and then cut a creepy message in the palm of his hand. And even if he knew it sounded ridiculous and could hardly believe it himself, it was the only logical explanation. "All right, then we'll assume the school doctor hurt you. Can we somehow prove that?" He looked at Mutsu in amazement. But no, actually he wasn't surprised. She and Hyogo had always been on his side, and while the allegations were incredible, they believed him. They stood by him. He couldn't put into words how grateful he was to have them. "Taho, should we put a few more plasters on you?" He leaned against Hyogo. He hadn't done that in years. "Yes, please."

The night air was mild and it was quiet around him. Hyakkimaru liked the silence at night when the traffic noise and people were gone. Then he could hear noises echoing to him from far away. Most of the time it were trains, often a cat screamed somewhere and sometimes he imagined he could hear the sea. Even if Papa said it wasn't very likely, but he liked the idea. Suddenly the silence was broken by the ringing of his phone. "Hello Hyakkimaru. I'm sorry, my battery was empty. Am I bothering you?" Finally, his voice. "It's okay, I'm just out for a walk." How much he had missed that voice, even though only a day had passed. "You wander around a lot, don't you?" How much he missed him. "... Tahomaru, I want to meet you now. Can I?" A short silence. "You know what time it is, don't you?" He didn't know and didn't care. "No. Or don't you want to?" The other was breathing audibly faster. "What I do not want?" There was expectation in his voice. "That I come to kiss you." Another short silence. "Yes, come. You know the way."

Hyakkimaru was on his way to see him because he wanted to kiss him. Tahomarus pulse quickened at the thought of it. He pushed aside all logical objections: that he actually still had no answer, whether the other was a murderer? They would talk about it another time! That his hand was cut open by a presumably madwoman? That's why he needed Hyakkimaru now! That he had exams from tomorrow? He did well in class, so no problem at all! Finally that annoying voice of his sanity had fallen silent. All that remained were his feelings for Hyakkimaru. Longing. Love ... Lust. Yes, he felt Lust. He wanted to feel the other, with his hands, his tongue, his whole body. But he wasn't sure if it was mutual right now. But then again: he came to him late at night, so the odds weren't bad? No, he shouldn't set his expectations too high. In addition, he first had to manage to get Hyakkimaru into his room unnoticed. His mother wasn't a problem, she was sound asleep at this time. He was worried about his father, who had an irregular sleep pattern depending on how much work he had to do. Tahomaru didn't want to imagine what would happen if he caught him letting "inappropriate company" into the house in the middle of the night, not to mention any activities that might still take place. But somehow all these concerns failed to convince him that it was a bad idea to bring Hyakkimaru into his room now and do whatever they would do then. Tahomarus phone vibrated briefly, Hyakkimaru was standing in front of the gate. He walked quietly through the hallways, paying attention to every sound. Everything was quiet, so he shouldn't make any noise. Neither door nor gate made a sound when he opened it. There Hyakkimaru stood in front of him and despite the darkness he could see the smile on the other's lips. Tahomaru pulled him through the gate and to himself to whisper to him, "We have to be quiet, okay?" Hyakkimaru nodded in his shoulder and took a deep breath before letting go of him so that Tahomaru could close the gate. When he turned back to him, he noticed that Hyakkimaru was keeping his head down and staring on Tahomarus right hand. No. He didn't want to think about it, he wanted to forget now. He pulled the other back to him, leaned against him. "Later please. I need you now." Hyakkimaru raised his head again, seemed to think for a moment, and finally put his lips on Tahomarus without comment.

They made it to Tahomarus room without getting caught. Tahomaru wasn't sure how much noise they were actually making. Their excited breathing alone sounded terribly loud. When the door closed behind them, their hands were already everywhere. Tahomarus, to feel every inch of Hyakkimarus body. Hyakkimarus to hold Tahomarus body tight. The warm fingers of one of them brushed under the T-shirt of the other, over soft skin on the back, firm abdominal muscles and easily palpable ribs. Hyakkimarus nipples hardened under his palms, and every now and then Tahomaru ran his fingernails over the delicate skin. Hyakkimaru let his lips wander instead of his numb hands and he took a deep breath again and again to memorize Tahomarus smell exactly. Mouth, cheeks, bridge of the nose, over the closed eyelids to the forehead, along the temple. The gentle sighs that had escaped Tahomaru so far turned into a groan that was barely kept low as Hyakkimarus breath swept hot over his ear and then, accompanied by a warm, wet tongue and hard, nibbling teeth towards his pulse to the collarbone. Tahomarus hands had now reached the others head, loosened the hair tie and stroked the smooth, silky hair, only lightly brushing the sides with the hearing prostheses with his fingertips. Gradually both of them were bothered by the clothes they were still wearing. At a certain area it had already become too tight for both of them, they were unbearably hot and yet they had goose bumps at the same time and longed for the body heat of their counterpart, while every single touch sent a pleasant shiver through their bodies. Their mouths found each other for a new kiss because their hands had to leave each other for a moment to undo annoying buttons and zip fasteners and to strip clothing from their heated bodies. Neither of them wondered whether it was too rash, whether they should just leave it at kissing and wait with everything else. Because right now it felt right. They wanted each other and for a short time their mouths were all that connected them. Lips, groping lovingly. Tongues, pressing wet against each other. Teeth, tenderly biting sensitive, thin skin. When they finally had to part again so that Hyakkimaru could get rid of his T-shirt, Tahomaru took a moment to look at him in the weak light that fell from the street into his room. The last time he'd seen him unclothed, he'd been too embarrassed to really look at Hyakkimarus body. His slim stature, which gave no indication of how much strength he actually had. The long black hair that partially covered one half of the other's face and fell on his light, soft skin. Only now did he notice that the left leg from the thigh down was also a prosthesis. It contrasted strangely with his right leg, which had a couple of long plasters on its calf. So maimed and so beautiful, as if he were not from this world. At last Tahomarus gaze fell on his penis, which stood firm out from a fine nest of curly hair, hard and expectant. His heart started racing and he licked his lips, which suddenly seemed rather dry. Hyakkimaru seemed tired of waiting and pulled him closer again. Their erections brushed against each other and both inhaled heavily, quickly closing their mouths in a deep kiss that hopefully stifled their moans as the excitement grew with their pulse and their penises gently rubbed against each other. For a moment neither dared to move. Too intense was the feeling that raced down their nerve tracts, too violent the reaction that made their nerve endings sing. Again Hyakkimarus impatience and curiosity won out, he carefully reached for their penises and pressed them carefully together with his hand. Compared to their hot throbbing erections, his silicone skin was cool and Tahomaru believed that this contrast alone would bring him to orgasm. Suddenly, full of burning impatience himself, he pushed Hyakkimaru by the shoulders towards his bed. They tripped over their own feet and landed somewhat awkwardly on the mattress, the fingers between them pressing their dicks tightly together. Their lips could no longer hold back their intermittent breathing and excited sighs as Tahomaru sat on Hyakkimaru, one leg at each side and his hands pressed the others chest onto the bed, repeatedly rubbing his fingers over the hardened nipples. Hyakkimaru kept their two erections in hand the whole time, but did not move them intentional. Instead, Tahomaru began to move. First slowly, then faster and faster, he pushed his hips back and forth, rubbing his stiff member in the tightness of Hyakkimarus grip along his equally hard penis. Their testicles kept pressing together and neither of them cared that much whether they were loud or not. Following an impulse, Hyakkimaru moved his fingers, changed their position, so that he rubbed their two exposed tips together and the moisture escaping was distributed with every movement on the inside of his now warmed hand. It was wonderful. Warm, hard, tight, soft, moist. Both Tahomaru and he could not hold back their pleased sighs or throaty groans with each thrust, it was music in Hyakkimarus ears. His other hand held Tahomaru on the hip, wandered on to his bottom and to somehow press him closer to himself, he grabbed. They wanted more, although neither of them was sure whether he could take "more" without losing his mind. And perhaps their instinctual bodies knew that for themselves, because they would not have been able to say later why suddenly first Tahomaru and barely a moment later Hyakkimaru ejaculated with a startled groan and their sperm mixed between their bodies. They clung to each other, twitching and trembling, as if they were afraid of drowning alone in their climax, from which they had been suddenly hit like from a wave. After a few minutes that seemed like an eternity to them, Tahomaru let himself fall to the side from Hyakkimarus body and both tried to come to their senses again, to surface back to reality. At some point Hyakkimaru turned and looked directly at Tahomaru with his blind eyes. How could it be that there was so much feeling in those glass eyes? A hand, covered with silicone skin, came to his face and gently caressed Tahomarus cheek. It was warm and soft. "I love you, Tahomaru."

She woke up from it. She knew these noises well. Probably because she herself has so often been the reason why someone uttered such sounds. At first she thought Tahomaru would do a little more self-care again, he was a needy teenager after all. Due to the structural conditions, her bedroom was a thin distance from his and when they were still children, Tahomaru had always had a lot of fun throwing things to her through the windows. Suddenly she noticed that there was a second voice that screamed for the climax in the same rhythm. She wondered for a moment if Taho-tan could really be that stupid ... Yes, definitely yes. The boy was lucky that his father regularly helped with medication due to his disastrous sleeping habits, otherwise his lusty endeavour would probably have come to an abrupt end a long time ago. And his mother slept like a stone anyway. Should she take care of things instead? ... No, probably not. The two seemed to have just finished anyway, it was quiet again. She spontaneously set her alarm clock an hour earlier than usual so she could be sure to intercept Taho-tans lover as she doubted he would go home now. It was the opportunity to put him through his paces! When she closed her eyes again, she noticed, however, that Tahomarus' nocturnal escapade hadn`t left her without a trace. Between her legs, she felt her vulva throb and the heat began to flow from her lower abdomen through her entire body. Oh dear, her voyeuristic streak didn't even stop at her family. She thought about calling her boyfriend for a moment, but then remembered that he was on night shift tonight. So she would have to take care of herself alone. She ran her hands over her body and felt it react with anticipation. Slowly slowly. If she felt such unexpected pleasure, then she wanted to enjoy it. With one hand she reached into her side table, feeling the various objects in it. Once again she was spoiled for choices. Which toy should it be today?

They lay quietly together, each listening to each other's breath. Tahomaru ran his fingers lightly along one of Hyakkimarus prosthetic arms, trying to memorize the texture of the material. The heat that had clouded his mind was gone now and there was room for other thoughts again. Was that his first sex? That was probably a question of definition, but whether yes or no, it was great. He felt good, was at peace with himself. And he would love to do it with Hyakkimaru again. But now something else intruded into his consciousness. It wasn't the question that had preoccupied him all day, but it was close and he wondered where he suddenly found the courage to speak out. "What do you usually do with the corpses?" Hyakkimaru, who had just looked a little drowsy, looked puzzled, as if he had no idea what he was talking about. "Corpses?" His surprise was real. "Well, if you kill something, the body stays behind. A corpse. And you said you had already killed demons. And they will hardly have vanished into thin air, right?" Hyakkimaru looked thoughtful for a moment before answering. "Not air, no." Tahomaru did not expect this answer. "They become something else, but I don't know what. Dororo said one turned into mud and one into sand. So not air." Tahomaru thought quietly. That made no sense at all. But he didn't think Hyakkimaru was lying to him either. "But that newscaster? There would have been a huge commotion if the body had suddenly dissolved into something?" - "She was different. The red could hide in her so that she looked like a normal person. I don't know why ..." The other seemed to think about it for the first time. Did he care so less otherwise? "And how do you know you didn't accidentally murder an innocent woman?" The question left his mouth sharper than he thought and he was immediately sorry. But Hyakkimaru didn't seem to care. In the same matter-of-fact tone as the previous times, he only said: "I just know." Somehow he seemed to have noticed his disbelief, because he added, "She was standing behind me to push me. She was red." He couldn't argue with that, or he would have had to call Hyakkimaru a liar. So he left it and instead leaned over the other's face and kissed him. The latter let it happen and closed his arms around Tahomarus waist, hugging him tightly. When their lips parted again, it was Hyakkimaru who spoke. "What`s with your hand?" Tahomaru froze, he had actually forgotten it until just now. He didn't want to think about it, let alone speak. He would have loved to lie, distract the other. But at the same time a voice answered in the back of his head. Hyakkimaru had always been honest with him so far. Didn't he deserve an honest answer? He breathed in and out a few times to calm himself down. His palm itched painfully again under the large plaster that Hyogo had stuck on him. "Somebody... injured my palm. I don't know why, but it scares me ..." The other listened attentively, nodded as if to encourage him to continue. Could he tell more without worrying Hyakkimaru unnecessarily? "The person wrote ... something. It says >>You're mine soon<<. Pretty scary, isn't it?" He suppressed the impulse to laugh nervously. Because it was no laughing matter. His head suddenly felt so heavy, so he lowered it onto Hyakkimarus chest and listened to his heartbeat. It calmed him down, made the fear lessen. He almost didn't hear Hyakkimarus voice. "Who?" Should he share his suspicions with him? "I don't know for sure, but I think it was our school doctor. She was the only one who actually had the opportunity." Hyakkimaru said nothing more, but ran his hands over his back, sides, shoulders and hair. Tahomaru relaxed more and more, hearing the steady pounding in the other's chest. And fell asleep.

There was a knock on the door. Hyakkimaru opened his eyes. He heard a soft woman's voice. "Tahomaru, are you awake?" No, he was still sleeping soundly pressed against him. Should he answer? But Tahomaru had said nobody in the house should know he was here. "Itou Hyakkimaru, I know you're there, please come out. I want to talk to you" Oh. Then this question was probably settled. He got up carefully so as not to wake the other and went to the door. Wait a minute, should he get dressed? "I'm not wearing anything." - "Then hurry up. Tahomarus parents will soon wake up and by then you have to be out of here. I've already got your shoes, so get dressed." Yeah, that made sense. He searched the pile of cloth on the floor and put on what was probably his clothes. T-shirt was clear, Tahomaru had been wearing something with buttons. Underwear ... he couldn't tell, he just took one. Fit. The trousers could be his, but the button wasn't right. So the other one. Ah, his phone was in that pocket too. When he was finally completely dressed, he turned to the bed again and carefully rubbed his forehead against the sleeping Tahomaru before setting a kiss on his lips. When he turned around, the door was open and a person, probably the woman, was watching him. "Good morning, Itou-kun. I`ll just open the window for a moment, even in the hall I can smell what you were doing here last night." That confused Hyakkimaru. He took a conscious breath. Yes, he could smell Tahomaru and himself, very intensely, but what was wrong with that? Was that something about the feeling of shame again? He had to ask Tahomaru later. When the woman had opened the window wide and covered Tahomaru, she went back to the door. "Come on now. Or do you need help?" He shook his head and followed her.

She was frankly surprised. She had imagined him somehow ... different? Coarser? Or more awkward? But those few seconds that she had watched him without his knowledge, this careful tenderness with which he touched Tahomaru, made her toss this makeshift construct overboard. Now it was time to get to know the other in an unbiased manner. He walked after her like an obedient child as she went back into the annex and into the kitchen. It was actually very interesting, had she happened to meet him on the street it would never have occurred to her that he might be blind. She would rather have noticed that he was extremely handsome. His finely cut features framed by long straight hair, together with his narrow body made him look very feminine. But something irritated her, even if she couldn't tell what it was. But if it was important, it would occur to her later. When she reaches their destination, she points to one of the chairs. "Please, sit down. Do you want water, a coffee or something to eat?" He just shook his head again instead of using words. She watched closely as he walked over to the chair she had pointed to and sat down. Without eyesight, it should actually not be possible for him to find a goal shown without a description. Very interesting. And on the side of his head ... There were hearing prostheses. So he was at least hard of hearing. She poured herself some water, turned on the coffee maker, and sat down with the boy at the table. "Sorry, I haven't introduced myself yet. I'm Kashima Mutsu, Tahomarus cousin. I'm studying psychology and social sciences at Senryo University in my third semester. I`m pleased to meet you." She looked at him expectantly. She wanted to see for herself how well he knew and was able to use social etiquette. When he started to speak, his voice was a bit rough and somehow muffled. As if he rarely used it. Well, but at least he could scream his orgasm into the world with relish. "Itou Hyakkimaru. Nice to meet you." Just the bare minimum, but many people would find that impolite. There was silence for a moment. If Mutsu wanted to know anything about him, she would have to ask directly. Small talk didn't seem to be one of his talents. "Well, I want to talk to you because I want to get to know you. But one thing first. Tahomaru is very important to me and he's crazy about you. That's why I want to warn you: If you break his heart, you`ll get something else broken. Are we clear?" How would he react to such a threat? He didn't think twice and replied in a calm tone: "That is not necessary. I love Tahomaru. I will not hurt him." A clear answer. "Well, then we've sorted that out. Sorry if I'm so direct, but I'm interested. Are you blind from birth?" He just nodded. "Oh. But how is it that you move so safely in strange surroundings?" Shrug. "Why do you wear hearing prostheses?" - "I am deaf." - "Also from birth?" Another nod. Would the whole conversation go like this now? It was more like an interrogation. At that moment the coffee machine gurgled and Mutsu got up to pour herself. "Would you like a drink now?" He thought for a moment. "Strawberry Juice."

Tahomaru woke up because he was missing something, but his still drowsy mind could not figure out what it was. He turned around and then it occurred to him. Hyakkimaru! He sat up and scanned the room with his eyes. Nothing. Had he already left? With a sigh he let himself fall back on his pillow and closed his eyes again. He actually had... He felt his cheeks warm again and a big grin crept onto his face. Birds were singing through the window... When did he open the window? Not at all. His eyes were suddenly open again. Was Hyakkimaru quick-witted enough to open the window to let in fresh air? Rather not. So probably had... He reached for his phone and yes, he had a message from Mutsu.

_Taho-tan, I'd suggest you come over as soon as you're awake. I informed your parents that you would have breakfast with us, because I am explaining something to you for today's exam in ancient Japanese. I also recommend that you use our bathroom. See you._

The message was from ten minutes ago. The blush on his face was still there, but no longer because of the memory. Mutsu knew. And with her did Hyogo too. By the gods, they would certainly mock him about it all summer long. But why did she think he should wash himself in their bathroom? He already knew that he must smell like ... sex, he would have taken a shower now anyway. Only he knew Mutsu too well to question her "suggestions", so he would obey even if he had no idea why. Reluctantly, he got up and picked up the clothes that were lying on the floor. And stopped because this underwear was not his own. Did Hyakkimaru then...? His pulse quickened at the thought and a strange excitement crept through him as an idea formed in his head. Should he also...? For a moment he stood undecided with this piece of cloth in hand in the middle of the room, then he swallowed hard. He thought to himself: venerated father, beloved mother, please forgive your worthless son, for he is obviously a pervert ... And put on Hyakkimarus underwear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello dear readership, did you have fun? ;) I also had a lot of fun writing this chapter. But don't get used to it, the next chapter is going to take off in a different direction. Personally, I always find it very funny when people have a very stupid idea but put it into practice because they think it is the best idea of all time. See Tahomaru <3 Oh yes, before anyone gets confused because I always describe Hyakkimaru as very thin: The boy has simply eaten too little in his life so far because he has no sense of smell and taste. That makes a difference. Until the next chapter, all the best and stay healthy. <3
> 
> Sincerely yours
> 
> Otakuplant


	11. Phyllotaxis

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning: Burglary, Gore, PTSD

This Mutsu asked a lot of questions. He didn't feel like answering most of them, so he shrugged his shoulders quite often. She didn't seem happy with it, but left it at that every time. Unfortunately he didn't get any strawberry juice, Mutsu said they didn't have some. But the peach juice she gave him was delicious too. Then he heard familiar steps echoing behind him from the corridor. "Mutsu, I'm here." Tahomaru had woken up. He turned in the direction from which the footsteps came and heard the surprise of the other when his movements stopped briefly in the middle and he dropped something soft. In the next moment he had already put his arms around him and Hyakkimaru noticed that he still smelled of them, which made him extremely happy. "Tahomaru. Good morning." He too closed his arms around his opposite, who now ran one hand through his hair that was still open. "I thought you were gone already." Why did he sound sad? "Mutsu came for me. She said your parents would be waking up soon." He hugged him even tighter. "Yes, she's right." Tahomaru turned to his cousin: "Thanks, I really don't know what I would do without you." She let out a short laugh before answering. "No problem Taho-tan. But I suggest you two better take a shower now, you still smell like sperm and we have to leave in an hour at the latest." Oh yes, Tahomaru definitely had to go to school. Then it occurred to him that he hadn't told Papa where he was ... Although, it wasn't the first time that he was gone all night. He was coming home soon anyway and Papa never expected him to get up before noon. Then he felt Tahomarus hand on his shoulder. "Come on Hyakkimaru. Let's go to the bathroom."

She really hadn't meant to, but then her concern had gotten out of hand. Of course, Aniki could take care of herself. And yes, it did happen that he didn't come home until morning. But still she got nervous when he wasn't in his room. After a short back and forth she had decided that it couldn't hurt if she checked the location of his phone. Just a security measure. As soon as the phone was located, she wished she hadn`t done it. The signal came from Namagachi, he must have somehow gone to Tahomaru. Even if she was annoyed that sometimes her somewhat stupid Aniki had not told her where he was going, she felt remorse. She didn't have the right to spy on him. What he did with his time was his business. Often enough she wandered around with her school and non-school friends and only came back when she was hungry. And still ... Didn't Aniki need her since he had Tahomaru? Of course, her head knew that that wasn't true and that they couldn't be compared at all. In addition, three days ago she had really wanted to pair them up because there was such a tension in the air and she thought it was hilarious. But the feeling was something else now. She turned off Uncle Jukais tablet and went downstairs for breakfast. She had to go to school soon anyway.

Tahomaru felt the cool water running down his body while he watched Hyakkimaru and had trouble keeping his lust for him in check. It was a downright sensual sight to see the other sitting there on the stool and stroking his body with a dripping flannel. Along the narrow neck, over and underneath the shoulders to just below the hem of the prosthetic arms. The chest, the sides, his stomach. He even managed to wash his back with a few practised contortions and Tahomaru was sure that he wasn't that flexible himself. He had to remember that. When Hyakkimaru then slowly stroked his right leg, outside towards the foot and up the inside again, Tahomaru finally forced himself to look away and wash himself. Fortunately the water was cold.

He was used to Taho turning to them frequently. Mostly because he didn't want to be alone. But if his sister had told him last week that Tahomaru would be using their bathroom with his boyfriend Hyakkimaru that morning on an exam day because they smelled of sex like a massage parlour, he would have raised serious concerns about her sanity. Sure, they had been joking when their little cousin suddenly had a boyfriend at all earlier this week. But that they would actually end up in bed together after such a short time? If he weren't so happy for his younger cousin, he'd be jealous … All-right, he was jealous that the younger one was now one ... two ... three experiences ahead of him. But what should he do? He just didn't have any success with girls, most of them actually liked "guys" like his sister. Good looking. Eloquent .... Slightly annoyed, he took another sip of coffee and looked across the table to the two lovebird who had been flirting the whole time. Hyakkimaru literally stuck to Taho and kept rubbing his face against the crook of his neck while his cousin took turns putting a spoonful of pudding into his and his friend's mouth. Both of them grinned like blockheads and were constantly whispering things to each other that made them laugh softly. Didn't they care a bit that they weren't alone in the room? He couldn't help but he honestly would be glad if they dropped Hyakkimaru at the bus stop on the way to school and he no longer had to endure this fuss. He needed more coffee.

Jukai actually had no patients that day, so he was a bit surprised when the doorbell rang. He put Hyakkimarus prosthetic arm he was working on on the table and went to look. In front of the door stood a man with white hair and a strange stare that Jukai was uneasy about. "Sorry, I need medical help". With that, he held up an arm that was bleeding profusely from a cut. "Of course, please come in," Jukai replied somewhat reluctantly and stepped aside to let the man in. What kind of doctor would he be if he were to send an injured man away, no matter how suspicious he looked? His stare, cold look was way too familiar to have any doubts and by no means he would let his guard down. "Please go through the first door on the left and have a seat. I'll be with you in a moment." The other did as he was told and Jukai made a quick detour through the office, but without taking his eyes off the door to the treatment room through which he had just sent the patient. His mind worked at full speed as he quickly pulled on the treatment gown. Eyes like these had looked at him from the mirror for years. The wound had been made with a large blade, too large for an ordinary kitchen knife. The angle spoke for self-harm, according to the amount and coagulation of the blood it must have happened just moment ago. Was he still carrying the blade? Did he have anything within reach to defend himself in an emergency? What did this person want anyway? He had nothing to do with these "circles" in which this man evidently moved for a long time. Next door he heard the sound of wood breaking. The connecting doors! He stormed through the back door of his office into the hallway and saw that Hyakkimarus room was open. Hyakkimaru!

Hyakkimaru had just walked in the door when he realized something was wrong. "Papa?" His Papa sat on the floor at the end of the hall and did not respond to his call. As fast as he could he ran to him and grabbed his shoulders "Papa?! Papa, what`s wrong?" He heard a noise behind him and then turned around. In his room a person was lying on the floor and talked to himself in a low, rattling voice, interrupted by sounds of pain. "Yes, you will get his blood, yes. It will be enough, yes." But this person was so strange again, he had traces of red on him, but wasn't red himself. But there was something further back in his room. He could see a red glow beneath the dresser that pulsed slightly but didn't move. As if under a spell, Hyakkimaru walked slowly towards it, stepping over the lying man on the floor which was trying to grab his legs. "There, there he is, Nihil! I'll give you his blood, you should have all of it!" But he seemed too weak, he could just lift his arms before they fell back to the ground. He wasn't a threat. Hyakkimaru reached under the dresser and pulled out an elongated object. It looked like a knife, but the blade was as long as his forearm. Was that a sword? But wasn't it too short for that? It glowed and he felt as if someone was talking to him, but his hearing prostheses only transmitted an erratic rustling and creaking in which he could recognize a speech melody but no words. It was very uncomfortable and he pulled the transmitter units off his head without further ado. He wanted to take a look at this thing now. It was clearly red, so it was probably a "demon". But why was it an object? Could he just break it like that? Without further ado, he tried it out, grabbed the thing at both ends and bent it with all his might. He felt a strange vibration that ate through his prostheses, into his shoulders and then into his chest. It was over as quickly as it started. In each hand he held a half of the short sword and the vibration was gone, as was the red. Now it was just grey like all objects. He dropped it and turned to Papa, who was still sitting motionless in the hallway. The stranger on the floor squirmed and tried to get up, but he couldn't. The red on him was gone too. Interesting. And suddenly there was a pressure in his head, it felt like it was tearing apart! Something was pushing out inside his skull, pushing through flesh and bones. Where just had been silence, there was now a thunder, a noise and a roar, a squeak and a beep, for which he had no comparison. He couldn't stand it, it should stop! His ears! He dug his fake hands into the sides of his head, trying somehow to take the pressure off even if he had to tear his skull open! IT SHOULD STOP! His fingers moved, with all their might tore, dug, grabbed. STOP! They found their target under the skin and something long thin was pulled inside out on each side. STOP! Every millimetre was torture, a stabbing, cutting in his skull and a hot liquid trickled down each side of his head. STOP! Suddenly there were gaps, aching, bleeding holes that he could feel exactly while the inside of his head was burning. STOP! He heard something through the indescribable noise in his skull, a voice that screamed in pain. STOP! His own. And slowly, very slowly, it stopped. He felt the holes in his head close, heal. The thunder was gone, there was only a murmur, a bit like the sea. Ah, so that was what his own pulse sounded like? He was lying on the floor and listening to his own heartbeat, how long he didn't know. He was so terribly tired ... was he dreaming again? He was still on the ground, but it felt different. It scratched his cheek. His wooden floor didn't scratch. There was that little glow again. And a sound. Evenly. Long. Reassuring. Someone was sitting next to him. Put his hand on his head. He could feel it. Then he heard something else. A woman. She sobbed. Tired ... At some point he thought he heard footsteps, unfamiliar voices trying to talk to him. He concentrated as best he could. Was he hurt? No, he was fine. Why was it covered in blood? Didn't know, didn't care. Did he know what had happened here? There was a stranger in his room. He couldn't remember anything more. They would take him with them now, he needn't to be afraid, was that okay? Where was Papa? His Papa came along too, they would both be taken to the hospital. Was Papa okay? Yes, his Papa was fine. Good. And then again he didn't care, he fell asleep again.

What had he done to be so punished by fate? Not only did he have to examine this "Itou Hyakkimaru" for the second time within a few days, no, this time Jukai himself was also his patient. He would have loved to put it on someone else and just go home. His shift had actually been over for hours anyway, he was tired, damn it! But it would not have been possible at all to just go, his colleagues, who had just been on duty with him, were in the process of operating the third injured man who had been brought in with the two of them. Besides, that would have run counter to his own claim. A doctor had to treat a sick person, no matter who it was. He wasn't like ... Jukai. Kaname took a headache pill and continued completing the medical history sheets. The boy was uninjured, suffered only from extreme exhaustion and was slightly anaemic. There was no explanation for the ridiculous amount of blood that had stuck on him, not even a fresh scratch to be found. As soon as he woke up, he would send him home. Whoever he was should sleep at home! Kaname sighed and went to the next form. His Fa -... Jukai had a long cut on his right upper arm, which was not deep, otherwise he was physically unharmed. However, he showed symptoms of dissociative stupor and amnesia, probably due to an acute stress reaction. He still had to remain under observation. What a crap. He did not want this man, his begetter, to be around under any circumstances. Otherwise thoughts came to him that he didn't want and questions that he shouldn't ask himself. But who was he kidding? They were there already. Jukai was able to set a single stab in such a way that it was guaranteed to be fatal and Kaname was certain that the man whose life his colleagues in the operating room were fighting for had no chance. He couldn't tell whether it was self-defence, as the paramedics had suspected; that was a matter for the police. Then this boy, Hyakkimaru. According to the ID, his birthday was less than three months after the loss of contact. So that he would be Jukais biological son and thus his half-brother, was unlikely. Unless, of course, Jukai had cheated on his mother then, but he didn't believe that. This man was incapable of love. Nor could he imagine that he had somehow adopted him, because who would entrust a child to such a monster? And why should Jukai even care for someone else's child if he couldn't look after his own? A disabled one at that? So an affair after all? Kaname rubbed his temples, that's why he didn't want to have anything to do with this man. It gave him nothing but a headache. He got up to see if the boy had woken up again. He also had to notify the police. The sooner he got rid of them, the better.

Dororo was desperate. All she'd wanted to do was take off her school bag, maybe take something to snack on from the fridge and then play football with friends in the park. Instead, police cars were standing in front of the clinic door and a few onlookers were lounging around. She would have loved to run away, but she was afraid for Aniki and Uncle Jukai. Had something happened to them? So she went into the house through the side door and was approached by a policewoman at the door. "Hello little one, do you live here?" She nodded nervously and peered past the woman down the hall. A man was taking pictures in front of Hyakkimarus room. "Um, yes. Where are my Aniki and Uncle Jukai? Did something happen to them?" The fear in her voice was clearly audible, but she just didn't care. "Don't worry, both of them are fine. They are only in the hospital to be examined. Then they will definitely come home. I would like to ask you a few questions and then explain to you what happened here. Is that okay?" Did she have a choice? She nodded, still too insecure to argue. "Well, let's sit down in the kitchen then." The woman wanted to put her hand on Dororos shoulder, but she dived under and sat down on her chair. The policewoman said nothing, just called something up the aisle to her colleagues and sat across from her. She put a cell phone on the table. "I'll record the conversation. And don't worry, there aren't any bad questions. What's your name?" - "Dororo. I'm ten years old." - "Well, Dororo. You said you live here. Who else lives here?" - "My Aniki Hyakkimaru and Uncle Jukai." - "Uncle Jukai, is that the doctor Itou?" - "Yes." - "Do your parents live here too?" She hesitated a moment. Did she really have to answer that...? "Um, no, my parents don't live here. Uncle Jukai takes care of me." Was that enough? If the policewoman noticed her hesitation, she didn't let it show. "All right. Did you just get back from school?" - "Yes." - "Very good. You see, it wasn't bad at all, was it?" The woman smiled and it looked honest. Dororo felt herself relax. "Well, somebody seems to have broken into here this morning, probably shortly after you left for school. Your Aniki is fine, he can definitely go home today. Your Uncle Jukai is injured, but not bad. Do you have someone who can take care of you until your Aniki and Uncle come back home? " Nothing was wrong with him. Dororo was relieved. But why was Uncle Jukai hurt? "Well, not really. I'm mostly outside in the afternoons. Friends and such. But Aniki is coming back today, yes?" - "Definitely. I can take you to the hospital, okay?" - "Yes, thank you!"

What should she do? Her husband didn't believe her, just sent her to see her doctor to adjust her medication dose. Everyone told her she was just imagining it. And sometimes she got weak and almost believed it herself. But whenever she saw him, the shadow, he was real. And she did not doubt. She knew even Tahomaru was able to see him earlier. Back when he was little. They even played together. But her husband had never seen him, so he didn't believe her. But for her it was proof that she wasn't insane. That's why she kept coming back and praying. To Kannon, the goddess of mercy, who allowed her a look in her infinite goodness. How he would look now. How big he would be. How it would have been. Her son. Her beloved older son. Each time his shape became clearer. And just now... she had touched him. Was that possible because the gods brought him back to life? Or was it rather she who slowly entered the world of the dead, the ghosts? She asked again and again to see him, was heard many times and it always tore her, plunged her into this endless sorrow. She felt that it was no good because the closer she got to her first child, the further away she got from her second. Tahomaru, her beloved younger son. She couldn't let go of either of them, but as long as she wavered between the two worlds, she was neither with one nor the other. What should she do?

"Papa." Kaname felt sick, but couldn't look away. Right after he woke up, the boy had gone to the bed where Jukai was sitting and staring impassively in front of him. Then Hyakkimaru had put his hands to his face and started rubbing his forehead against the man's. "Papa." What kind of gesture was that? Was it normal between the two of them, this familiarity? The boy whispered something he didn't understand and slowly, very slowly, Jukai raised his hands and put them around the boy's back. He hugged him and Kaname had the feeling of losing the ground beneath his feet as a mental wound that he had thought would have healed long ago tore open again. He couldn't remember Jukai ever holding him. As fast as he could, he left the room and locked himself in the staff bathroom. In the mirror he did not see a twenty-five year old man, he saw a crying little boy. "Papa..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello dear readership, I hope you are doing well. Huiuiui, in this chapter happened a lot at once, or am I imagining it? And yes, Kaname is actually Jukais son in this AU and I just made Okowa his mother. She just gave me the impression that she wasn't overly picky about men. :) See you next chapter and stay healthy <3
> 
> Sincerely yours
> 
> Otakuplant


	12. Vibes

Tahomaru was kind of exhausted. The exams were actually more exhausting than he had expected. Not difficult, but the time pressure made it hard. He wasn't worried that he would fail in any subject, but he also had expectations on himself. And anything below 95 points definitely did not meet this expectations! Should he repeat the subjects for tomorrow after dinner? He looked up from his plate at his mother, who was sitting across from him, taking tiny bites. Her mind was obviously elsewhere. His father was very busy right now and would eat later. Mutsu and Hyogo used to eat with them until last year, but the two of them had started running their household completely independently since then because, in Mutsus opinion, they were essentially adults who should take care for themselves. He couldn't help it, but since he had had dinner at Hyakkimarus on Sunday it felt strange that it was always so quiet here. Was it because he had no biological siblings? What would it have been like if his older brother had been born alive? Would he sit in his place because Tahomaru would never have been born or would they be here together and talk about the exams? Perhaps his mother's thoughts were similar and the reason she looked like she was about to burst into tears again. "Mother ... what are you thinking about?" He wished she would look at him, but when she raised her head she was looking in his direction, but she wasn't looking at him. It took a while before she answered. “Actually nothing... It's just ... the house has been so quiet since you grew..." It was like a pinprick, small and insignificant, but painful and anger boiled up in Tahomaru. Was it his fault now that there was no noise in the house, no life? Wasn't it enough that she ignored him most of the time? Did she have to put the responsibility on him now? A sting went through his right hand as he gripped the cutlery tightly and brought him back to his senses. It didn't help anyone if he got further into his anger. Concentrate, Tahomaru. Mutsu tried again and again to make it clear to him that his mother certainly didn't think that way. It was all due to her depression. Even if he basically knew that, his appetite was now gone. He was definitely just tired, he should go to his room, try to prepare for tomorrow's exams and then go to sleep. Maybe Mutsu could still help him a little. "I'm done. Good night, mother". She had lowered her head again. "Sleep well, my son."

She and Hyakkimaru had just come back from the hospital. In fact, she had brought Uncle Jukais hospital bag and picked up Hyakkimaru. Hopefully he will be better tomorrow and not forget his medication. Now she had to see that her Aniki ate and drank enough, the doctor had told her to do that. "Hey Aniki, do you want an omelette?" He dropped onto a kitchen chair with a heavy sigh and laid his head on his arms, obviously very exhausted. "Not hungry." Dororo groaned in annoyance. "Oh no, you have to eat something, you have anaemia. Or do you want to go back to the hospital?" He thought for a moment. "Omelette sounds good." Ah, there you go. "Well, then go take a quick shower, I'll get you new clothes and then get the food ready." Reluctantly, he got up and walked towards the bathroom while she ran past him to his room. And turned around in the door frame, screaming. "ANIKIIIIII, what the HELL happened in your room!?" He briefly covered his ears with his hands and then looked at her questioningly. "It looks like a slaughterhouse, it's all covered in blood!" Now he seemed to understand and pointed to his ears. "The stranger had a demon with him that was a sword, I broke it and can now hear." He looked somehow proud as he stood there and pulled a little at his ears like a grimacing child while Dororos mouth was open in disbelief. First, because she hadn't even noticed that he wasn't wearing hearing aids any more. How could she miss something like that? Second, that a demon had got into her big brother's room. Were they still safe in the house? And third, that Hyakkimaru didn't seem to care a bit! Her big brother would certainly be the death of her! Well, in any case it was now unequivocally clarified why he was suffering from anaemia. Beware if he didn't eat at least three omelettes ...

Tahomaru couldn't concentrate on chemistry, something else was on his mind. As soon as he entered school that morning he had heard the whispering. It was said that Yakonari-sensei suddenly had to travel for family reasons and that she would not return until after the summer vacation. Her fans were cruelly unhappy, but he felt a certain relief. Did that mean now that he would have peace from her? He did his best not to rub the plaster on his right palm. In the end, only the healing cuts would tear open again and he really couldn't use that now. Mutsu, who was sitting across from him on his desk chair and actually wanted to question him, gave him a stern look. "Tahomaru, if you can't concentrate I would recommend that you stop wasting both of our time and do something about it." He let himself fall back on his bed. "Please don't start like this again ... Did you hear that from Yakonari-sensei?" The expression on her face turned pensive. "Yes, I did. That's really a bit strange ... On the other hand, now you don't have to worry about it until September. It's reassuring to know that she's not around for the time being ... What`s the definition of light?" Was it really that easy? Ignore the whole thing until after the holidays? "Electromagnetic radiation." - "What spectrum of it can human eyes see?" - "Everything with a wavelength between 400 and 700 nanometres.  All the colours in this area add up to the colour white. " - " What else is influenced by the wavelength of the colour? " For the next ten minutes she asked one definition after the other, each one he could answer correctly. Mutsu lowered the book. "I would say you are prepared. How about if you just relax?" Tahomarus' first impulse was to contradict her. But actually he knew she was right. He could do it and there was no point in continuing. But relax on command? Again Mutsu seemed to read his mind. Sometimes she scared him. "You should call Hyakkimaru and talk to him a little bit. What about the contents of the box?" Tahomaru felt his ears warm. "Oh Taho-tan, no need to be ashamed. I'll tell you something now, an insider tip, so to speak. A good orgasm ensures deep relaxation and is actually not wrong, especially before exams, to get unnecessary thoughts out of your head. Believe me, I've been doing this for years and my marks have always been flawless." ... Had his older cousin just told him that she masturbated regularly and recommended he should do the same? "Besides-" Oh, she hadn't finished yet?! "- it is common knowledge that in particular the fifteen to eighteen year old`s have a very big sexual need, which in many cases prevents them from actually calming down. Well, enough for today, I'll go back and have a look to see if Hyogo needs help. He has big problems with analysis. See you tomorrow and sleep well." She did it on purpose. The only question was: What did she get out of trying to persuade him to masturbate? Did he even want to know? Probably not. He picked up his phone and called Hyakkimaru. Hopefully he just has some time for him. Even if only to distract him a little. 

Blood smelled strange, like some kind of metal, and it made him feel sick. Do doctors feel sick all day too? He and Dororo had eaten and she hadn't given any rest until he had finished eating everything she had put in front of him. Perhaps that was why he had this uncomfortable feeling in his stomach. He was sure that he had never eaten so much at once in his life. Not that he didn't like the food, it was just too much. Now they were sitting together on the floor in his room, scrubbing the blood from the seams. More precisely, he worked the floorboards with the sponge until Dororo told him he had to go left or right now. Meanwhile she had packed everything that was washable in the machine and was now wiping his furniture. The warm night air came in through the wide open window and slowly displaced the oppressive smell of blood. He was bored, cleaning really was a dull thing. He would have loved to listen to music, but too much noise gave him still a headache. It all sounded different now, clearer, and he could hear more than before. There were now these many soft tones that resulted in a steady background noise. Was it ever really quiet at all? Before that, when he wanted some peace and quiet, he simply took off his hearing aids. How did other people do that? Did they just ignore that? Then he heard his cell phone ring in the kitchen and Dororo ran off. "Wait, I'll get it!" It was definitely Tahomaru. His heart was beating a little faster. Would his voice sound different now? The ringtone had stopped when Dororo came back into the room. "That was Tahomaru. And I just got it, how are you going to explain to him about the hearing aids?" ... Yes, Tahomaru did not know that he gets parts of his body from the demons if he killed them. Would he understand? He'd had trouble accepting demons at all. Even if Tahomaru was acting calm and probably thought he hadn't noticed: Hyakkimaru had definitely sensed his boyfriend's uncertainty and confusion. Which gave him another thought: When he met Tahomaru last night, there had been red marks on his right hand. Thoughts about today's red thing also went through his head. After he had destroyed the object, the stranger was free of any red. So could demons take possession of any person and leave them again without a trace? How could he check that? He would have to wait until he met Tahomaru again so that he could take a closer look at his hand. Until then he wouldn't tell him anything, he didn't have to know, it would only unsettle him again. Dororo was still waiting for his answer. "I'm not telling him. I don't want to tell him what happened today either. Otherwise he'll be worried." The girl didn't seem convinced. "Then why is Uncle Jukai in the hospital?" Yes, there he needed an explanation. "Feeling faint?" - "So you want to lie to your boyfriend?" Lying? "I'm not telling anything wrong. I just don't say everything. Papa is weak right now, isn't he?" No, it wasn't a lie. "Aniki, how long have you been so oversubtle? Well, you have to know, after all, he`s your lover. But honestly, I don't think that's okay. I would want to know if I were him." - "Why? You can't change anything and you'd only be sad." Why did everyone want to know the things that made them unhappy? "Yes, but if you always keep everything to yourself, it makes me even sadder." Dororo didn't seem to want to talk about it anymore because she turned away and cleaned his piano. It didn't make sense to him. Was that something else that he might eventually understand when he was complete? He stuck to it, he wouldn't tell him anything about it for now. With this decision he dialled Tahomarus number and waited for the other to answer it. 

Hyakkimaru didn't have time today. He still had to tidy up with Dororo, because Jukai had to spend the night in the hospital. Whatever one had to do with the other. Sometimes he really didn't understand the other's logic. Tahomaru had to admit that it disappointed him a bit, but he couldn't help it and wished the man a speedy recovery. After he and Hyakkimaru had talked to each other G-rated for a while, a long, possibly somewhat cheesy farewell followed. Dororo was already making choking noises in the background when Tahomaru hung up and then tossed and turned in bed indecisively. Should he really do this? Finally he gave up and took the box out of the closet. Even if he tried to learn for another subject instead, it would be pointless. He couldn't think of anything else but that stupid box. Time to get it over with. Almost in high spirits, he emptied the entire contents on his bed and looked at the jumble of squeaky-coloured boxes with ... things ... and ... parts of which he had no idea what they were supposed to be. He reached for some packaging, eventually he had to start somewhere. It said "Prostate Vibrator". There was such a thing? ... Where was the prostate again and what was it doing? His gaze wandered over the other items that were scattered on his bed and in fact most of them seemed to be for... internal use. However, among the many phallus-like things there were also some that he would never have suspected in a box of sex toys. Disposable gloves, for example. But yes, when he thought about it like that, or at least tried to, it made perfect sense. The real purpose of the anus was different, after all. Tahomaru already knew that male homosexuality mostly implied anal intercourse, he wasn't completely ignorant. After all, what was the Internet made for? But how did >>man<< even know if he was having fun at this? Just try it out, right? How did Hyakkimaru feel about it by the way? He probably had no idea about it, so all the research would hang on him in that regard. Ah, then one more principle occurred to him that Mutsu had taught him: Pornographic material is not a manual! He thought for a moment about the few movies he had seen illicitly before and did his best to ignore how his pulse quickened. It got always very fast to the point, the position was often changed quickly and condoms were never used, which was an absolute violation of rule number one. But that didn't interest Tahomaru very much right now, because he felt the heat rising inside him and gathering at a certain place. The images from the porn clips were superimposed on his memories of the previous night. Hyakkimaru laying beneath him, long hair framing his handsome face like a doll's. A red shimmer had crept over the fair pale skin in many places and uncontrolled sighs and moans were heard from his mouth. They had rubbed their erections together in Hyakkimarus tight grip and then surrendered to climax. How would it have been if they had done it differently? Would Hyakkimaru have allowed Tahomaru to penetrate him? Or would he himself have sat down on his lover's hard cock, felt him within himself? How did that even work? Tahomarus hand went onto his crotch as if by itself, feeling the hardness that pressed uncomfortably against the fabric from the inside. A shiver ran through him and he licked his lips as he opened his zip and slowly ran his fingers over his erection, massaging it gently. Hmmm, maybe he could just try it out? His breathing quickened at the thought. Yes, he would now find out for himself whether he liked anal intercourse or not. And even if he didn't like it, at least he knew what he might ask Hyakkimaru for. Or maybe not. Because there were still rules number four: “Only what feels good for everyone involved is also good” and five: “Sex is not just penetration.” While he was undressing, he tried to scrape together everything he ever heard and might be helpful to him now despite his mind clouded with lust. Um, something about hygiene. Logical. He had bathed after dinner, was that enough? Better to play it safe and use the gloves. His cousin surely had a reason putting them into the box. His eyes fell on a tube. "Lubricant". Yes, he remembered that a lot of it had to be used. Because as Mutsu once put it in her matter-of-fact manner: An anus doesn't work like a vulva. Perhaps it was also better if he put something under his ass? Who knew how liquid lube was? When he bent his legs and spread them slightly, he felt somehow exposed even though he was alone. While he pushed a couple of handkerchiefs under his bum, he felt the heat on his cheeks and his shame almost made him give it up. Could he really do that? Touch himself like that? Wasn't that somehow ... unmanly? ... Had he really asked himself that question? He felt defiance rise within him. He had decided to do this, so he would go through with it now, regardless of whether it fit into the male self-image or not! Even if just to know how it might feel for Hyakkimaru. He pulled one of the disposable medical gloves over his left hand and pressed some gel onto his fingers before carefully feeling his way down the perineum under his testicles. Even if the material felt somehow strange, the touch itself didn't feel bad at all and he began to run his fingers with light pressure over this unexpectedly sensitive area. Mutsus rule number seven: Always start slow and gentle. It will get ardent by itself if you please. His right hand wandered over his body, sometimes his fingernails left faint marks on his skin and even though it was warm, goose bumps formed on his body. A pleasant sigh escaped him and he wished Hyakkimaru were here to kiss him. He licked his lips, by the gods, how much he wanted the other to be with him right now. Suddenly he sucked in a sharp breath and opened his eyes wide. The ring of muscle that he had just been massaging suddenly gave way and his finger had penetrated him quite a bit. It was a strange feeling, but not uncomfortable at all. Panting, he began to move his finger carefully. Gradually it got better and better and he loosened up, stretches, his finger could move deeper. He applied more of the cool gel, the temperature difference causing a shiver to run through his body. His eyes had closed, he wanted to concentrate fully on this sensation. He wanted more. His middle finger moved next to his index finger, carefully making its way inside his body, pulling back only to penetrate again. And when the fingers moved inside him, they hit something. Yes, for everything that was sacred, YES! A loud groan escaped him and he quickly closed his mouth with his right hand. Hopefully no one had heard that. He curled his fingers again and yes, that indescribable feeling flooded through him again, better than anything he had known before. Was that his prostate then? If his little caress felt so good, how about a vibrator with its short, quick little bumps? Or what if Hyakkimaru first moved his fingers inside him and then inserted his hard dick? Tahomaru bit his lip so as not to groan loudly again, while he continued massaging and caressing himself and his imagination blossomed wildly behind his closed lids. Would he enter him carefully, move slowly and tenderly in his tightness and elicit a hoarse sigh? Would he lean over him, kiss him meanwhile, let his hot tongue run over him, lick his nipples? Or how about Hyakkimaru taking him from behind? Ramming his big cock into him hard and fast, rubbing against that wonderful point in him, making him scream and cum hard? Or how would it feel when he rode Hyakkimaru? Felt how he moved deep inside him while he was in control? His penis twitched and although completely untouched the milky liquid that had mixed with Hyakkimarus on his body last night poured out. It was an orgasm unlike any other Tahomaru had in his young life and when he slowly came back to his senses, he had the feeling that he actually felt a piece of heaven. Yes, he could recommend that to his lover without any problems. And yes, he definitely liked it too ...

Dororos fingers swiped wildly on the tablet. She opened Internet sites, closes others, entered names, and crossed unsuspicious establishments from her list. She slowly figured out which love hotels were promising. Firstly, no large chains, which were often managed by internationally operating companies. Second, it had to be hotels that also offered "escort", because the woman had spoken of "her girls". Third, inconsistencies in the imprint. That didn't limit the choices as much as she'd hoped, but it was still a big step forward. Hyakkimaru lay next to her in her bed, sleeping like a rock. Somehow she envied him for it. Because no matter how terrible the monsters he fought were; no matter how badly he was injured and how much blood flowed; he never had a nightmare. When she thought about it like that, she wasn`t sure if he even knew fear. Was it because he was isolated from most of the senses for so long? Until two weeks ago he hadn't even felt pain. That sounded kind of wrong. Someone who knows neither fear nor pain will do everything possible to get to know it. The other way around, how many people would try to banish both from their existence forever? An existence without pain and fear, that sounded like heaven. But what kind of heaven was it when there was no light, no touch, no taste, no scents, no warmth? Wasn't it more like hell then? As always when she thought about such complicated things, she realized how limited her imagination was. What was it like not feeling anything? Did she even want to know? >>You cannot change anything and you would be sad.<< Yes, it made her sad. But that didn't mean she couldn't do anything. She averted her gaze from Hyakkimaru and continued searching. What would you Aniki get back next?

If you don't do everything yourself! Were even demons incompetent these days?! Kagemitsu wanted to smash something in anger. With every demon that fell, it got worse. The companies in which he was involved only made losses. His approval ratings in the party and in the public sank steadily. The health of his wife got worse and worse. And now also this investigation process due to "tax inconsistencies". He was barely able to prevent this information from reaching the public, but how much longer could he do that? The only one who wasn't causing him any problems at the moment was his son Tahomaru. But even that was only half true. The messages from this demon regularly reminded him that the pact he had made at the time was falling apart and that she was ready to take care of it at a reasonable price. Did the rest of them actually act that stupid? Could it really be that hard to get rid of a blind cripple? Should he try to initiate something himself to remove this danger for himself and his family from the world? How could he do that? His options were currently limited, he was under surveillance and if something went wrong nothing or no one would be able to stop his decline. Then everything would have been in vain and his life would collapse like a house of cards. No, he would find a way. Maybe he could try using some old contacts. He remembered a name that had aroused awe in certain circles over sixteen years ago. Maybe he was still in business? The so-called "Internist".

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, dear readership, are you okay? So by now everyone should have noticed that good Mutsu in this AU is totally sex-positive. And in all likelihood a Fujoshi ... And Tahomaru ... Yes ... I don't know how that happened either ... Lalalalala ~
> 
> By the way, anal intercourse is a somewhat more complex theme, my (very free) portrayal of Taho's little self-care (and everything else related to this topic, ahem) is greatly simplified. Please don`t hate me. <3 Oh, and before we get each other wrong: I don't see any classic dom / sub dynamic (or however you want to call it) between Hyakki and Taho, as both are strong characters, albeit in different ways. To me, in this story they're just two love-mad, hormone-driven teenagers who discover physical love with each other and do what feels right and good in a self-confident and self-determined manner. And to be honest, I've been a Fujoshi for half my life by now (God, I'm old!) and I've NEVER seen a couple who screamed for Riba like that! Every person is of course free to have a different opinion :) <3 Peace, bassd scho*.
> 
> This whole fan fiction is like a roller coaster at the moment, it goes up and down and back and forth. I hope this doesn't get too confusing.
> 
> Stay healthy and save
> 
> Sincerely yours
> 
> Otakuplant
> 
> P.S .: I dedicate this chapter to my neighbour, with whom I have always had very good conversations about fanfictions and to whom I owe the following (very sarcastic) sentence: "Anal sex without lubricant works soooooooooo well." * rolls eyes*
> 
> * “bassd scho” = Everything is allright/ no problem at all.


	13. Merging

Friday crept by and the heat grew oppressive. Hyakkimaru, who felt these summer temperatures for the first time wondered, firstly, why one had to wear clothes even in such heat and secondly, why anyone would leave the house during the day. His habit of preferably going for a walk at night now seemed very sensible. And yet he was out with Dororo to pick up Jukai from the hospital, luckily in an air-conditioned taxi. He found air conditioning really interesting, but unfortunately Dororo couldn't explain to him how they worked and so he hoped his Papa would tell him when he was better. He looked at the man next to him who hadn't said a word yet. The doctor had said that there was nothing more they could do for him in the hospital, but that he would soon be his old self again. Hyakkimaru and Dororo had tried to understand what was wrong with Jukai and the doctor tried to explain it as simply as possible. According to her, he was stuck in a bad memory and has not yet found out of it. But he just needed a lot of rest and a little time, but how long she couldn't tell them. After they got out of the vehicle it took a while for them to reach the door, because Jukai moved very slowly and when they got inside, Dororo wanted to persuade him to have a drink first. But the man ignored her and walked at a snail's pace up the hall to Hyakkimarus room. There he stopped in front of the open door and continued to stare into space. The girl didn't know what to do, so she stuck to Hyakkimaru. At first he didn't do anything, he seemed to be thinking. Then he motioned for her to follow him and together they walked towards Jukai. He led her small hands to Jukais side, where she closed her fingers around his large hand and held it with light pressure. She felt that he was trembling slightly, but she didn't let go. She would hold on him. Then Hyakkimaru went to his room and turned fully to his father. "Papa." Jukai didn't react, Hyakkimaru took a step towards him. "Papa, look. I'm fine." The tremor grew stronger. One more step. "Papa, see what I can do now." He took off the now useless hearing aids that he had worn today only because of habit. Jukais hands began to twitch, cold sweat had formed on the palm. Dororo didn't let go. One more step, he was almost directly in front of him. "A demon was here, but it's gone and I can hear properly now. I can hear you now, Papa." With these words he took the man's other hand in his and closed his fingers around the hearing aid, then rubbed their foreheads together again. "Thanks for your help, Papa." And the trembling subsided. "Hyakkimaru ..."

He had to think of something really good for Mutsus birthday. And for New Years. And Christmas. And Valentine's Day. And every other celebration in the world at which someone received presents. But later. For the moment he was busy enough not to melt. Yes, it was mid-July. But 40°Celsius? That wasn't normal! He stood in front of the school's exit door, undecided. What should he do with the rest of the day? His classmates still avoided him, Mutsu had lectures, Hyogo a few more hours. Maybe Hyakkimaru had time and... wanted... Damn it, the heat really didn't make his hormonal exceptional state any better. The phone rang long before the other answered. "Hello Tahomaru." He got goosebumps from how much he had missed Hyakkimaru. "Hey, how are you? Is your father getting better?" - "Yes, he's back home. But he has to sleep a lot ... I want to meet you, come here, please." Yes, Small talk really wasn't his forte. But who cares? "Sure, I'll be there as soon as possible." - "I`m waiting." And then the connection was gone again. Tahomaru was struggling to stay relaxed. Hyakkimaru wasn't home alone, which highly reduced the chances of even just kissing him. So, he had to go home, get changed, and then get to Hyakkimaru. Was there still time for ... pressure reduction measures? Well, that wasn't really a question, he just had to take the time, otherwise he certainly wouldn't get through the afternoon without awkward situations. In any case, it wouldn't be wrong if he got into the shower again. Hyakkimaru had no sense of time anyway, half an hour more made no difference. He was walking to the bicycles when he thought he saw someone standing at the window out of the corner of his eye. A woman with long black hair and a doctor's smock staring at him. But when he looked there was no one. Despite the heat, a shiver ran down his spine, because the feeling of being watched didn't go away. His hand itched. Was he imagining things?

They had just set up the paddling pool in the garden when the doorbell rang. Ah right, Aniki said Tahomaru would come by. She put the garden hose in Hyakkimarus hand and ran to let their visitor in. "Hey Ahomaru, Aniki is already eeeee~agerly waiting for you!" She couldn't help it, she just had to tease him with it. The boy grimaced slightly at the unloved nickname she had given him and entered. "Thank you Dodoro. How are you?" The girl was irritated. Had he just given her a nickname too? "Uh, thanks... what did you just call me?" - "Dodoro, like the Dodo." She blinked in confusion. Dodo, what was that? Tahomaru seemed to have noticed her confusion and explained with a broad grin. "The Dodo is an extinct bird with a fairly large beak. I think that's appropriate." Oh ... well, that was fair! Because whoever was dishing out had to be able to take it too. She grinned back now and grabbed his hand. "Alright, but come on now! We have a paddling pool!" And pulled him behind her through the hallway that ran through the entire house and ended in a patio door. In the garden, Hyakkimaru was already sitting in the pool, still fully dressed, mind you, and letting the water run over his head from the hose. Oh dear, hopefully he hadn't forgotten that he had to play the deaf if he hadn't clamped the hearing aids on. But when she looked at Tahomaru again because he had stopped abruptly on the porch, she realized that he probably wouldn't pay any attention to that. The idiot stared at her Aniki as if he was something to eat and he himself was about to starve. She looked back at Hyakkimaru and tried for a moment to understand why. Yes, he looked good, she knew that too. The wet clothes stuck to him, as did his long hair ... No, she really didn't get it. Always the big ones with their strange urges. Would it be the same for her one day? She hoped not. Because the way Ahomaru was standing there and gazing at her Aniki, he looked extremely stupid. She decided to teach him a lesson and quickly grabbed the garden hose. And aimed it at Tahomaru, who awoke from his stupor, hit by the cold water, and cried out in shock. "WHOA!" He stumbled back into the house and disappeared from her field of vision. "YOU LITTLE-! WHAT'S THAT FOR?!" Well, that's what he got out of it! The girl laughed up her sleeve before she felt Hyakkimarus hand on her head. She didn't have to look up at him to know what look he was giving her. She knew his wordless way of chiding her too well by now. "Pah, it's his own fault if he stares at you like that!" He didn't answer her, but went to the glass door, probably to Tahomaru. She made a face and now let the water run over her head. Stupid Aniki ...

He found Tahomaru right next to the patio door tapping something in his hand, probably his phone. Ah right, they weren't allowed to get wet. "Is it broken?" The other responded with a relieved sigh. "No, luckily not. Can I put it somewhere? My clothes are soaking wet." - "Yes, put it in my room." He pointed to the door behind him. "Good, thank you." He opened the door and motioned for Tahomaru to follow him who then put the phone on the next best free space and looked around his room for a while. What was he thinking about? He took the opportunity to look at the other's hand. The red marks had faded, but weren`t gone. He should keep observing it. "You have a lot of plants here. It almost looks like in a greenhouse." Tahomaru laughed. "Do you play the piano?" Ah, so that interested him? Although he found the question pointless. Would he have a piano in the room if he wasn't playing? He just nodded and walked the short distance between them to embrace Tahomaru. He missed him. His smell. His warmth. His voice. His taste. Tahomaru seemed to feel the same way, because he already leaned against him and began to kiss him slowly. Hyakkimaru was somewhat irritated that he was so halting to do so. He wanted more. His tongue brushed his boyfriend's lips, asking that he come towards him. Finally he opened his mouth and the two hot muscles played around each other, alternately pushing and retreating, penetrating and allowing entry. Hands brushed over and under damp clothing that was gradually drying on their bodies because it was so hot. When Tahomaru gave a quiet sigh, Hyakkimaru regretfully let go of him. They couldn't do more here, Papa and Dororo were both home. Not that it bothered him, but he knew that both of them would be uncomfortable if they noticed how he was doing "more" with Tahomaru. The other seemed disappointed but did not protest. Of course he knew why it wasn't working now and was therefore halting from the start. "Ahem ..." He felt Tahomaru startle at the sound of Dororos voice. His little sister was standing in the doorway looking somehow ... unsure? "Hey, well, sorry about earlier. If you like, you can go for a walk a bit and I'll stay and take care of Uncle Jukai ... And yes, I've been standing here for a few seconds, so save yourself the question, Ahomaru!" Addressed one trembled slightly in his embrace with tension. It must have been very uncomfortable for him. "So if you want to go, then now, before I change my mind! Aniki, don't forget your phone! See you later!" And then she was gone. Well, then they could find another place to continue. Whereby, maybe they could do something else? There was a place he had wanted to go for a long time. "Tahomaru, let's go to the sea." The other didn't answer, but instead pressed his face into his shoulder. He felt the heat emanating from him. "How can you stay so relaxed when your little sister has watched us kissing? Aren't you ashamed of anything?" Oh, that again. What were other people ashamed of about every little thing? He wasn't sure at all whether he even wanted to know this feeling better. "It seems so. Papa always says that I have no shame." Tahomaru seemed to calm down, he just mumbled, "Why am I even asking?" before he broke away from him and answered his previous question. "Alright, let's go to the sea."

It was amazingly easy to take Hyakkimaru along on his pannier rack. First and foremost, because he was actually very light. Tahomaru wasn't sure, but if he had had to guess, his boyfriend might even be on the verge of underweight. Or was it because of the prostheses? In any case, he weighed less than him even though they were the same size. They were lucky because none of the policemen whose path they were crossing stopped them. In the heat, they probably didn't feel like doing more than necessary. Despite the exertion, the wind made the way much more pleasant than it could have been by bus or on foot and it felt good that his beloved was holding on to him. When they got to the coast, Hyakkimaru just stood there for a while, listening while Tahomaru parked his bike. And then he noticed. Where were the hearing-aids? He thought the other was completely deaf? He was about to ask when Hyakkimaru looked at him directly with his blind glass eyes and put a forefinger to his lips. As if he knew what to say, he leaned close to his ear and whispered to him, "Not now." And it was fine, he accepted it. Like the fact that he saw without eyes. It was just like that. Afterwards they walked slowly along the beach for a while, other people ran past them. Hyakkimaru had taken off his shoes at some point and dug the toes of his right foot deep into the sand. And Tahomaru noticed something else: How much the other enjoyed the simplest things, as if he was experiencing them for the first time. There was a childlike ease in the movements, an engaging curiosity about everything that was around him. Was it because Hyakkimaru didn't see things the way he did? He closed his eyes and tried to block out the images that tried to form in his head with every sound. There were so many seagulls overhead, yelling at each other. Again and again other peoples voices came closer and got farther away, now and then a child's laugh. From further out he heard the thunder of the sea against the breakwaters. He could taste salt in the air and feel it getting a little cooler towards the water. Hands suddenly fell on his cheeks and a forehead pressed against his. "Thank you for being with me." Tahomaru couldn't remember the last time he was so happy.

It was late afternoon when they started back. But Tahomaru headed for a slightly different goal. Hyakkimaru had previously said in his disarming sincerity that he did not want to go home now, but wanted to be alone with him. While he whispered these words to him, his hands had wandered lightly along his sides, pulling on the fabric of his clothes as if he wanted to take them off. So they drove towards the train station, there were certainly enough love hotels there. Tahomaru checked in for them in silence at the first hotel they found, while Hyakkimaru began to press close to him, his lips coming temptingly close to his face. The younger one was still able to resist, dragging the other into the booked room after him. When the door locked behind them, there was no stopping them. They wanted each other so badly, it really hurt. Skin rubbed against skin very quickly, fingers drew lines over sensitive areas. Lips, tongues and teeth danced together and clashed, explored other parts of the body, seized particularly sensitive areas. Sucked, licked, bit. Left traces that no one else should ever see. It was a secret between both of them, sealed with expectant sighs and lustful moans. They didn't have to be quiet or hold back anything. And they could try new things. At some point Tahomaru had slipped far down Hyakkimarus body, leaving a trail of kisses. The artificial hands that stroked his scalp almost questioningly moved more and more twitchy when their owner got an idea of what the other was doing. Tahomarus fingers and lips ran lightly along the hard shaft and he inhaled this strangely heavy, bitter smell. And he began to move his open mouth on the heated flesh, let his tongue wander. Hyakkimaru struggled to keep his hips steady. It felt so good, the breath, the warmth. And too quickly he felt his orgasm coming and breaking over him. He fell and every drop was absorbed in this wonderful heat. When he finally noticed his surroundings again after a short eternity he heard Tahomaru, who had his now soft member still in his mouth and was licking it, moaning with relish. But at the same time he was doing something else that Hyakkimaru couldn't make out what it was. There was a noise he couldn't place, it sounded kind of wet. What was Tahomaru doing now that he could enjoy so much? He grabbed the other's head, guided him up and when he kissed him, he could taste his own sperm out of Tahomarus mouth. It was bitter and he didn't really like anything bitter. But it was different from Tahomarus' lips, his tongue... sort of... delicious? He had no word for what it triggered in him, it made him ... restless ... wild ... hungry? It was more than just excitement and immediately more blood rushed back into his penis which began to throb again. How much more could he take without falling apart? Then Tahomaru asked a question in the tiny space between their lips. "I want to try something. May I?"

He hoped so much that Hyakkimaru said yes. Ever since he'd satisfied himself with his own fingers yesterday, he'd wanted to know. He wanted to feel him, become one with him, to merge with him. "Yes, do. I trust you." Ah, those words! They directly elicited a hoarse sigh from him. By now he had inserted two fingers and was gently moving them back and forth, but didn't dare touch his prostate. He wanted to enjoy it as long as it was possible. His hard member throbbed, demanded attention, but he pulled himself together. He had other plans. His fingers left his opening briefly and he applied more lube, Hyakkimaru watched him carefully, licked his lips, but said nothing while he ran his own hands almost absently over their two bodies, caressing them both. Did he really understand what he was doing? The golden light of the evening sun fell through the thinly curtained window and completely immersed the boy under him in his colour. How beautiful Hyakkimaru was, just this sight sent an additional tingling sensation through his body. Now his third finger had penetrated him too, he hadn't gone that far before and he could feel it now. He let out a low cry of pain, but Hyakkimaru reacted immediately. He straightened up under him and brought his face close to his own. "Tahomaru ... If it hurts you, I don't want it ..." How much he loved him. The pain gave way to pleasure again and he answered panting: "No, it's not bad, I want it this way." The other seemed sceptical, but accepted it again and fell back into the pillow. Tahomaru could see that Hyakkimarus member had already straightened up to its full size again and he moved his fingers a little further. Ah, this feeling! In a moment he would know what it really was like to have the other within him. His own penis almost ached, lost single drops untouched and Tahomarus body trembled with excited tension. Finally he felt ready. His hand briefly reached over to the end table at the head of the bed and yes, there were condoms there. He tore open a package and rolled the condom over the hard penis of his lover, who briefly caught his breath. Tahomaru gave the coated tip another quick kiss and applied lube, Hyakkimaru gave a slight twitch. Probably because of the coolness of the gel that ran down all sides. He positioned himself above him, his heart racing with excitement. And slowly sat down on the other.

Tight, oh god, that was TIGHT! And hot! Hyakkimaru never thought there was such a feeling! They merged, connected at the most sensitive parts of their bodies, he couldn't feel where he ended and Tahomaru began. Likewise in his sight, he couldn't see any dividing line, no differences in the pattern of their souls. They were one great being writhing around itself in lust. It felt so good. His feet braced against the mattress and his hips poked up as he screamed in bliss, in happiness. Tahomaru screamed too. Was that pain? He had to pull himself together for a moment, had to know if he had hurt him! Because he never wanted to hurt him. His body began to shake with tension as he forced himself to hold still and groped for Tahomaru. He heard his breathing, it sounded strained, as if he was suppressing something. A whimper? "Tahomaru?" His lover leaned slowly towards him, still breathing tightly. Hyakkimaru straightened up again and felt the connection between them disappear again, their union ending when his penis slipped out of Tahomaru. Oh, so he really was inside him. Tahomaru let go of the breath he had been holding tense until just now. He shivered as Hyakkimaru put his arms around him and hugged him tightly. "Did I hurt you?" The other didn't react, just held on and that scared him. "Tahomaru, if it hurts you we'll stop." - "No." He almost didn't hear it, he had spoken so softly. "I want this. I want you, so much." Hyakkimarus thoughts stood still for a moment before they overturned. Tahomaru wanted him so badly that he accepted pain for it. Yes, he knew that. Every time he got a part of his body back, he suffered, endured the agony it brought. Only in this way did he become complete, could really live and not just exist. And wasn't afraid of the next demon, the next fight, the next pain. Because what he received in exchange was definitely worth it. Even if he wasn't entirely sure whether these two situations were really comparable, he understood the principle. And he would love to grant Tahomaru his wish, but he didn't want him to suffer either. Suddenly he understood his family better, Papa and Dororo. They didn't want him to be in pain either, but they also knew that he wanted and needed his body. So this is what it felt like: to worry and still let him do. "Tahomaru. Tell me what to do."

He had expected it maybe wouldn't work. But he didn't expect it to be so painful. Probably because Hyakkimaru couldn't control himself for a moment and had penetrated him too quickly. Yes, porn really wasn't realistic. Part of him wanted to stop, was afraid. They didn't have to do that. But at the same time he knew that he would not flee from it. Because the far greater part of himself wanted to feel Hyakkimaru, now. The access to his body throbbed with pain and he reached there carefully. No, he probably wasn't hurt, but he had tightened again from the tension. His penis too had lost some of its hardness. It was best to start over ... He breathed in and out deeply to calm himself down, to relax. "... Give me your hand" Obediently, Hyakkimaru raised his right hand to him. "I will now apply lubricant to your hand. You will then... slowly... every time I say it... insert a finger into... me. Always one more... in and... Hah... out... "By the gods, saying it all out loud for Hyakkimaru was kind of embarrassing. And how much it increased his excitement again. He began to sigh with pleasure while he was speaking. It was like the time they had sex over the phone. Was that really just last Monday? He squeezed the tube tightly so that Hyakkimarus hand was completely covered in the gel before letting it fall to one side. "Always... very slowly. And you must... Ah... not bend your fingers, understood?" Hyakkimaru nodded, he was very close to him now, he could feel his hot breath on his lips. He backed away so that he was now on his back. Hyakkimaru followed, now leaning over him, between his legs. His long hair fell over his shoulders and tickled Tahomaru. "When your fingers... go in and out easily... you will insert your... hah... your penis... ahh... into me." He concentrated not to use dirty words. Hyakkimaru bowed his head and breathed in his ear: "And then?" Oh to hell with that! "And then you will fuck me! Now do it!" Tahomaru almost screamed when he bent his legs and opened them wide so that the other would get to his sensitive hole more easily. From his hard cock came drops of precum, which slowly ran down the shaft. He was beyond salvation, laid legs spread like a whore and begged for the other to take him. Hyakkimaru fumbled a little, but then he found it. The fact that he proceeded so carefully touched Tahomaru as much as it frustrated him, but he had no more opportunity to hurry him, because the first finger was already in him. Ah, YES! MORE! He was probably not as tight as he thought, because after a short time Hyakkimaru had inserted three fingers at his plead and Tahomaru was moaning harder than ever before. His penis pulsed with his own racing heartbeat. That feeling of being touched so deeply by a loved one. How his opening was stretched and got wider and wider. That rubbing of fingers that weren't his own. It felt so good! He wanted more! He wanted his cock! Apparently he had said that out loud, for the fingers disappeared from him and were replaced by something thicker. Slowly, almost agonizingly, Hyakkimaru pushed his length in and Tahomaru felt himself fill up. His heart contracted in his chest, it was as if his soul itself was vibrating, fluttering like the flapping of a little bird's wings. He couldn't utter a sound now and clung trembling to Hyakkimaru, who was breathing haltingly above him and probably holding back with all his might not to move too hastily within him again. His own penis and testicles rubbed between their bodies as he got used to this strange hardness inside him. He felt it, he was so close to cum, but he pulled himself together with all his might. Because they were connected to each other now, as close as two people could be. And he didn't want it to end yet. He didn't want it to end at all. More. He wanted more, although maybe he couldn't stand it. A bitter-sweet sensation ran through with his pulse for which he had no word. He was incredibly happy and yet also infinitely sad at the same time. Troubled and vulnerable, he managed only a whisper: "Move."

It was like singing together. Throaty breathing, sighing, groaning, humming and so many more sounds for which Hyakkimaru knew no words resulted in a melody that touched him deeply. It was a song about desire, love, devotion, lust and, very weakly, a little sadness. It was so beautiful, Hyakkimaru was sure that he was crying, even if he didn't feel it. Because he had to concentrate, listen carefully. The different tones of Tahomaru guided him, led him through this wonderful new sensation. And at the same time he did his best not to orgasm immediately. Because the feeling of how his penis was enveloped again and again by Tahomarus hot body was absolutely incomparable and he wasn't sure how long he would stand it. It was just too beautiful, heavenly, overwhelming. Tahomarus hands touched him all over his body, caressed the now sweaty skin and he thought he was melting with rapture. The others legs were wrapped around his body, keeping them close together. His instinct advised him to pay some attention to the other's penis. Tahomaru hadn't said anything about it, but if he didn't want it, he would certainly know. So he shifted his weight, leaned on one hand next to the body below him in order to reach him better, but through the changed angle he seemed to hit something in the other, because Tahomaru suddenly arched his back, clawed into it his shoulders and cried out in exaltation. And with an unexpected force he came towards him, rolled them both around so that he was now sitting on his hip and Hyakkimarus penis penetrated deeper into Tahomaru through the weight on him. "HYA-AAH-AAHHHH! THERE! MORE!" Tahomaru moved on top of him, fast, wild, uncontrolled. He grabbed the other's penis, massaged it as best he could and hold to Tahomarus hip with the other hand. His own voice almost cracked as he blissfully screamed for the other. "TAHO! AH! HAAAAAAHHH" He could hardly breathe, the feeling was so intense. "YES! THERE! AHHH!" The younger leaned back, tensed all the muscles of his body and his penis was literally massaged. And then the knot in his chest burst, he poured himself twitching into this wonderful depth while Tahomarus sperm spread over his body and he had the feeling of losing consciousness with happiness. He was so hot, his breathing was incredibly fast and his heart was racing as if he had run. He felt a kind of pulling in his testicles that somehow felt like "empty". Before he sank into the leaden, comforting blackness, he noticed how Tahomaru lay down on him, breathing heavily, pressing himself firmly against him with a racing pulse. His penis softened, but the other one probably didn't even think of getting up from him. He put his arms around him. Yes, that's how he wanted to stay...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello dear readership, nice that you made it this far. I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Yes? Please say yes <3 <3 <3
> 
> By the way, it's half time, middle of the story. I hope you have entertained enough so far that there is interest in the second half of the story. <3
> 
> Sincerely yours
> 
> Otakuplant


	14. Dial Back

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (!) Trigger Warnings: Gore, attempted suicide, attempted murder-suicide (extended suicide), depession, ableism

He startled and didn't know where he was at first. Something was making quite a noise, but it was a sound he couldn't identify. Like a large cloth been beaten back and forth. In addition, a choked voice, a hammering like on wood. And there was a pretty strong wind blowing in the room. What happens here? There came no more daylight through the window, only a slight colouration of the sky indicated that the sun had probably set recently. Someone breathed stertorously in this unbelievable noise. It was so dark, he needed light! He reached up next to him, there had to be light somewhere?! His fingers found a switch and what he could see in the dimmed light made his blood run cold. There was a huge moth and it was pressing Hyakkimaru against the wall! He tried to defend himself, but two insect arms closed around his throat and he had to hold on to them so as not to suffocate. His right leg tried to find support, but the floor was too far away and so it just hit the wall again and again. Where was the other leg? Tahomaru awoke from his paralysis. He had to help him! His gaze caught a chair on the other side of the room and he rushed towards it, grabbed it and hit the moth-like thing from the side. It wasn't effective, but enough that it dropped Hyakkimaru and turned to face him. Oh shit! The legs grabbed him now, sharp chitin bored into his skin like claws and threw him to the ground. This monster leaned above him, brought its strangely human face close to his and a distorted voice rang out. "Youuuu, what are youuuuu doing here?" Had that thing just spoken?! Before he could think of anything else, he heard a clanking, clacking screech and a torrent of blood rained down on him. The monster moth twisted and Tahomaru could see that Hyakkimaru was clutching its back and stabbing it there. With a blade that protruded straight from his prosthetic arm. The huge moth fell silent and fell to the side, where it twitched a little, tried helplessly to flap its oversized wings and then lay motionless. The thick substance spread in a large pool, Tahomaru felt sick. And next to the dead insect monster sat Hyakkimaru, breathing heavily, with only one leg and a long blade on his right hand. His whole body was smeared with the dead monster's blood. Tahomaru had no idea what had just happened here, his thoughts stood still. He felt a sting on various parts of his body and looked down at himself. Everywhere where the giant insect's legs had bored into his skin, his own blood leaked and he noticed that he too was covered over and over with the monster's strange, viscous blood. As if he had bathed in it. He raised his hand because he wanted to feel one of the wounds, but it was shaking so badly that he let his hand sink again. Despite his heavy breathing, the other looked strangely calm and through some sort of hidden mechanism he retracted the blade into his arm as if it had never been there. At this sight, Tahomaru's mind slowly began to work again. So that was a demon? "Tahomaru, go, quickly." What? Why? Wasn't it over yet? Wasn't that thing dead? He focused on the "corpse" and noticed that it was slowly disintegrating into shiny dust, fine as powder. The strange blood on him and Hyakkimaru also became this stuff and it looked like someone had pelted them with glitter. It was a remarkably disturbing sight. Flesh, blood and glitter. "Please trust me, go!" Hyakkimaru had slipped away from him a little, but the missing prosthetic leg made it difficult for him. Why did he move away from him? Suddenly he stopped in his movements and simply fell over, eyes and mouth wide open, but no sound came out. This sight freed Tahomaru from his stupor and he was with him as quickly as he could. Was he hurt? "Hey, are you alright?! Hyakkimaru!" He laid there twitching, it looked almost like an epileptic fit. Should he call an ambulance? Suddenly the twitching turned into a thumping and broken screams left Hyakkimarus mouth. His back arched at an impossible angle and he rolled onto his side, tears streaming from his wide, blind eyes. A hand had grabbed Tahomarus forearm, holding him with incredible strength. With his other hand he clutched his neck with awkward movements, as if trying to grab something. But he only got hold of skin and with horror Tahomaru watched as something shifted, bent, deformed on Hyakkimarus back, made the skin stretch and finally tear. Meanwhile the other had curled up, screamed in inconceivable agony, when something that looked like bones was loosening between bleeding shreds of skin from tendons and muscles and slowly peeling out. It was a spine that burst out of Hyakkimarus back, accompanied by sickening, smacking noises. With the sound of the tearing string of a musical instrument, the individual segments suddenly jumped apart, spreading across the room like the pearls of a broken chaplet. And in the gaping, bleeding crack, which now ran the entire length of his upper body, new bones formed as if in fast motion, connected with the associated tendons and muscles, closed over defenceless nerve tracts. Finally the skin grew together over this bloody mass. Except for red streaks down the whole back and blood-stuck hair on the neck, absolutely nothing pointed to the disturbing spectacle that Tahomaru was witness to here. Hyakkimarus screams had ceased, but his breathing was still quick and jerky. The hand that had been clutching Tahomarus forearm all the time trembled and finally let go. A bruise would certainly form. Whatever that was, it seemed to be over, for Hyakkimaru relaxed and rolled onto his back. He was drenched in sweat and his chest was still rising and falling too quickly. "Leg." What? Leg? "My leg, there ..." Tired, he pointed his hand to a corner of the room, which was now full of glittering powder. The moth was completely gone. Now he understood. He wanted his prosthetic leg. Tahomaru got up and stalked forward like a newborn fawn, unsteady. Yes, there it was. Between all the glitter. He picked it up and brought it back to its owner, who put it back into place with tired, slow movements and even rotated the ankle as a test. Everything, absolutely everything about this situation was absurd and Tahomaru had no idea how to deal with it. Here he was, bleeding, naked and glittering, next to his lover, whose back had just broken open and now sat here as if it were all completely normal. Not to forget that before that he had killed a huge monster moth, which then dissolved in glitter powder. Huh. Find the bug. No pun intended. "Hyakkimaru." The person addressed just looked at him exhausted. "What was that?" The other almost looked as if he didn't want to answer, but then thought better of it. "That was a demon... And now you know why I kill them... They stole my body... And when they die, I get it back..." Well, all right. From the first second he met Hyakkimaru, all attempts to approach the matter with logic had failed. That was definitely supernatural, contrary to all the laws of science that he believed the world to work on. Did he even know anything? Hyakkimaru was leaning against him and seemed on the verge of falling asleep. And somehow that helped him to function again, to gain a foothold in the present. "Hey... don't fall asleep. Come on, let's go to the bathroom first." But it didn't help. The other was no longer responsive. Tahomaru sighed and picked him up without further ado. Yes, he was definitely too light. The wounds on his torso hurt, but they didn't seem as bad as he'd feared. But somehow ... he now realized his bum was sore and he did his best to ignore it. He REALLY had no time for that now. Staggering slightly, he carried the other into the bathroom and leaned him against the wall so he could wash them both. Hyakkimaru slept like a dead man, absolutely nothing could wake him, while the warm water carried away the traces of everything that had happened in the other room. Sweat, sperm, glitter, blood. Even when he dried and dressed him again, it didn't bother him in the slightest. Seems like it was really exhausting when you had a new spine growing. Ah, bug found.

_Mutsu, please pick me up at the Hotel Paris. Don't ask any questions._

She had been wondering all evening where Tahomaru had gone and now she was supposed to pick him up from a love hotel. Seriously, just a week ago he had been worried that he would never get laid. After she had packed her car keys, she wrote a message to Hyogo, who was in the bathroom, that he should please hold out Uncle Kagemitsu and Aunt Nui in an emergency. She had already given Tahomarus an alibi for dinner, now it was Hyogos turn. How he did it was his business. Tahomarus parents didn’t need to know that their son was exploring his sexuality. During the ten-minute drive, she really tried hard not to imagine any scenarios of what might have happened that he felt compelled to ask her not to ask any questions. Better or worse, she had to wait. When she got to the hotel in question, Tahomaru was already standing on the pavement in front of it, carrying ... Hyakkimaru piggyback? Yes, actually, there was nothing wrong with her eyes. He came towards the car, swaying slightly under the other's weight. She hurried to open the door for him and help him with his burden. "Tahomaru, I know I shouldn't ask anything, but ... Why are you carrying Hyakkimaru on your back?" The addressee sighed heavily while he stowed the named person in the back seat almost like a piece of luggage and let the door slam. "Long story. Can we please drive him home first? To be honest, I have more questions than answers... Do you still have space for my bike?"

Dororo really wanted to wait for Hyakkimaru. But he just didn't come home, so she was frustrated and ate her ready-made curry with rice all alone. Had he forgotten her? Uncle Jukai hadn't come out of his room all day. Every now and then she would check on him and wake him up to take his pills. Since then she had been playing some pointless game on Jukais tablet and was now startled when the doorbell rang. Who came to visit at this time? When she opened the door, the next shock followed: Tahomaru stood there, carrying her Aniki on his back and behind them stood a unfamiliar woman who was supporting Hyakkimaru from behind. "Hey Dodoro. Sorry we're so late." Without waiting for her answer, he came in and carried him into his room. She followed them closely. "Hey, Aniki! What happened? Aniki!" He didn't respond to her calls and even when Tahomaru put him in his bed he didn't move a bit. Only the slight lifting and lowering of his chest indicated that he was only sleeping. Luckily. But normally he only slept that deeply when ... "Dororo, we need to talk." Since when did Ahomaru have such a brash tone? She swallowed hard. It wasn't going to be a pleasant conversation. Then the woman spoke up: "Please excuse me for just walking in. My name is Kashima Mutsu and I'm Tahomarus cousin. You are Hyakkimaru-kuns little sister, aren't you?" - "Yes, I am Dororo. Pleased to meet you." Despite this formality, the woman made a personable impression. Tahomaru had already gone into the kitchen and just sat down as if he were at home here. He seemed to be waiting for her to follow, as if he had called her up like a ruler his rank and file. This behaviour didn’t match the slightly silly impression she had of him. Was that his normal appearance when her Aniki wasn't involved? "Um ... do you want something to drink?" First buy some time. "No thanks." - "Yes, please. Do you need help?" Mutsu asked, but she refused. She got a couple of glasses of water. Even if Tahomaru had said no, she also put a glass in front of him, because depending on how this "conversation" would go, he might need one. "So you want to talk, Ahomaru?" She had to find out what he knew and how he felt about it. He just looked at her sharply. Oops, better not to use a nickname. "I would like to know why I had to witness how a moth the size of a van was trying to kill Hyakkimaru today. I am also interested in why after he stabbed the beast with a weapon hidden in his arm his back broke open and an artificial spine peeled out! " Oh fuck, that was bad! Couldn't it have been an arm? But no, of course it had to be something inside where the artificial stuff had to get out first because it was in the way. No wonder that Tahomaru, despite his controlled choice of words, had grown louder and louder, until at last he had almost screamed. Christ, if she was honest she was still upset about the tracheostomy thing ... "Um, Tahomaru? What are you talking about?" asked the woman, confused. Oh, she had absolutely no idea and he had brought her anyway? Well done, Ahomaru! Get some candy for it! "He's talking about Hyakkimaru killing demons that stole his body as a newborn," came a voice from the door. There was Jukai, visibly battered, but at least he was awake. Dororo jumped up and hugged him. "Uncle Jukai, are you feeling better?" He put his hand on her head. "Yes, thank you."

He would never have thought that he would ever tell Hyakkimarus story to outsiders. It felt like a confession, a shrift. He remembered like it was yesterday.

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

16 Years ago

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Slowly his consciousness crept back to the surface. His legs were still in the water, his clothes stuck to his skin, wet from rain and river water. It was cold. He was still alive. Did fate make a fool of him, allowed a cruel joke on him? Had he destroyed or taken countless lives over the years, and now he failed taking his own? Why couldn't he just die, disappear? So that he wouldn't harm anyone any longer. Not Okowa. Not Kaname. No one. He turned his head to the side and looked at the bridge. Should he try again right away? He straightened up, pulled himself out of the water. Yes, the rope around his leg with which he had fastened the stone tore. A second time he would hardly be so >> lucky <<. His gaze wandered across the bank in search of a new stone when something caught his attention. There was a shopping bag less than two meters from him. And something in it was moving. Had someone abandoned an unloved pet? Following an impulse, he opened it. And his breath caught in his throat. There was a newborn baby in the bag. But one like he had never seen one before. Basically it was just a bloody torso with a head, it was missing the skin, eyes, nose, ears, arms and legs. How? How was it still alive? It was freezing! He felt paternal protective instincts kick in from which he had thought he had long since lost. He quickly took off his wet jacket, picked up the child and wrapped it up in it, for everything was better than nothing now. Why was it here in the rain? A case like that belonged in ... Oh. A light dawned on him. There was a hospital with a maternity ward nearby. Somebody didn't want the baby like that, so it had been disposed of. Left to die. Yes, it would surely die. It was not viable, was under guarantee already hypothermic, had certainly caught heaps of bacterial infections and would sooner or later waste away. He would take it with him, this would shorten his suffering. A strange lightness gripped his heart when he realized that he would not die alone after all. Yes, it would work this time. Certainly he hadn't died the first time because fate wanted him to take care of this child, to take it with him into the dark. He smiled as he hugged the little bundle, rocking it slightly. "Hey little one. Don't worry, it will be over soon." An obscure curiosity seized him. How did the kid feel? Perfused muscle without skin over it? He put his finger on the baby's cheek and the baby turned its head through the rooting reflex, sucking on his finger. And Jukais distorted soul was shaken to the core. He felt it. This little human clung to its pitiful existence with all might. Why? It had no chance, did it? What did it want in this world that was often enough hell for healthy people? Life. It wanted to live. Now it became clear to the man: Fate had not spared him, the irresponsible, cruel man who had thrown himself from the bridge was dead. He was now someone else, only the doctor Itou Jukai. And this man would do everything in his power to help an innocent child survive...

He called him Hyakkimaru. The feared infections did not happen. Somehow he had made it through the bureaucratic custody procedure. Probably only because none of the clerks assumed that the little one would live long enough to complete the search for his birth parents. And so they would at least have someone for the costs that such an intensive care case, or as an older official put it, "a freak", would undoubtedly cause. That Jukai as a doctor offered to take over the medical care himself within the scope of his possibilities helped much and so he was unusually quickly the official legal guardian of the child. The little one, however, developed well according to the circumstances, he even reacted almost like a seeing child to movements although his eyes were missing. It was then that Jukai got the first idea that Hyakkimaru was somehow special. In addition to the other obvious disabilities, later examinations would reveal that he also lacked voice, hearing, and smell. But most shocking was the lack of a spine and nervous system. Didn't he move? How was that possible? He went through all available medical publications to which he had access as a doctor, but came to no useful result. And finally he accepted that there was no worldly explanation. It was the sheer will to survive, the strength of Hyakkimarus soul that allowed him to move his body. To stay alive. And a thought occurred to him. What if he put prostheses on him? Would he be able to move them like the rest of his body? He gave it a try, and yes, he could, as if they were his own flesh. When the little one grew head hair even though he had no dermis in which the hair roots could be located, he did not question it, did not worry unnecessarily. It was just like that. And never would he dare cutting it. Even before his first birthday, Jukai had operated the boy several times on his own, inserted the cochlear implants, constructed a spinal replacement, and gave him all the prostheses that were possible. Hyakkimaru made up his initial development deficit due to the lack of limbs extremely quickly. Crawling, walking and the meanings of certain words. Shortly after his second birthday, Jukai put his tracheostomy in place and Hyakkimaru soon mastered the first simple words himself. No, loud, quiet, more, there, what. With every growth spurt, Jukai adjusted the prostheses, operated so often that it became routine. Only the missing skin remained a problem. He couldn't just take the little one outside with him, because even if he didn't catch any infections for whatever reason, cold, heat and strong sunlight were still a problem for him despite the silicone mask and bandages. Which led to problem number two: The lack of pain sensation. It made the necessary operations much easier, but otherwise Jukai had to keep a very close eye on Hyakkimaru to avoid him injuring himself. With every day that the boy learned something new, he also became more mobile and more open to discovery, but also developed his very own sleep rhythm. In other words, when he was tired he would just lay down somewhere. For a while he slept exclusively during the day and wandered around the house at night as if he were looking for something or someone, even if he could never say what or who he was trying to find. At some point, Jukai admitted that he needed help with the care, because he had resettled as a practising doctor in a new neighbourhood. After all, money did not grow on trees and his savings were gradually used up, despite government subsidies. Not to mention, he was still sending money to Okowa for Kaname. A kindergarten was out of the question because of the circumstances, so he hired nursing assistants. None of them stayed that long, because even if they were too professional to pronounce: Hyakkimaru was scary to them. The next challenge was compulsory education. He came to a school for severely multiple handicapped people, as neither a regular school nor a school for the blind came into question. The advantages were that he was accompanied at school and that his need for sleep was taken into account. The disadvantages: Very slow learning pace and extremely easy material that simply did not challenge him. Sometimes Jukai even had the impression that the school was purely a custody facility. So he sat with Hyakkimaru every evening and went over a few topics from a regular school book with him because he was willing to learn and quite intelligent, which was particularly evident in the fact that at the end of the third grade he was already working on mathematical problems from the fourth without any problems, while some of his cognitively restricted classmates did not get beyond the addition and subtraction up to 20. However, he struggled with everything that included language, as many terms caused problems for him due to a lack of sensory experience. How do you explain colours to a blind person? Sensory to someone who can`t feel? This also meant he can`t solve most word problems at school. More than once, Jukai had to avert the "mentally handicapped" sorting stamp. Playing was another topic again. Although he enjoyed romping, running and even climbing, Hyakkimaru often simply passed out because he didn't feel when he had to rest. He enjoyed music, so Jukai got a piano and the house rattled late into the night for months. So the time passed and against all odds Hyakkimaru grew and thrived more magnificently than Jukai could ever have hoped. Sometimes he forgot how limited his son was. Yes, that was Hyakkimaru: his son. Then that night came and fate reshuffled the cards. Mio died, Hyakkimaru had injured something that wasn’t human and then he had grown skin. Just like that. For a long time they did not know how to classify this event, they could only accept that it was so. Hyakkimaru no longer needed such intensive care and supervision and he was drawn outside. At first, Jukai went with him every time, and Hyakkimaru was always very angry when he didn't have time to go for a walk because of his work. Finally he began to leave the house on his own. That caused an enormous leap in his development, his world got bigger every time. And although Jukai almost died of worry when the boy set off alone at first, he let him be. Who was he to lock up a young boy of sixteen? Then about half a year ago he came back extremely late. Limping a bit, smeared with blood, injured, with a prosthetic leg in one hand and a little girl on the other. He had grown a leg of flesh and blood. That was the time when Dororo moved in with them and they found out what most likely had caused Hyakkimarus condition. He was not born a cripple. His body was stolen from him by these non-humans, demons. And he could actually get it back.

\- - - - - - - - - - - -

Jukai didn't tell everything. He left out all the details about himself or Dororo, for example. It was about Hyakkimaru, not him. When he finished there was silence. Dororo, who actually knew all the details, didn't say a word either. What was there to say about such a story? You believed it or you didn't believe it. Tahomaru was the one who finally broke the silence: "Why? Why did the demons do that? Something like that just doesn't happen for no reason?" Jukai had long had a theory. "I don't know ... but if I had to guess, would I say that maybe he was sacrificed?" - "Sacrificed? How do you get that?" Mutsus voice sounded unusually tight. "I have a friend who has a similar ability to Hyakkimaru. Tahomaru, you should know him." The addressee didn't have to think twice. "Biwamaru-sensei ..." Jukai nodded. "Like Hyakkimaru, he can see demons and knows a thing or two about them. He said that demons like to conclude contracts with people because they can consolidate their existence. They offer everything: power, wealth, success. As payment, of course, they demand something, be it a life, a soul or a body. Well, in this case parts of the body would also suffice ... "There was a long silence again. "His parents did that, didn't they?" Tahomaru met Jukais eyes as he asked this question. The man didn't evade. "Probably yes." The boy's face contorted, whether anger or despair was not entirely clear. Probably both. "How can someone ... their own child ...?" Unexpectedly, Dororo stated in a sober tone: "Oh, that's not that difficult ... I have met many children who have just gone through hell because of their parents and more than once I have hoped that these adults would exactly go there." When she uttered these words, she seemed strangely indifferent, like someone who had seen too much while Jukai tensed unnoticed. Then they heard steps in the corridor coming towards the kitchen. Hyakkimaru had woken up and stepped into the room, swaying slightly. Tahomaru jumped up to support him. The other let him do and put an arm around him. The other hand came to rest on Dororos head, which was also clinging to Hyakkimaru. "Aniki, is everything okay? Are you injured?" Addressed shook his head. "No, I'm just feeling... weird? My body doesn't react as usual..." - "That will be due to the fact that real bones and intervertebral discs function fundamentally differently from their replacement. Your entire body has to adjust to it. Be prepared for a lot of sore muscles, it can take a while." Jukais tone was still a bit emotionless, but at least he was speaking normally again. So it was getting better, and although Hyakkimaru didn't like the answer, he was relieved. Tahomaru pulled him lightly: “Come on, sit down." - "Yes, you should have a drink too!" Dororo joined in and hurried to pour her Aniki a glass of water. Mutsu stood up and offered her chair to Hyakkimaru, as there were only four seats in the room. When he sat and sipped from the glass, the room was quiet. Again it was Tahomaru who spoke. "Hyakkimaru, why didn't you tell me?" The addressed put the glass on the table and thought for a moment before turning to him to answer. "Would you have believed me? You had problems with me >>killing in self-defence<<. If you hadn't seen it... Would you have understood?" Tahomaru didn't answer, but after a short while looked away, stubbornly stared at the glass of water in front of him, which he had not yet touched. Mutsu put her hands on his shoulders. "Come." She turned to the others present. "I apologize now. It was obviously a busy day and it's getting late, we have to go home. Thanks for your hospitality." Without another word, Tahomaru rose and walked to the door. Mutsu followed closely.

When both sat in the car, they did not speak a word. Hyakkimarus two questions circled in Tahomarus mind. Would he have believed him? Would he have understood? As little as he liked it, he knew the answer to both questions, as blank and cold as a drawn blade it dug into his heart. Because some things had to be seen to be believed. You had to see to understand it. The answer was No.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, dear readership.  
> Phew, this chapter demanded a lot from me personally. Mainly because of Jukai. There is a reason that I have my problems with him. I hope you are still interested in the story. Until then, all the best and stay healthy  
> Sincerely yours  
> Otakuplant


	15. Denouement

There was silence in the house, but Hyakkimaru couldn't sleep even though he was tired. His thoughts stood still and yet turned in circles. He had known, Tahomaru would not have believed him. The sighted only ever believed their eyes, what the words of others wanted to convey to them did not count. In a way, they were deaf and blind, because even if they liked to imagine, they didn't see everything. Always thought he was the blind one just because they were unable to see the monsters hiding between them. It didn't even have to be demons. Dororo had told him what other people could do to each other. Especially at the beginning, after he had simply taken her home, she often crawled into his bed to cry. And very quickly she confided in him what memories tormented her, what stories the children told each other whom she had met over the years. Perhaps she confided in him because he spoke so little himself and preferred to listen. Because he just accepted her words as she said them. Without justifying, without denying, without belittling. _Adults were cruel to children just because they were weaker. Men were sick bastards who would savage anything that had a hole. Far too many mothers did not love their children and blamed them for it. People were selfish, just waiting to stab each other in the back for their own benefit._ All her words, not his. And even if he didn't share her opinion, he didn't need his eyes to know that those were her experiences. Her screams then had been enough for him and he had acted. He had killed the men who wanted to hurt her and the demon that had incited them to do so. He regretted none of it. He would do it again anytime if he would protect his little sister with it. But it hurt. It hurt to know his words weren't enough for Tahomaru. That he too was only a sighted person. Had he expected too much because the patterns of their souls were so similar? Hoping too much because they became one today? There was a knot in his throat and he felt as if he was slowly choking on it. He loved Tahomaru and for nothing in the world did he want to miss this feeling, but that it hurt this much just wasn't fair. "Hey ..." Ah, Dororo was there. "Should I stay with you?" Without a word he moved to make room for her. She didn't need his words to understand and laid down next to him. Her little hand ran over his head, combing her fingers through his hair. And then the first sob left his throat, tears flowing from the corners of his eyes. He hugged Dororos chest, his numb fingers clutching her shirt as he lets out his frustration and sadness. "It's okay, Aniki, it's okay. Everything will be fine..." She started to hum some melody, maybe from a nursery rhyme and it was so incredibly comforting to know that she was just there. As his tears slowly subsided, he found that the knot in his throat was gone. He could breathe again. It didn't matter anymore that Tahomaru hadn't believed him. A little sad maybe, but not bad. He could live with it. He could still love Tahomaru. Dororo had fallen asleep in the meantime, he could hear a constant rustling from outside through her gentle breathing. It had started to rain. And slowly he too dozed off.

He lay awake. The tiredness just did not want to set in, too many words, thoughts and feelings lay in his head in a shambles and only with difficulty did he manage to put them into a meaningful order. Hyakkimarus life ... the hard lot that was allotted to him for this life ... he had no skin until last year ... until recently he could feel absolutely nothing ... taste nothing ... smell nothing ... had no voice ... could not hear anything strictly speaking ... nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. He tried to imagine. What it was like not to perceive anything that was taken for granted for him. Whether he wore clothes on his body or not. How the bedding felt. Whether the air was warm or cold, the wind was blowing, the sun was shining on your skin or rain was falling down on you. Water. A warm bath or a refreshing shower. The taste of food. So many little things occurred to him that he hadn't paid much attention to in his life so far and he remembered the afternoon on the beach. How much Hyakkimaru had enjoyed absolutely everything. Sand. Wind. How he had always pressed against him to feel him. He pressed his palms to his burning eyes. He felt so incredibly stupid and slowly got the feeling that he had only used Hyakkimaru today to satisfy his own lust. With what right had he said all along that he loved Hyakkimaru when he had no idea about anything? Wouldn't have believed him in his arrogance despite all the impossibilities of which the other was capable? Hyakkimaru ...

The shadow laid in the room in front of the statue and did not move. She herself had only tossed restlessly in bed while her husband slept soundly. So she wanted to use the time to pray and when she saw him, her heart became light and heavy at the same time. She sat down behind him and was about to try if she could touch him again when she heard it. A whisper.

_Tahomaru ..._

Her body froze. The shadow, her child, had spoken for the first time. And whispered his brother's name to her. What did that mean? Did he want her to turn to him, her second son? Yes. It had to be like that. The older brother wanted her to take care of the younger one. The living. It hit her like a blow and her throat constricted. She had a living son who needed her. Even her dead child knew this and reminded her of her motherly duties. Oh Kannon, merciful one, was that what you wanted to admonish me mortal all along? Letting go of the dead and finally taking care of the living? Her heart ached as she rose quietly and gave the shadow one last look. Yes, she understood. And for the first time in years, she felt as if the grey veil over the world was gone and she could see clearly. Tahomaru, her son.

When Jukai woke up, he immediately felt able to get up. He was hungry, which was a good sign, but when he put his legs on the floor he felt a slight dizziness. So take it easy. After his circulation got going, he got ready and went downstairs. Neither Dororo nor Hyakkimaru were up yet. Recently Hyakkimaru was up early in the morning and now Dororo slept till all hours? Topsy-turvy world. When he opened the refrigerator, he found that it was almost empty. In any case, there was nothing in it that could be used for breakfast. Right, nobody went shopping, the children didn't think about it on their own. It was pouring rain outside, but it didn't help, he would probably have to go shopping first. For a moment he thought about whether he already felt able to leave the house ... Yes, it would be okay. He ate a biscuit, put on his shoes, and took an umbrella. The rain pattered against the plastic, creating a steady knock that muffled all the noise in the world. In the grocery store around the corner he took some toast, milk, eggs and a few ready-made meals with him. If the children should complain, they were welcome to walk again themselves, he didn't have the strength to carry more today. Ah, Hyakkimaru would definitely need something for the sore muscles. When he was just standing in front of the candy and was thinking about taking a few chocolate bars with him, someone stepped too close to him. "Hey Itou-senpai. Not seen for a long time." He would recognize this voice anytime, anywhere. And he was tired of it. He'd had two breakdowns this week because his past caught up with him in one way or another. He didn't know where this determination suddenly came from, but it was enough now! His son and Dororo had nothing to eat because he couldn't face his previous life, face his guilt and approach it like an adult! As much as he wished it was different, his past was part of him and would never vanish. Tired of running away, he turned to the person who had just spoken to him. He felt it inside him, the coldness of the beast and when he answered his voice was cutting. "I actually thought I had made myself clear back then, Itachi. I like to repeat it: Don't look for me, I'm out." The thin man took a step back and raised his hands soothingly. "Well, just calm down, dude. You don't even know what it's about." - "When you get to me, I know exactly what it's about. You are the only one who knows about it and is still alive. And the answer remains the same: No." The man made a disparaging grin. "Oh well, don`t be like that. The client has explicitly asked for you and is giving an enormous sum just for me to send you the offer. The reward for the job itself is definitely amazing. If he didn't quite clearly had asked for you, I would see for myself that I can pocket the chinkers. Just think about it, okay? Well then, see you!" With that, the man disappeared as suddenly as he had appeared. Jukai turned back to the candy and tossed a few bars at random into his shopping basket. And stopped. In addition to his purchases, there was also an envelope in the basket. That damn bastard! He would have loved to tear the letter up on the spot and throw it away. But he didn't know what was inside and if the snippets fell into the wrong hands, there could be problems. He had no choice, he had to take the envelope home and check the contents before he could destroy it. As soon as he could he paid and went home. After all, who knew if he would have another nervous breakdown when the anger subsided? But it kept him on his feet. It was both terrifying and liberating to know that after all this time he could still rely on it. To that beast in him that he hadn't managed to drown in the river and lifted its hideous head out of the waves to breathe again. That damn weasel, the next time he saw him he would name him each of his bones while he breaks them! They called him “Internist" for a reason.

Hyogo was, to put it mildly, annoyed, because neither Tahomaru nor his sister were gracious enough to explain why both had been in a mood as if someone had died since yesterday. He tried to trust that they surely had their reasons and would tell him soon. Because they had always been through everything together. They shared every sorrow and joy. Why should this suddenly change? Still, it was frustrating to see how both of them dragged themselves gloomily through the day, each lost in their own thoughts. Even Aunt Nui had noticed that something was wrong. Even if only because of that handprint-shaped bruise on Tahomarus forearm. But when she tried to talk to her son, he turned her down. That set off Hyogos alarm bells. If Tahomaru turned his mother down, it had to be really, REALLY bad. Fine. Nobody wanted to talk? Then he let actions speak for themselves! Just as Tahomaru was about to hide in his room again, he stopped him. "Hey, Taho!" Addressed just looked at him blankly. "Don't look so stupid and come with me. We're training now!" The look changed to annoyed. "No Hyogo, I don't have any- HEY!" He didn't let him finish, just picked him up and tossed him over his shoulder like a sack of rice. "HYOGO, ARE YOU INSANE?! LET ME DOWN IMMEDIATELY!" Tahomaru yelled, but his attempts to break free were at most half-hearted, so he simply carried him into the large tatami room in the annex, where two Boken were already waiting. Most of the building was actually unused, only Mutsus and his room as well as the kitchen and the bathroom were entered regularly. As children, they had always played, romped and fought in these large, empty rooms. Without permission, of course. The last time they had brawled here years ago they broke a couple of the sliding doors, earning them all a resounding slap from Uncle Kagemitsu. Taho and him for being responsible and Mutsu for not stopping them. As he said, they shared everything. Since then, these rooms have basically been taboo for anything faster than walking. But for once, Hyogo will take responsibility for it. He put Tahomaru, who no longer offered resistance, down in the middle of the room and sat across from him. "Daigo Tahomaru, this is a conversation between Senpai and Kouhai. You missed the last official training session before the summer vacation without excuse and I expect you to catch up on this here and now." Tahomaru sighed heavily and ran a hand over his face. "It's unfair that you play the Senpai card and you know it. But you leave me alone after this, understood?" He bowed half-heartedly and rose, wooden sword in hand. Hyogo almost started laughing. So his cousin wanted to play stubborn, well, he should see what he gets from it. "So what should I do, Senpai?" The younger had hardly finished speaking before Hyogo had already struck out. Tahomaru was barely able to intercept the training weapon before it hit his body, but Hyogo persisted and kept pushing, so that Tahomaru had to back away. He took a big step to the side so that Hyogos energy could run past him into the void, but he had expected this standard manoeuvre and already backed away himself so that the younger could not start an attack. "Tahomaru, it's very simple: whoever hits first wins. Otherwise there are no rules." - "Ha, that simple then..." Tahomarus mouth twisted into a crooked grin and he struck out. But Hyogo blocked without problems and pushed him back. It went on for a while and Hyogo saw his suspicions confirmed. The other fought weakly and he could read him like an open book. Something had shaken him, but he was playing cool and not addressing the problem. Tahomarus attacks gradually became more desperate, the performance sloppy, his frustration was evident. Should he already confront him with it or wear him out? The younger one trembled slightly with tension and exhaustion, his breathing was far too fast for this short fight. Yes, time to end this act. He hit Tahomarus Boken with a powerful blow to the side, the defence was now completely open and he braked just before the forehead of the other. "Hit to the head. I won."

Tahomaru literally dropped to the floor. His performance was just miserable, every beginner could do it better and he knew that. But what should he do? He was completely beside himself. Until yesterday he had thought he loved Hyakkimaru, but was that really true? The fact that he couldn't have believed him clearly indicated that he didn't trust him, right? Was there love without trust? Hyogo sat next to him in silence and seemed to be waiting for something. Maybe he should really just ask him. "Hey, you just believed me about Yakonari-sensei. But why? Why do you trust me so much?" The older looked at him as if he had just asked an incredibly stupid question. Maybe the nickname >>Ahomaru<< wasn't so inappropriate after all... "Well, because I know you. In case you've forgotten, we've been living together like brothers for ten years. I know how you think, what annoys you, what makes you happy, what I can expect from you and what not... Since this is obviously about Hyakkimaru, you should consider one thing: You have only known him for a week. Of course there is still no trust." One week. True, he had only met him last Sunday. He kept forgetting that, because regardless of what had happened in those few days, he somehow had the feeling that they had known each other all their lives. Did that have anything to do with that similarity which Hyakkimaru mentioned? "Can you love someone even if you don't trust them?" Hyogo was silent for a while before answering. "I think so. Love, or being in love, often hits you suddenly, from one moment to the next. Trust only grows over time." Tahomaru said nothing more and fell against Hyogos side. It felt good to be able to lean on someone. "Thank you, Hyogo." - "Anytime, Taho. Anytime."

Something was wrong, but Mutsu couldn't put her finger on it. Since hearing Hyakkimarus story yesterday, something was nagging in her subconsciousness, as if she was missing something obvious. It wasn't that she doubted what had happened. Tahomaru had testified to having seen a demon, so it must have been true, even if everything in her resisted it. And Hyakkimaru actually had skills that were not "normal". No, it was something else. She spun around in her office chair, as did her thoughts. Hopefully she got it soon, because that feeling was extremely annoying. Then there was something else that bothered her. Tahomaru was in danger yesterday because he was with Hyakkimaru. When they got home, she had treated his wounds. Was Hyakkimaru then per se a threat to Tahomaru? Who could predict when the next demon would attack him? What if Tahomaru was injured again? She remembered even suggesting that Tahomaru should part with him. He had run from her as if she were a demon. How was it now? After all, he must have witnessed a real splatter movie like from the adults section, because she doubted that a spinal column breaking out could somehow be bloodless. Did she have to worry now that he was suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder? There were so many questions and far too few answers. She had to read about the stress disorder again ...

Everything, really everything hurt him. So that was the sore muscles Papa had warned him about. He wasn't sure if he even wanted to get up today. Even a breath that was too deep drove this terrible burning sensation through every muscle strand involved, and Hyakkimaru wondered how long he would have to endure it. He wanted to do something, even if it was just listening to music, but he had to at least raise his arm. Crap. Dororo had gotten up a while ago and said she would be back in a moment, but when was it "in a moment"? She might as well have said "tomorrow," it made no difference to him. He also had to go to the bathroom. Bloody fucking hell. He would have to endure it, so he gritted his teeth and sat up with a painful groan. His real leg trembled as he slowly stalked out of the room towards the toilet. But gradually he managed to fade out the burning. When he had finished and was on his way back, Dororo suddenly stood in front of him and held out one of two small glasses that she was holding in her hands. "Hey Aniki, Uncle Jukai brought you something from the supermarket! Should be good against sore muscles, but tastes like liquid manure. Better drink it quickly, otherwise it'll come up again!" He wasn't sure whether the last piece of information was actually helpful and took the glass from her with aching shoulders to try it out. It smelled of milk and vanilla. So could it really taste that bad? Hyakkimaru took a small sip and immediately spat it back into the glass. Goddamned bloody shit! He never tasted anything that disgusting! He should drink that? Thank you, no, he'd rather be in pain! Dororo seemed to have read his mind, he heard her sigh pityingly before she said: "I'm sorry, Aniki." And kicked his right shin! With a cry of pain, he stumbled and fell on his knees, dropping the glass. Damn what was that for? In a flash, Dororo grabbed his nose with her free hand and held it closed, the other hand pushed the edge of the second glass between his lips and tipped the contents into his mouth. He would have loved to push her away, but his body was just too weak for that and the sudden movements sent new waves of pain through it. In reflex he swallowed the vile stuff in one gulp and when he was done he had to cough violently and he shook himself in disgust, which in turn made his muscles burn again. He`ll remember that, she will pay for this! Dororo seemed to know his thoughts again, in a sympathetic tone she said: "Now don't look like that, tomorrow you will be grateful to me when we have training again." Right, tomorrow they had training. Could he call in sick?

Tahomaru found his mother sitting on the porch with her usual tea set beside her, which for some reason she valued. The rain, which had been falling continuously from the sky since the night, swirled up the surface of the koi pond and drowned all the sounds of the world in its steady rustling. He wanted to apologize to her for rejecting her so roughly that morning, even though she was just worried. Because that was what he wanted from her: that she cares for him. Maybe he could tell her a little about Hyakkimaru, too. Not the details of their relationship, he didn't feel ready to come out to her. But he also didn't want to make a secret of the fact that the other was now playing an important role in his life, as a friend. "Mother ... can I sit down with you?" She looked up at him for a moment, nodded, and looked back to the rain. "I'm sorry about this morning." His mother shook her head in response. "No, please, you don't have to apologize. My intrusiveness was insensitive. I know you would tell me if it was any of my business." She looked at him. And Tahomaru had the feeling that she was actually seeing him, not just looking through him. Wistfulness lay in her eyes and her lips played a tentative smile as she put her hand on his arm, just above the bruise. "I keep forgetting that you are already fifteen years old and that you now have a life of your own to which I have no access as your mother. Heavens, at other times you count as a grown man and if you were a girl you could marry next year. " There was a soft laugh that sounded kind of bitter. Why does she talk about marriage? Her fingers carefully ran down his arm, over the hand-shaped discolouration, and left his skin. "I would love to hear more from the blind Kendoka from the other day." That smile again. And it hit Tahomaru like lightning from the blue. She knew! She knew and didn't say anything, but gave him the choice of what to tell her. The first shock subsided at this realization, but the uncertainty remained. How did she notice? As seldom as she actually paid any attention to him, it had to be obvious. Or hadn't she recently slept as soundly as he'd hoped? "Tahomaru, please, you don't have to worry. I know I'm not a good mother. I often can't give you the attention you want and need. But that doesn't change the fact that I carried you under my heart and therefore know more about you than any other person in the world." She uttered these words with clearly audible affection and had her hand on his arm again. And actually that calmed him down. It didn't dispel the uncertainty and the question of "how?". But it gave him the courage to make a decision. "His name is Hyakkimaru. I`m ... I'm in love with him." She smiled.

Jukai stared at the paper on his desk as if he could burn it with just one look. Even if he never wanted to do this type of work again, it was incredibly lucky that this assignment landed with him. Alone when he considered that it was difficult to contact him in the past, because you first had to know someone who knew someone and so on. He didn't want to imagine that someone else would have received this letter. It could have ended in disaster. Tomorrow he would find the weasel and pull the client's name out of his nose. If Itachi was lucky, his brain would still be where it belonged after that. The beast inside growled.

_Target person: Itou Hyakkimaru._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello dear readership,
> 
> I hope you are doing well. Huh, Jukai. Jukai, Jukai, what am I doing with you? On the one hand, I really like the cheerful Jukai who is under legal drugs, but on the other hand, I hardly believe that a person, especially at a mature age, can really leave everything behind (Empirical value). So I found it kind of fitting that Jukai is now facing the monster / trauma within. But not to get rid of it (it didn't work last time), but to control it. Let's see what happens. Because let's be honest: doesn't each of us have a monster inside that we keep in check day after day? Given where this story is heading, I'm almost certain that my monster is writing this story. In this context a music tip: “Das zweite Gesicht” (The second face) by Peter Fox. If you`re up to it, just check it out. To end this afterword in a positive mood: I like Hyogo <3 He is energetic, sincere and loyal. <3
> 
> Thank you for reading and stay healthy
> 
> Sincerely yours
> 
> Otakuplant


	16. Disperse

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warnings: Panic attac

"Hey Hyakkimaru." It had frustrated him that the other one hadn't called yesterday after simply leaving the day before yesterday. He would have loved to call him himself, but he had the feeling that it would only have gotten weird, so he had left it and occupied himself differently in his few waking phases. He had found that some of his audio books made more sense to him now. The difference made by a few words like "sorrow", "bitter" or "lonely" was enormous. "Hello Tahomaru." Silence, then a heavy sigh. "Um, well, about last time... I'm sorry I just left... and... didn't call yesterday either. I had to think about some things." Oh, think about things? And that's why he ignored him? "It's okay. I know that sighted people are somewhat... restricted. Because they only believe their eyes." There was a new feeling in him that gave him these words. Somehow biting, he wanted to let Tahomaru feel that he had hurt him. "Ouch, that was mean now. But I probably deserved it, right?" There was a trace of laughter in his voice and the need to be mean grew weaker. "Yes you did. Even I know it's rude to just walk away." Now he felt like laughing too. But Tahomaru didn't need to know. "That means something, huh? Do you have time today? I... I miss you." Oh. Now he didn't care that he was actually offended. He missed the other one too and wanted to meet him as soon as possible. "I'm going to training with Dororo right away. Do you want to come with me?" The thought that he could train with Tahomaru again today made his heart leap for joy. Hopefully he said yes. "Ah right, you have training again today... If your Sensei is okay with it?" - "Of course, since we were allowed to practice with you last time. Then we can both fight again." He was looking forward to it. And then he'd like to kiss him. At least.

The training group was unusual, that was what Tahomaru had suspected the last time. But now he figured out HOW unusual! The Sensei was actually a monk who, as a kind of honorary post, supervised an educational program for disadvantaged children financed by the youth welfare office. Tahomarus first thought was: Such a thing existed? His second thought: So many children! Because yes, there were definitely thirty children of primary school age, all dressed in Keikogi and Hakama, walking through the actually way too small sports hall. About ten children had an adult companion, he assumed it was their parents. And some were obviously restricted in some way. At first glance he had already seen three children with hearing aids and several who walked strangely or even hobbled. Others, however, looked completely normal. He felt someone pull on his sleeve. "Hey, Ahomaru, don't stare like that, that's rude." Had he been staring so obviously? "Ah, sorry. Tell me... how is it that there are so many adults here who don't seem to be training?" Dororo didn't look at him, but let her gaze wander around the hall as if she were looking for someone. "These are the caretakers for the mentally handicapped or those with aggression problems. Oh, and before you put another foot in: don't ask anyone about their parents, half of them doesn't have any." ... Oh. Dororo now seemed to have discovered the person she was looking for, because she suddenly ran away. "Sayo-chan! Hey, Sayo-chan!" Tahomaru stood alone and didn't know what to do with himself among all these kids when Hyakkimaru stepped up next to him and lightly pressed his arm to his side. He didn't want to admit it, but the other's presence relaxed him. "Is this really your normal training group? Or do you always train with the Sensei?" That really interested him. Because how could the other be so good if he only had children as training partners? "Both. The group practices the basics for an hour, then the Sensei practices with me alone." Yes, he should have guessed that. Biwamaru-sensei entered and almost all the children ran to the side to stand up. He had to say he hadn't expected so much discipline, especially since Dororo had given him an overview of the group. Up till now he hadn't even realized that he had so many prejudices. He stood next to Hyakkimaru, who had lined up at the very edge, he would simply stick to him as a guest. The first lesson actually went exactly as he was used to, with a few exceptions. Greeting, warming up, basic techniques, partner exercises. Every now and then he would hear how some of the children were admonished and in fact one child lost control and attacked his caretaker. But that all seemed routine, because without making a fuss, the child was fought off by the adult and shoved out of the hall with a lot of shouting but without anyone interested. Tahomaru found this irritating and interesting at the same time and he realized again how little he actually knew about the world outside of his comfort zone. The first hour was over sooner than he would have expected, and they said goodbye. However, contrary to his expectations, not all children left the hall, only those with a caretaker went out. The rest of them ran to a corner where there was a ball cart and each child took a ball. Whether football, basketball or volleyball didn't seem to matter, some even had tennis balls in their hands. Dororo was probably particularly motivated and was clutching three basketballs. Then they all formed a large circle and seemed to be waiting eagerly for something, they whispered excitedly to each other and a great many now looked conspicuously at Hyakkimaru. He turned to him: "This is my training. Watch." He had an indefinable smile on his face as he moved towards the children. He no longer held a Shinai, instead in each hand was now a wooden Tanto. Tahomaru was trying to guess what was going to happen now when the Sensei stood next to him. "Nice to meet you again, Daigo-kun." - "Thank you for letting me train with you today, Sensei." The old man just nodded, then shouted to the group: "Well, kids, you know the rules! Time limit five minutes. Today's price for hitting is melon ice cream. Is everyone ready?" The mob screamed unanimously "YES!", Hyakkimaru had placed himself in the middle of the circle and Tahomaru realized what was about to happen. The Sensei gave the command and all the children tried to throw off Hyakkimaru with the balls. But he dodged cleverly, turned, hopped over balls that were aimed at his legs and ducked under those that would hit his head. And again and again he fended off with the Tantos balls that had his body as a target.  The amount of balls quickly decreased, because apparently only balls that were caught were allowed to be thrown again. Soon there were only four balls left in play, but these were thrown very carefully and the children cheered each other on. Tahomaru couldn't take his eyes off Hyakkimaru. He was fascinated like the first time he saw him figh t. The goal-driven movements. Fast, almost elegant evasive action. The powerful hitting back of the balls. Tahomarus  mouth went dry and he unconsciously licked his lips. He knew that in a real fight he would never stand a chance against him. And then it was over, the Sensei gave a signal to stop, the children rebelled in disappointment because they would not get any ice cream. But Biwamaru-sensei knew how to call his group to order and offered a chewy candy as a consolation prize to anyone who went to change their clothes without complaining. It had an effect and after less than a minute the balls were cleared and the hall was almost empty. In fact, only Dororo, the boy Saru from last week and two other children, a boy and a girl besides Hyakkimaru and Tahomaru themselves, were still in the hall. Hyakkimaru came up to him now, he was pretty out of breath and had a hand across his ribs. "Tahomaru, come on. I want to fight you." The children had already formed teams of two and began to practice together, although the Sensei was still not back. This was probably normal here too. "You'd better rest first. The children have grilled you and you seem to be in pain ..." He didn't want Hyakkimaru to overdo himself in any way. "Never mind. It's just sore muscles." Sore muscles ... Oh yes, Jukai had announced that. But did it even make sense when he was training like that? Would a fight between them even be fair under these conditions? The other seemed to notice his reservations, made an indefinable sound that clearly expressed annoyance. He came very close to him, their noses almost touched and in an ice-cold tone he made it clear: "Demons don't care how I'm doing. I always have to be able to defend myself. So be serious." He paused to catch his breath. Tahomaru noticed that Hyakkimarus hand was almost clutching his side. Did it get worse? "What if I hurt you?" - "You will not." Where did this certainty come from? Tahomaru knew that Hyakkimaru was better, but something unexpected could still happen. What if the other person just fell over from overexertion? Hyakkimaru simply pressed their foreheads together. "You are not a beginner and you are not a demon. You will not hurt me. If you fight me, you will help me. Because then I will know how to move when I have painful breathing. Please, Tahomaru." 

He had given in. Fortunately, it would have been frustrating if he couldn't fight Tahomaru when he was already there. Because he had already noticed last week that the other one was actually pretty good. If he were to put less emphasis on rigid form, he could certainly take on him. But like this he stood in his own way and Hyakkimaru would have had an easy time with him. Would have. Because now it was honestly difficult for Hyakkimaru to stand straight at all. Damn sore muscles, couldn't his body get used to it faster? His shoulders trembled slightly with tension as he waited for Tahomaru to launch an attack. But he still hesitated. Alright, then he would attack first. He stormed forward, the Tantos in his hands ready to defend himself, because Tahomaru had now made up his mind to attack. But too late, Hyakkimaru managed to dodge the blow from the Shinai to the side and get dangerously close to the younger one. Finally Tahomaru seemed to get involved in his disorderly way of fighting, he fended him off to the side with his sword and Hyakkimaru held both wooden knives protectively in front of him so as not to be hit by the Shinai. The contact sent a shock wave of pain through his shoulders and torso and he took a few steps back. Was he imagining it or had he just heard a strange noise from his back in his body? As if something were rubbing against each other like pebbles. It was getting harder and harder to breathe, his sides ached with every gasp, as if he had burned himself inside. Tahomaru charged again, sword thrust straight at him. Just then he could use a Tanto to deflect the sword to the side and his other hand reached out to hit Tahomaru. But he drew back quickly and now held his Shinai across his chest to fend him off. Hyakkimaru dropped to the floor, rolled sideways past Tahomaru and thrust the handle of a wooden knife onto his side before he had a chance to turn around. Direct hit. He dropped his hand and now propped himself up on the floor. In addition to every aching breath, his back now ached and he felt as if he could not move properly. As if something got ... caught in his back? He could hardly breathe. "Hyakkimaru?" Tahomaru had noticed something was wrong with him and knelt next to him. "Hey, Hyakkimaru, that's enough. If you overexert yourself that much, you can do a lot of damage to your body." Tahomaru already sounded like Papa. He would have liked to answer something, but he couldn't get a sound out of the pain and breathlessness. "Ah, now he collapsed after all." Biwamaru-sensei. "Tahomaru-kun, please take him to the first aid room, he should lie down a little and then go home. It's right next to the changing rooms." - "Yes, Sensei. Hyakkimaru, can you get up?" Was he able to? He wasn't so sure. He grabbed Tahomarus shoulder who supported him with both hands. When he tried to get up, his legs gave in and if the other hadn't held him, he would have fallen. Now Tahomaru hugged him tighter and mumbled something before he took him in both arms and picked him up. The sudden movement brought something back into place, it made a strangely liberating crunch and he could breathe again. "Hyakkimaru, please hold on to me properly." He put his other arm around Tahomarus shoulders and when he took him to the first aid room, he wondered when he was last carried like a small child. Well, actually he didn't care. It was nice to have Tahomaru that close. He leaned his head to the crook of Tahomarus neck, his scent now mixed with sweat and he smelled almost like when they were having sex. He liked that, it made something flutter inside him. When they got to their destination, Tahomaru put him down on the couch and he tried to lie down somehow as painlessly as possible. Finally his breath could calm, the pain subsided. "Is it getting better? Is there anything I can do for you?" He could hear so much worry in the other's voice that he was almost sorry he had insisted on the fight. But only almost.

"Come here." He hesitated a little, but then he came close and Hyakkimaru grabbed his face with his hands to pull him towards him. Their mouths met for a light kiss before Tahomaru stepped back and put a finger to his lips instead. "I'm sorry, but we really can't do that now." Hyakkimaru was disappointed. He wanted to feel the other closer so much. "Why not?" A gentle laugh escaped Tahomaru. "Unfortunately, you don't understand that because you can't see anything." Was he making fun of him? "Oh, well then, explain it to me, sighted one." He laughed again, only this time it sounded throatier, deeper. "Well, the way you look right now, I probably couldn't control myself if we start kissing." What he looked like? The other's tone made his stomach tingle and his heart began to beat faster again. Fortunately, nothing hurt him anymore because he was lying very still. "Tell me..." He could hear Tahomarus breath quicken and he swallowed hard. "Your skin... is wet with sweat and your cheeks are a little red from the exertion." Tahomarus fingers, which had been on his lips the entire time, ran over his face, caressed his heated cheeks and brushed aside the hair that was stuck to his forehead. "You're still breathing too fast, that's why your lips are open and because your Keikogi has slipped, I can see your chest rising and falling." The fingers now slowly slid over his neck towards his collarbone, where they only stopped briefly before carefully feeling their way under the fabric that was still over his shoulders. Every place he touched tingled hot. "Besides, I can now see the love bruises and... bites that I left on the crook of your neck and your shoulders the day before yesterday." He was getting closer and closer and Hyakkimaru could now feel his warm breath on his neck. He tipped his head back, hoping that Tahomaru might put his lips to him. But he didn't, instead he put his second hand on him and slowly they stroked deeper, still opening the Keikogi a little further. "I can now also see that your nipples have hardened. I would love to lick them now, maybe bite a bit too?" Mean. Tahomaru enjoyed teasing him, he could hear that clearly. His lips were still too close to his skin without touching them. Shivers ran over his body as the other's breath continued to wander over him, lower and lower. His fingers brushed his clothing centimetre by centimetre, pulling on the fabric to reveal more and more of his skin. When Tahomaru had opened almost the entire front of his Keikogi, his hands ran lightly over Hyakkimarus sides, it tickled a little and a sigh escaped him. "It's such a shame that we can`t do more." With these words Tahomaru moved away from him and Hyakkimaru was about to protest, but then he felt Tahomaru sit on top of him, one leg on either side just below his hip. "Otherwise I would also like to check whether your nipples are the only thing that is hard ..." And with that he moved his pelvis a little forward and Hyakkimaru felt their hard members pressing together under the wide fabrics of the Hakamas. A throaty groan escaped him and his hands, which he had been holding next to him without moving, grabbed Tahomarus legs. He hadn't noticed how much Tahomarus words fanned his lust like flames. He wanted to feel him. He wanted Tahomaru to keep going. But he got up from his lap, breathing hard. "Well, as I said, we wouldn't be undisturbed here and it was enough for me that Dororo caught us kissing. I don't need a repetition or an intensification." He could hear that it was difficult for him, in his voice there was not only pleasure but also regret and his breath was just as driven as his own. That stupid thing about the feeling of shame, why should he miss something so beautiful now because of it? Not while he has a saying in it! He gritted his teeth and took Tahomarus hands to pull him back on him. His shoulder muscles burned, but it was bearable. The other called out in surprise. "Hey, no, really, that's not-" He silenced him by kissing him hard. His tongue penetrated deep into Tahomarus mouth, did not wait first to see him come towards him. One hand was on the back of the younger boy’s head, running his artificial fingers through his short hair. The other hand cupped his waist, hugging him tightly. Tahomaru arched his back, trying to keep their erections from touching, while he tried to protest in a choked voice. Hyakkimaru let his hand slide further down and came to lie on his bottom, massaging the firm muscle a little. Then Tahomaru gave up the resistance, instead lay completely on top of him, but supported part of his weight with elbows and knees. Hyakkimaru felt their penises rubbing against each other through the fabric as Tahomaru slowly moved his hips. Both escaped choked sighs, for he still had his tongue deep in Tahomarus mouth, even if it was slowly being pushed back. The fabric of his clothes felt unusually rough on his skin, he would have loved to take them off. But he wasn't sure if Tahomaru would change his mind if he let go of him now. So he would just enjoy it as best he could, because the other had obviously dropped all concerns and rubbed himself harder and harder against him. And suddenly he screamed, the body on top of him trembling and twitching, hitting his hip wildly against his. Ah, Tahomaru had an orgasm. How mean that he just cummed without him.

It was too much. Hyakkimarus hands caressing his head and bum, massaging him, but at the same time holding tight enough that he couldn't escape. His tongue pressed against his own deep inside. And his cock that pressed hard against his own through so many layers of fabric. He had lost control, rubbed against Hyakkimaru like an animal and was surprised by his climax. When his orgasmic mind started working again, he noticed two things. First, his sperm stuck the fabric of his clothes to his skin. Second, Hyakkimaru was still hard. And now he`s counting the cost. He had only satisfied his own lust and left his lover unsatisfied. He would love to hide away in a mouse hole now, but Hyakkimaru probably had other plans. He pulled him close again and wanted to kiss him, but Tahomaru now firmly pushed himself away from him and got up. The elder tried in vain to hold on to him, but he escaped. Think, Tahomaru. "Wait a minute." He went quickly to the door and it actually locked. Hopefully no one came to check on them now, for a door locked from the inside certainly raised questions. Then he took off his Hakama and was relieved to find that his ejaculation had not reached the fabric. Instead, next to his underwear, the inside of his Keikogi was moistened with his semen. He removed both, careful not to cause any more stains, and now stood completely naked in the room. "Tahomaru ..." Hyakkimaru had been watching him the whole time and was now reaching out to him again. He looked even more seductive than before, his lips were moistened with both of their saliva, he was breathing heavily. The expression on his face hovered between distant and frustrated. The Keikogi hung loosely from his torso, exposing his entire chest. Tahomaru swallowed hard. What options did he have now to satisfy his loved one? Hyakkimaru was getting impatient and now leaned on his forearms with a groan of pain. The Keikogi slid down over his shoulders. "Stop thinking and come here." He sounded almost like a defiant toddler and Tahomaru had to laugh a little. Then he covered the short distance, an idea had occurred to him. "Allright, I'll take care of you. Just sit up for a moment." Hyakkimaru did as he was told, Tahomaru sat down behind him and pulled him back again. They leaned back to chest now and Tahomaru, who had now put his head on his shoulder in front of him, set about undressing the older boy while he began to whisper in his ear. "I just remembered that I haven't told you yet what it was like to feel you inside me ..." He could hear Hyakkimarus breath quickening. Felt how he writhed in his arms. Saw goose bumps spreading wherever he touched Hyakkimaru. "At first it hurt a bit, but when you fingered me, I couldn't get enough ..." While he loosened the Hakamas straps, he let his lips wander slowly over Hyakkimarus shoulder to the crook of his neck, which made him sigh hoarsely. “There is nothing that can be compared to it.” Finally all the material was dissolved and his fingers set about to slide everything to the side or down that lay between them and the hot flesh. "It was the best orgasm of my life." His tongue had now made its way down Hyakkimarus neck and when Tahomaru bit tenderly every now and then, a throaty moan escaped him. “Do you want to feel it too? What it is like to be taken?” The hands had now found their destination, the fingers of one hand gently wrapped around the hard penis, while the other hand stroked Hyakkimarus testicles, massaging them gently. The older one literally melted with well-being, managed only a small nod, and kept moaning a name as if in prayer. "Ta-ahh-Tahomaru. Yes. Ahh. Tahomaru!" The named moved his hand slowly back and forth, at the same time pressing with his index finger on the tip, playing around the opening there. "Okay, then next time I'll fuck you ..." - "AHHH! TAHO!" It was foreseeable that Hyakkimaru would cum any second, so Tahomaru quickly held out his own already stained underwear and caught Hyakkimarus ejaculation with the fabric. Because he had no interest in explaining to Jukai why the training clothes were stained with semen. Hyakkimarus body trembled, his head fell forward from exhaustion, and Tahomarus hands moved up his body to support him. Then he saw it. How the skin on Hyakkimarus neck stretched over the vertebrae. Images appeared in his mind's eye, scenes like from a horror film. Tearing skin, bare bones, a bleeding gap, criss-crossed with veins, tendons, nerve tracts. Tahomaru got nauseous and he held on, pressed his face into Hyakkimarus back, clawed into the present. Hyakkimaru sat in front of him, just recovering from his orgasm, whimpering a little. Was he in so much pain? He tried to focus on what was actually before his eyes. Pale skin, soft and warm, thin and sensitive. Unharmed, whole. It was just an ugly memory, just a drop of blood in the bucket. "Tahomaru!" Yes, Hyakkimaru was definitely in pain. Tahomaru leaned forward a little, put his lips on the other's neck, ran his tongue over the vertebrae. Yes, it was good. Hyakkimaru tasted good. "Tahomaru, you hurt me!" He hurt him? Those words were like a gush of ice-cold water and Tahomaru felt as if he had suddenly been roused from his sleep. He let go of Hyakkimaru, slid away from him and his gaze fell on his right hand. There was fresh blood on his fingernails.

Tahomaru jumped up as if something had bitten him, hastily grabbed his clothes and ran out the door without a word. "Tahomaru!" A wound burned his own chest, Tahomaru had scratched him, he could feel drops of blood slowly running down his body. It hurts. But he couldn't give himself up to the pain now, he had to go after him. His hand. Tahomarus hand, the fingernails digging into his skin like claws, had been red. But not just a slight trace like at the beginning of their training, no. Bright, as if it had been completely immersed in paint. And not only that. It had also gotten bigger, drawn in weakening lines along the arm of the other, almost to his elbow. It crept up inside him and took possession of him. Hyakkimaru sensed something he was unfamiliar with. A knot formed in his stomach. A cold settled on him, pressed him down, threatened to paralyse him. Fear. That was the word. He was afraid. What if Tahomaru became a demon now? Would he try to kill him? Would he have to kill Tahomaru to get another piece of himself? Why did this even happen? Was it because the demons knew they were close to each other? They had set traps for him, chased him, one had even been in his room and hurt Papa. Did they want to take away another person from him whom he loved above all else? The cold gave way with one blow, the knot burst. Instead, something writhed inside him, hot, growling like an animal. He knew that feeling well. Anger. "TAHOMARU!" He said the doctor at his school had injured his hand, so the chances were high she was a demon. He got up from the couch as quickly as he could, straightening his clothes as he ran so that nothing was in his way. He had to tell him that he was in danger, that a demon would take possession of him, that he had to find this school doctor quickly and kill her. He wasn't in the locker room, but his bag was still in place. Was he to the toilets? Yes, as soon as he opened the door, he heard him. Halting breathing, irregular, suppressed. "Tahomaru ..." A startled gasp, then silence. He stood in front of the door of the cabin where he could hear Tahomaru and gently pressed his hand against it. Locked. "Tahomaru ... Come out, please." There was no answer, only Tahomarus pressed breathing could be heard. Hyakkimaru must try differently. "Why did you run away?" In fact, he wasn't quite clear about it. Yes, he had hurt him because a demon took control of him, but Hyakkimaru didn't understand the context. "... I... don't know..." At least he was talking to him. Hyakkimaru waited. "I... suddenly there was blood and... your back... I... I have..." His back? What had his... Yes, there was something. Tahomaru had been there when he got his spine. He had tried to send him away, but he hadn't listened and was probably not over it yet. If the other couldn't see blood right now, he had to wash it off quickly. He went to the sink and wiped the wound several times with his wet hand. That would have to be enough. "Tahomaru ... It's all good. Please come out." At first there was no reaction, then he heard the door unlock. When the other stood in front of him, only the faint red trace on his hand could be seen again. Tahomaru slowly raised his hand, fingers trembling on the deep scratches on his chest. Hyakkimaru almost didn't hear him when the younger whispered something. "... I did this." He preferred not to respond with words, instead he carefully removed the others hand from his chest and brought it to his face, to his lips. He kissed the fingertips and Tahomarus breath caught again as Hyakkimaru slowly licked them. Yes, he tasted his own blood, but it wasn't as much as he'd suspected. Tahomaru didn't react further, let him do, but Hyakkimaru felt his trembling. He couldn't taste blood on his fingers anymore, so he let his lips and tongue wander on, over the back of his hand and wrist. With the other hand he reached for Tahomaru and carefully pulled him close. Since he hadn't closed his Keikogi when he had hurried out of the first aid room in search of the other, he could now feel that Tahomaru hadn't got dressed again. They pressed skin to skin and Hyakkimaru let go of Tahomarus hand, grabbed the loose ends of the garment and closed his arms behind Tahomarus back. It was almost like he had a blanket wrapped around them both. Under the fabric, the younger now in turn put his hands around Hyakkimaru, hugging him as close as possible. And so they stayed for what felt like an eternity, in which no one spoke a word, only listening to each other's breath and heartbeat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello dear readership,
> 
> I hope you are doing well and enjoyed the chapter. Unfortunately, I don't know whether there really are such educational measures for disadvantaged children in Japan. Can someone help me there? Otherwise I'll declare this again as artistic freedom. Otherwise ... yes, too much happened at once again. This is slowly mutating into a roller coaster ... Huiiiii ~ Thanks for reading and stay healthy <3
> 
> Sincerely yours
> 
> Otakuplant


	17. Equivalence

Itachi was exactly where he has always been. The deafening noise of the pachinko hall boomed in his skull and Jukai was sure that he would have a headache afterwards. He stood only a few seconds behind the man, who seemed completely absorbed in his game, but the fingers on the rotary lever inconspicuously indicated a number, three. So three minutes. He went on and pretended to watch a game or two for a moment, just enough that it didn't get rude. When he got to the toilets, he made a quick check to see if anyone was inside. Nobody was there but him. He went to one of the sinks and washed his hands leisurely when Itachi also entered the room and stood next to him at a sink. "I knew that I would see you again soon. How is the offer?" Jukai said nothing for a moment, shaking the drops of water from his hands. "Do you know what a lobotomy is?" Itachi didn't even flinch, but his posture became more tense. He understood that he wouldn't accept. "No, and I don`t want to know. I'd rather know why you're here, even though you refuse." - "I am interested in who the sender of the letter is that you slipped me." The man began to laugh in surprise. "That interests you? Honestly, have you forgotten that it is damaging to the reputation when the courier calls his client? You are really slowly getting ol-" He got no further, because Jukai had grabbed his neck in a flash and pressed his fingers from below into the temporomandibular joint and the internal carotid arteries. Itachi raised his arms to defend himself, but the other's grip was so deliberate that he wouldn't have a chance to wriggle out of the grip before he passed out. "I will just ask one more time: Who is the client?" Itachi was too smart not to answer, for the most staunch principles were of no use when one was dead. "D-Daigo ... Kagemitsu." Immediately the hand on his neck disappeared, but the man had no opportunity to recover, because now the same hand grabbed his forehead, fingers pressed into his temples but he suppressed any sound of pain. "Thank you very much for your cooperation. Don't worry, no one will notice that you have squealed. But only under two conditions. First: tell the client that I would accept. Can you do that?" Itachi tried to nod and failed miserably. Now he started to whimper because Jukai increased the pressure. "Second, if anyone ever asks about me again in the future, just say I'm dead, got it?" Another hint of a nod. Jukai let go, Itachi stumbled backwards and fell to the floor, hands pressed to his skull, still whimpering miserably in pain. "It's nice that you understand, Kouhai. Now go play again." Itachi didn't have to be told twice, he staggered through the door and Jukai was alone again. Daigo Kagemitsu. The father of Tahomaru, the boy Hyakkimaru fell in love with. He was interested what kind of problem such an influential man had that he immediately set up a hit man on his own son's boyfriend. Jukai fixed his gaze on the hand with which he had just grabbed Itachi. It wasn't trembling, he was completely calm. Controlled. He turned back to the sink and washed his hands again.

"Hyakkimaru, you're kidding right now, aren't you?" It had to be like that, he couldn't really mean it. "Why should I be kidding?" Yes, he was serious. Tahomaru didn't want to believe it, but the other went on: "The school doctor is a demon. She takes possession of you through the wound on your hand. It was just very strong, your whole hand was red." He had to digest that first. He leaned against the locker room wall and looked at the palm of his hand. The wounds healed well, there were only a few thin crusts to be seen and the words could no longer be read. His mind resisted the information, but his feeling said otherwise. He trusted Hyakkimaru. He had seen a demon with his own eyes and the wounds on his upper body that this monster moth had inflicted on him had not yet healed. He would be an idiot to question Hyakkimarus expertise in this area. Still, his mind demanded an explanation, even if he basically already knew it. "It happens because we're together." The older one nodded. "To get me through you. I don't know why, but the attacks are happening more and more often." With these words, Hyakkimaru, who had now sat down on the bench next to him, moved closer to him, pressing their shoulders together. "This demon noticed that we are close. He thinks that I wouldn't kill you. But he made a mistake." Tahomaru opened his eyes wide and looked at the boy next to him. At that moment the door opened and Saru came in with the other boy to change. This conversation seemed over for the time being, but then he heard Hyakkimaru whisper: "I will kill the demon before it gets you."

"Hey, great that you waited. Aniki, are you feeling better again?" Dororo had been worried, but since she knew that he was in good hands with Tahomaru, she had refrained from looking after him herself. Hyakkimaru just nodded, a smile on his face. Tahomaru, however, seemed to be a little restless, he looked out the window at the rain and then typed something on his phone. "Hey, should Mutsu give you a ride home?" It sounded like a great idea to her. The way home was not far, but the rain that had been falling without a break since the night before last had already turned some paths into small lakes and it bordered on a feat that they had come to the training session fairly dry. But Hyakkimaru disagreed. "No, I want to walk." Tahomaru looked at him slightly confused and there was concern in his voice. "Don't you think that it might still be too much for you? You just nearly passed out." Hyakkimaru slowly shook his head and Dororo could guess why he didn't want to drive by car. He wanted to feel the rain, hear it, smell it. On the way here she had had to stop him from simply throwing his umbrella away. She doubted she would be able to do that on the way home. Then an idea occurred to her. "Hey, we can do it like this: You both go on foot and I'll bring the bags home with Mutsu-nesan! Then Aniki can play a little in the rain, has a guardian and I won't get wet!" From her point of view, it was a perfect plan. Tahomaru didn't look convinced. "Oh, and who says I want to get wet?" Then Hyakkimaru leaned close to him and whispered something in his ear that she couldn't understand. The younger one looked puzzled for a moment before he began to grin widely. Hyakkimaru must have convinced him. How he did it she didn't want to know.

"Yes, we can do that, but I have to make an appointment later and can't pick you up. You will have to come home alone." She had no problem with Tahomaru changing his plans, but she wasn't always on call either. She wasn't a taxi, after all, and had a private life that was nobody's business. Everyone loaded their training and Shinai bags into the trunk and Dororo got into the back seat. "Yeah, I'll get home somehow, see you tonight." When the doors of the car were closed and Mutsu drove over, she glanced in the driving mirror. The child on the back lolled into the seat, looking slightly exhausted. "Well, was training today tough?" Dororo did not turn to her but continued to look out the window. "Yes, but it's always exhausting and the rain makes me tired. Thank you for taking me home, Mutsu-nesan." The girl suppressed a yawn. "No problem, Dororo-chan." Now Dororo was staring at her unexpectedly through the mirror, defiance in the girl's eyes. "Just Dororo please. I don't like the -chan." How so? "All right, sorry." The child looked out the window again and Mutsu watched her whenever the traffic allowed it. The posture, the clothes, the way of speaking. Everything about Dororo looked more boyish than usual with the average girl. She rejected the suffix -chan after her name, but did not oppose the title >> Little Sister <<. "Dororo, please forgive my curiosity, but why don't you like the -chan?" The child's gaze stayed out of the window. "Because I just don't like it. That always sounds like the other person thinks I'm weaker than I really am." So weakness. "Do you think that you are weak?" She just shrugged. "I'm a child. Of course I'm physically inferior to adults. But that doesn't mean I'm defenceless ... You know, Mutsu-nesan, I've lived on the street for some time. Do you think I'd sit here now if I were weak?" Yes, it was indicated the day before yesterday that Dororo did not come from an ordinary family. But that this girl was actually a stray was not addressed. She would love to know what Dororos life had been like so far, but she doubted the child would just tell her like that. "No, probably not." Both were silent for the rest of the drive and when Mutsu stopped in front of the Itou practice, Dororo fell asleep.

Tahomaru now knew what Dororo had meant when she said that Hyakkimaru could "play in the rain". There was no other way of naming how the older boy trudged across the rain-soaked streets, swung his umbrella around and stepped into every puddle that was on their way. Inside the gumboots he was wearing, the water swashed over the edge and Tahomaru wasn't sure how the other had managed this in the first place. They weren't even five minutes outside and Hyakkimaru was completely soaked. Fortunately, he had listened to the girl and taken Hyakkimarus phone, otherwise it would already have been drowned. It was actually a very strange sight to see a sixteen-year-old hopping around in the rain like a little child, but Tahomaru now understood why. Until two weeks ago, the older one hadn't had the opportunity to even feel anything like that. The rain on your skin, sticking your clothes to you and giving off a very special smell. So he should do it if it made him happy. Nobody else was around to give him strange looks anyway. Hyakkimaru didn't seem to be in pain any more, at least judging by the way he was jumping through the water. He recovered really absurdly quickly. Suddenly he stopped, stared into a blocked underpass that branched off next to them and ran under the train tracks. The water in it was at least ankle deep, the lights had failed. "What's going on? Is there anything?" He couldn't see anything in it except the dark water, but Hyakkimaru took a few steps towards it, passed the barrier and stopped right in front of the water. Tahomaru looked around for a moment, there was still no one but them on the street, not even a car drove along here. Even for such a rainy Sunday it seemed strange to him now. He also walked around the barrier and stood next to Hyakkimaru. He had knelt and dipped a hand in the water. When he pulled it out again, he eyed it suspiciously. "Tahomaru. Does the water look weird?" - "No, why? Do you see anything?" Hyakkimaru didn't answer immediately, but licked his wet fingers, tasted the water, and spat it out again. "Salt water. And there's something red in there." Salt water? Something red? He took Hyakkimaru by the shoulder. If it had anything to do with demons, they shouldn't get too close for now. It could be an ambush because Hyakkimaru had said it himself: the demons were becoming more aggressive. He didn't get to say anything, because suddenly he felt a push, fell over into the water and everything went dark.

The water wasn't a puddle, it was an ocean. He and Tahomaru had fallen into it like a large basin. Where was up, where down? He heard noises, but he couldn't name any of them and everything was somehow dull. In the distance he saw two big red things, they were moving in a circle around them. His lungs burned, but he couldn't open his mouth or he would breathe water. Drown. That was the word. He would drown. Beside him he could see Tahomaru who apparently knew where up was. He quickly grabbed one of his arms so he would take him up. He needed air! Tahomaru seemed to have understood, he pulled him by his shoulder. Hyakkimaru tried to imitate his movements, his legs stepped down in the water and actually his head reached the surface, he could take a breath. Beside him he heard Tahomaru coughing and cursing, he had an arm around him. "Breathe evenly, if you have air in your lungs you won't sink!" He pulled him with him to the place where the sea puddle ended and where a one-armed person was now standing. Had this person pushed them into this strange water, which was so much bigger below than above?! Tahomaru wanted to go to the edge of the sea puddle again, but the stranger kicked after him and the younger one backed away. "Well, well, it doesn't work that way. I can't let you out, my brothers are hungry after all." The brothers are hungry. Hyakkimaru took a deep breath and sticks his head under the water again, against the resistance of Tahomaru, who wanted to pull him back up. Yes, he saw it. The two large red auras had come closer, they looked like large fish. He came up again. "Demons in the water!" Tahomaru seemed to understand, he pulled him back to the edge with him and when the other person kicked him again, he grabbed the leg and pulled the man into the water. Now they had a few seconds. Tahomaru tried to pull himself out of the water, but Hyakkimaru stopped him. "The demons, I'll kill them!" - "You remember that you can't swim?!" - "I need you! Pull me up when I sink!" And then he breathed out and went under again. Even if he had never learned to swim, he would somehow manage it. He trusted that Tahomaru wouldn't let him drown. The one-armed man had swam away from them, he didn't want to be in the way of the demons at lunch. The first was coming straight at him now, Hyakkimaru quickly unlocking the blades in both of his arms. This fish was really big, so he could use that to his advantage. He curled up in a ball, made himself as small as possible and when the fish wanted to snap at him, he thrust the cutting edges up and down into the demon's mouth. He felt something pointy pressing into his right leg, but he couldn't take it into account now. His knees found support on something rough and he braced himself against it with all his strength, while his head and back held the upper part of the mouth open. And then he stabbed as fast and as often as he could up, from the inside into the demon's head. After a few stabs, he noticed that he got dizzy and had to take a breath. He peeled out of the mouth, which now stood wide open on its own, the red faded, the first died. Now he had to go up. Where was up? Then he felt a hand on his back, it gripped his shirt and pulled him to the surface. His body felt kind of heavy now and his vision was fading. His thoughts became slow. He could just barely see that the second demon was now pouncing on the first and starting to eat him up. Huh, weird. Then his head was above water, he gasped for air, but choked and began to cough violently. He felt that he was being pulled and after a short time sat on firm ground. It slowly got better again, his vision returned, the dizziness subsided. But his sides ached again, the salt from the water burned in his throat. His leg was injured again, he felt the wound burn. But it wasn't over yet, there was still a demon in the water. He tried to get up, but Tahomaru held him. "No, forget it! You almost died! Drowned or eaten by a monster! Right now you are in no condition to-" Tahomaru broke off his sentence because they heard something. It was a rumble, like thunder, coming from the water. Hyakkimaru saw something move beneath the surface, approaching. It was bigger than the first.

Tahomaru never had to watch a horror movie again in his life. He got his share, thanks for asking. His hope that Hyakkimaru was out of danger just because he pulled him out of the water burst like a soap bubble. Because the monster that rose out of the water now had legs. Grotesque, fin-like bones, but they were legs. He pulled Hyakkimaru up, they had to get away from this thing! But the other one didn't even think about running away. "Listen! Either you help me or you get out of the way! If you hinder me we die! Make up your mind!" And with that he faced the monster, whose front half now protruded completely out of the water. Hyakkimaru could be such a prick! Of course he would help him, he had been doing it all along! But what was so wrong with withdrawing to give yourself a few seconds to think? He looked around hastily. Couldn't he use anything here as a weapon? And be it just stones to throw, he needed something to distract the beast. His gaze caught on the barriers, large wooden slats nailed together. Better than nothing! He kicked it and the boards actually came apart, Tahomaru was able to grab one and turned back to the monster. Hyakkimaru meanwhile avoided the demon as best he could, but the underpass limited both of them in their movement. The demon did not seem to come out of the water, it was too big to fit completely upright in the underpass. Again and again its head hit the ceiling, small stones loosened and fell down. Surely he wouldn't destroy the overpass? Hyakkimaru tried to injure the monster, but he couldn't get past the gigantic mouth with the huge teeth and he doubted that at this size he could do as much from the throat as with the first. Tahomaru pushed the wood away from him like a spear and struck right in the monster's jaws. This closed its mouth briefly and Hyakkimaru took the chance, he jumped lightning fast up the side of the head and stabbed in one eye. Then he swung himself forward on his nose just in time for the monster to ram his head aside with a roar. Had he been in front of the eye, he would have been crushed. Tahomaru did not want to give the beast a chance to reorient itself and threw the next board into the wide gullet. It worked, and the other took the opportunity to stab his blades deep into the monster's skull. Once more the demon threw himself against all the walls of the underpass, the ground trembled under Tahomarus feet and finally the monster fell back into the water. And it dragged Hyakkimaru with it, blades still stuck in his head. "Hyakkimaru!" He jumped after as fast as he could, but in the darkness he could hardly see anything, the salt water stung his eyes, but he forced himself not to close them. There, he could see Hyakkimaru a little bit below him, kicking his legs wildly and trying to get up. But his arms were gone, he had to have loosened them somehow in order not to sink further down. Tahomaru dove for him and managed to pull him up. Finally out of the water both gasped greedily for air while the pouring rain still fell down on them. They lived, thank the gods, they lived! He looked at Hyakkimaru, who was still on the ground, breathing hard. It was the first time he sees him without the prosthetic arms. The two stumps in which his upper arms ended roughly in the middle were strangely round at the end and just below the shoulder joints he could see discoloured pressure points that went around once. He looked downright fragile, like a doll whose limbs had been torn off. His thoughts were suddenly disturbed when he heard a loud gurgle from the underpass. The water there bubbled as if it was boiling. And Hyakkimaru began to scream, writhing and kicking his legs wildly in the air and on the ground. What came next? "TA-TAHO!" He held out his arm stumps, his face contorted with pain, and Tahomaru understood. His own arms wrapped around the thin body, holding him tight as he screamed his agony. And after what felt like an eternity it was over again, Hyakkimarus screams fell silent, only his panting betrayed what he had just been through. Tahomaru now dared to look at him. What was different? The eyelids were still half closed over glass eyes, the stumps of the arms hung limp at the sides. So there was only the leg left. And yes, there was the prosthesis next to two human legs made of flesh and blood. Gumboot, barefoot, gumboot. If the stress of the fight hadn't kept Tahomaru still under control, he'd probably find the sight funny. His fingers moved as if by themselves to the newly won body part, ran from the hem of the shorts down the thigh to the knee. Warm. Soft. Real skin. Vulnerable. Hyakkimaru trembled, cried. He struggled to sit up in his embrace, panting heavily. "Arms. Please." Yes, he needed his arms. Without them he was completely helpless. Tahomaru had little hope of finding them, however, they had sunk into the depths with the monster. Nonetheless, he briefly helped the other to sit down firmly and went back to the underpass. The water was still there, but it looked different now. Less dark, he could clearly see the ground and in fact Hyakkimarus arms were lying there between quite a lot of rubble. Carefully he stepped through the water and picked up the prostheses. It was only ankle deep. He looked around briefly. The angry demon had done quite a bit of damage, large pieces of the overpass had broken in many places. They should tell someone quickly that this railway bridge was now impassable. But how should they explain it? Then he saw someone lying in the water. The young one-armed man who had pushed them earlier was lying face down, lapped by red streaks, right next to his head was a particularly large piece of debris. He didn't move and Tahomaru didn't want to see if he was still alive, so he just turned and left. Was he a murderer now? He would probably have had a different answer from other people, but his answer was clear in his head. No. He wasn't a murderer. And neither was Hyakkimaru.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello dear readership,  
> I hope you are doing well. Well, Jukai actually lets the monster within out to play. Tahomaru, meanwhile, seems to be getting along with the all the madness. Good boy :) I hope my description of the fight scene was readable, I am always a little unsure about that. You will also have noticed by now that Hyakkimaru is not quite as overpowered as in the anime (or every other adaption by the way). After all, he's human and the more of himself he gets back, the more vulnerable he becomes. Even if he doesn't notice it himself, he wouldn't be able to do it alone. He needs others.
> 
> See you next chapter and thank you for reading.
> 
> Sincerely yours
> 
> Otakuplant
> 
> P.S.: Some may have noticed but others didn`t: I started drawing stuff to this fic. Yes, that`s how obsessed I`m with it. Anyway, I will add pictures in the chapters (covers and scenes) with every update (mostly around the night from Thursday to Friday UTC 0 give or take an hour or two...) as far I have drawn them by the time, so it will take a while until it`s as far as the story...
> 
> But for anyone who is interested, I`m also drawing more for this fic (mostly Taho and Hyakki beeing in love in one way or the other...). So if you`re into and up to it, just go this way:  
> https://www.deviantart.com/otakuplant/gallery/77199659/sonolumineszenz-fanfiction-art


	18. Refraction

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warnings: self-injury, attempted suicide

Right leg, left leg, right leg, left leg. The rain was still pattering from the sky, he heard almost nothing except this constant rustling. Right, left, right, left. Tahomaru had an arm around him, supporting him, leading him. Step, step, step, step. His legs ached, one because of the injury, the other because of the many stimuli that overwhelmed the new nerve endings. He was so tired ... When did he stop going? "Hyakkimaru, hey, Hyakkimaru." Tahomarus voice barely got through to him, it sounded like he was still under water. Far away. Quiet. "Don't fall asleep, we'll be there soon." Sleep. Sleep sounded good. It was difficult for him to focus on anything. He was kind of hot and cold at the same time. "Hyakkimaru ... you have a fever." Sleep.

"Take him to treatment room two and undress him. I'll get him new clothes to wear quickly." Tahomaru carried Hyakkimaru into the room, sat him on a chair and did as he was told, while Jukai briefly disappeared into Hyakkimarus room. The wet fabric was difficult to remove from the other's body and Tahomaru had to be careful that Hyakkimaru didn't fall off the chair. Should he take off his underwear too? Jukai finally came back with a large pile of clothes and towels and answered his unasked question by getting to the point of removing the last piece of clothing from Hyakkimarus body and giving Tahomaru a towel. "Please dry him off." Even though Jukai was Hyakkimarus father and a doctor, the situation felt strange to him. Not just because Hyakkimaru was completely naked for a short time while they both dried him off. No, it was also the fact that the man could now see all traces of their sexual activities. Fortunately, this uncomfortable feeling subsided quickly when they had dressed him again, laid him on the treatment couch and Jukai gave him the rest of the clothes, including towels, that he had brought with him. "Go get changed. You're soaking wet too." He accepted the items gratefully and gave Hyakkimaru another concerned look before going through the connecting doors. When he arrived in Hyakkimarus room, he undressed and dried himself off. Meanwhile he let his gaze wander around the room again. Everything was organized in a very functional way. Basically there was just a bed, a chest of drawers, a sofa by the door and the piano in the room. The room would have looked lifeless had it not been for the many potted plants on all surfaces. All the plants looked healthy and bloomed in full splendour, none of them even had a dead leaf. Did Hyakkimaru take care of them all by himself? When he was finally completely dry, he wrapped his wet clothes in the towel and looked at the clothes Jukai had given him. They belonged to Hyakkimaru. Sure, to whom else. Tahomaru hoped they would fit him before he sighed and got dressed.

Hyakkimaru was pale and breathing too shallow, pulse and temperature increased. He was still waiting for the results of the blood tests, but a glance at the fresh wounds was enough for him, as they showed clear signs of inflammation. Probably a bacterial infection. He would probably have to give antibiotics. More important was the fact that he now had both legs. So the wounds came from fighting a demon. Was that why they got infected? Because if Jukai remembered correctly, Hyakkimaru has never actually been sick. It is true that he was often tired, ate too little, had a lousy sleep rhythm and every now and then fell over from exhaustion. No denying that. But he couldn't remember Hyakkimaru ever having a fever. He then had to ask Tahomaru the details and watch the wounds very carefully. When he had cleaned and bandaged the injuries, he briefly examined Hyakkimarus left leg. Yes, everything was as it should be. All that was missing now were his arms and eyes. Then he would be complete ... That thought was strange. He was so used to the fact that Hyakkimaru lived with limitations and needed help in many everyday tasks that he could not even imagine how he lived a completely normal life. What would he do then?

After they put Hyakkimaru in his bed, Tahomaru told all he could remember about the demon attack. Jukai listened without a word, and when he finished the man sighed heavily. "Thank you for accompanying him. Had you not been there, it could have ended bad. Have you already been able to tell anyone about the underpass?" Tahomaru nodded. "Yes, we passed a Koban on the way here." - "Well, then we don't have to worry about it ... You know, because he has only recently started to feel pain, Hyakkimaru tends to act carelessly. I have spoken to his conscience about this before, but obviously it's just part of his nature." Yes, he had noticed. He had trained to the point of collapse and fought the demons regardless of loss. "Tahomaru, how are you doing with that?" He looked at Jukai a little blankly before he understood the question. How did he feel about having faced a monster for the second time? How did he feel about Hyakkimaru risking his life? Tahomaru thought for a while, and his answer surprised himself. He was doing surprisingly well with it. Yes, the demons scared him, only a fool would have denied it, but they weren't invincible. Yes, he was afraid for Hyakkimaru, but for all the daring he showed, Tahomaru also had the feeling that he assessed the situation quite realistically. He had relied on him, included him in his struggle. The thought that such an impressively strong fighter like Hyakkimaru would naturally entrust him to back him up suddenly filled him with pride. He trusted him. "I think it's okay. Yes, I'm fine with it." Jukai looked surprised for a moment, then smiled. However, after this fight, Tahomaru had asked himself a question. "Jukai-san, the man who pushed us into the water... He called the demons his brothers... Why does a person bond so emotionally to a demon?" No sooner had he said the question than it seemed naive to him, but Jukai seemed to be seriously considering it. "Perhaps they serve not only material desires, but also emotional ones? Even if I can't imagine that this satisfaction of needs can last ..." Emotional desires... Tahomaru gradually felt the exhaustion of today's exertions, he wanted to go home. Jukai offered him a ride home, but he declined with thanks. Despite everything, a walk would do him good, help him sorting his thoughts out.Since his own phone was unusable because of the involuntary bath in the sea puddle, he borrowed Jukais cell phone to write his mother a message. When they said goodbye, Jukai promised that Hyakkimaru would contact him when he was better and Tahomaru went on his way. The rain was still pouring down on the umbrella and in his wet shoes the water made a faint smacking noise with every step, drowned out again and again by the splashing of car and bicycle tires on the road. After a while, something about the noises struck him as strange and he stopped. There. Had he imagined it? He took a few more steps, only to stop abruptly again. No, he didn't imagine it. It was one step too many. Right behind him. Tahomaru looked around, but none of the few other passers-by who were walking in this weather was even near him. Well, if there were giant moths and monster sharks, why shouldn't he also take the classic yokai seriously? It was said that Betobeto-san only appeared at night, but what did he have to lose? He couldn't do much more than make a fool of himself in front of himself, so he took a step aside and bowed. "Please go ahead, Betobeto-san." He hoped that no one had seen this and after a few moments went on. At first he thought he had actually solved the problem, but when he had to stop at a traffic light, it was back. The extra step right behind him. His pulse quickened and he swallowed hard. If it wasn't Betobeto-san, what then? He couldn't think of a comparable story, but while he was racking his brain, his gaze fell on the distorted reflection of a shop window opposite. It ran down his spine as cold as ice, because in the reflection there was a shadow behind him. Yakonari-sensei. Yako ... His right palm was starting to burn again and he clenched it into a fist, hoping to suppress the trembling that was now taking hold of it. He heard himself whisper, "You won't get me." She grinned, her reflection grabbing his right hand and raising it in front of his face. As if he had no control over his body, his real hand followed its reflection. He saw blood, thought his wounds were open again. But there were new words. >> YOU`RE CUTE WHEN YOU`RE AFRAID << The pedestrian light jumped to green and the shadow was gone. Tahomaru covered the rest of the way as if in a trance, while all sorts of thoughts jumped like rubber balls in his head.

Haunted.

What did she get from scaring him?

Control.

His hand had moved even though he didn't want to.

Yako.

She did this because she wanted to get Hyakkimaru.

Fear.

She took possession of him.

Demon.

Was he a danger to Hyakkimaru now?

Fox.

He couldn't run from her.

Cursed.

How much of him could she get under her control without him noticing?

Hyakkimaru.

He had to get rid of it as soon as possible.

Hand.

His hand.

He blinked. When had he arrived at home? Why was his left hand holding a kitchen knife against his right forearm? He dropped the knife, and it clattered to rest on the wooden floorboards. Blood dripped onto the floor from a cut on his arm. A dry laugh escaped Tahomarus throat. Haunted. His legs gave out and he sank to the floor. Did you notice when you lose your mind? Reality slowly crept back into his perception and what he saw made his blood run cold. "Mother?" She laid just three feet from him on the kitchen floor. "Mother, are you alright?! Mama!" He shook her, but she didn't react, was pale as death, her skin ice cold. Panic spread through him, his head was empty and he had no idea what to do. What? What? What? Emergency call. Emergency call! The voice on the phone talked to him, asked things, he gave answers, did as he was told. Was she hurt? No, he didn't think so. Was she breathing? Yes, she was breathing. An ambulance was about to arrive. Did he know how the recovery position worked? Yes, yes, he knew it. Could he move her into the recovery position? He tried, yes, it worked. Did he know why she was passed out? No, that's how he found her. Tahomaru heard the sirens approaching from outside. He had to open the door. She was about to be taken to the hospital. He let the paramedics in, they examined her briefly, injected her with something and quickly put her on a stretcher. He should come and take her ID with him. He searched briefly to see if her wallet was somewhere in the kitchen. Yes, on the kitchen counter. Next to an empty pack of sleeping pills.

Breaking news: Daigo Nui, Mr. Daigo Kagemitsus wife, was hospitalized this afternoon. According to an unspecified source, her life is in danger. The reason has not yet been made public, but according to a witness report, a knife and traces of blood were secured at the location. The couple's son is also said to be receiving medical treatment. The witness stated that the boy was also injured. According to the current state of the investigation, there was no outside person in the house. The investigations are ongoing.

He had to do something, anything. The attention of the people further restricted his freedom of movement, he stood with his back to the wall. How long would it take for the "Internist" to act? According to the courier, the order was accepted and in the letter he had made it clear that the matter had to be done as soon as possible. But now one more of the demons had fallen and it had direct effects on his wife. He had seen the box. She tried to kill herself. And then also Tahomaru. Had he also tried to kill himself by cutting open his arm? He was pulling his hair when a message came in on his cell phone. That would be nothing unusual in and of itself, all of his party colleagues wanted to know from him what was going on and how he intended to keep the damage to a minimum. No, the point was, he actually turned the device off! But then the words appeared on the screen.

_I told you, but you foolish old man wouldn't listen. How long do you want to wait? X X X_

That damned vixen. It wasn't that far yet, he still had a few trump cards up his sleeve. On the one hand the human contractor, on the other hand there were the Nue siblings. They had already assured him that the problem would be resolved tonight. While both options came at a price, it was worth it and even better than sacrificing Tahomaru. That cursed boy, Itou Hyakkimaru, finally had to die.

Exclusive: Family drama! What do we know about the incident at the Daigo estate? These are the facts: According to media reports, this afternoon there was an emergency doctor and police operation on the property of politician Daigo Kagemitsu (49), as a result of which his wife Nui (34) and his son Tahomaru (15) were admitted to hospital injured. Nothing is known about the state of health of the two, but the circumstances suggest that it could be a violent crime within the family, as a blood-smeared knife and a certain amount of blood was found in the kitchen. Long-time friends and neighbours of the family say that there had been noisy disputes quite often and that the son had unusual injuries recently. This fits into the picture of the broken conditions behind the facade of a normal family (we reported). The politician, who is currently worried about his mandate, could not be reached for a statement. According to internal police information, he said he was on the premises at the time of the incident, but not in the house. Our reporters will keep you up to date.

It was a new place. People ran around, past him, through him. He didn't want to be here, he was looking for a way out. A door opened on either side, a human came out, and Hyakkimaru just walked through. There was this soul that he had seen so often with the little glow. But it was pale, weak. Why? And next to it sat ... Tahomaru? Yes, he held onto the other soul. That was new too. Tahomaru had never appeared in this kind of dream. His legs carried him to their side as if by themselves. He heard something again and concentrated.

_Mama._

Tahomarus voice.

_Mama, please._

His voice sounded tight. Something beeped.

_Stay with me._

So that was Tahomarus Mama.

_I haven't told you everything yet. You know, I'm not only in love with Hyakkimaru. We are already in a relationship._

He let out a strange laugh.

_Yeah, I know Father wouldn't like that at all. He doesn't have to know that either. But its fine with you, isn't it? Mama._

He sounded so incredibly desperate.

_I want to introduce him to you soon, you would surely like him. So please ... please ... don't die._

Don`t die. Tahomarus Mama was dying? He looked at her closely. Her soul remained unchanged, did not get darker, but also not lighter. It was right in between. He didn't want that, he liked her, had known her for so long without knowing who she was. Was this really a dream? As if by itself, his body leaned past Tahomaru and he pressed his forehead to hers, rubbing them together. "Tahomarus Mama, you mustn't die." Her soul didn't respond, but Tahomaru held his breath, turning in his direction. His hand rose as if about to put it on him. And touched him and at the same time not before he suddenly withdrew his fingers as if he had hurt himself. Could this really be? He cupped Tahomarus cheeks. The other was now very still and slowly Hyakkimaru put his lips on Tahomarus, gave him a gentle kiss. Could he feel it? When he pulled away from him, he heard a whisper.

_Hyakkimaru?_

The next moment he was in his own bed. He woke up. And felt miserable.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello dear readership, nice that you are still there. The events are casting their shadows, three quarters of the story are through, we are inexorably moving towards the finale. But it's not over yet. :) You will have already noticed that the situation is gradually worsening. I hope you still have fun reading despite the now harder stuff and stick to it.
> 
> Thank you and stay safe
> 
> Sincerely yours
> 
> Otakuplant
> 
> P.S .: If you don't know Betobeto-San, you should google it. Is funny.
> 
> P.S.S.: I think it`s “interesting” that in Japan women can marry at the age of 16 while men have to be 18 at least... The age of majority is 20 by the way.


	19. Implicated

News: + + + Family drama triggers political tremor! The incident involving the family of MP Daigo Kagemitsu sparked a serious crisis of confidence in Parliament. A few politicians are calling for his immediate resignation from all offices, because "someone who abuses his own family should never be held responsible for so many citizens." + + +

He was it. Hyakkimaru. Somehow he had been by his side until just now. He couldn't see him, but he'd felt him, kissed him. Was he ... a ghost? Panic spread through him. Had something happened to Hyakkimaru? He quickly searched his mother's belongings, yes, her phone was there, and when he unlocked it with her fingerprint, the first thing it showed him was an unread message from an unknown number.

_Hello mother, this is Tahomaru. I'm writing to you from the phone of Hyakkimaru father, Itou-sensei. My phone is not working and I will be late because of the rain, please don't worry. See you later._

When he read the message, he felt the lump in his throat and found it difficult to breathe. He gripped his mother's hand tighter, afraid of letting go. How could the day develop like this? Whereby, the question was wrongly asked. How could his whole life turn into such a disaster in just one week? When he closed the message, he also saw that the same number had tried to call a few times. He pressed the callback button and waited for Jukai to answer. "Tahomaru?" - "Hello Jukai-san." Was he expecting his call so urgently? "Did you get home safely?" What should he answer to this question? Yes, despite a demonic appearance with a subsequent blackout he had arrived home, where he first wanted to cut off his arm and then found his mother on the ground after a failed suicide attempt? "... Yes ... is ... is something wrong with Hyakkimaru?" If Jukai noticed his evasive behaviour, he said nothing. "He's lying in bed and sleeping. Tahomaru, I have to know something else. When you fought the demon this afternoon, did you see a snake somewhere?" A snake? He tried to remember. No, he hadn't seen any. How then, they were in the middle of the city. This answer seemed to worry Jukai, judging by his silence, he thought about it. Tahomaru was relieved that the other was doing well given the circumstances, but now something else was on his mind. "Would it be possible for me to speak to Hyakkimaru briefly?" - "... I'll see if he's awake. Please wait a moment." Tahomaru couldn't hear anything for a while, just a muffled noise, then someone was on the phone again. "Taho... maru ..." Hyakkimaru. He sounded weak, tired. He was alive. He wasn't a ghost. But what was that then? "Hyakkimaru... have you just been with me?" A short silence. "You... felt me ..." It was a statement, not a question. "Yes, how...?" Hyakkimaru didn`t answer, instead he heard Jukais low voice again. "I'm sorry, he fell asleep again. His fever is pretty high and-" At that moment he heard Dororo call out. She sounded very nervous and he didn't understand what she was saying, but apparently she was just picking up the phone from Jukai. "Tahomaru! Oh god, are you okay? The news says you and your mum are injured and in the hospital!" News? What news? He had no idea, was just with his mother the whole time. For him, the world outside of this room had no longer existed. He heard Jukai and Dororo talking, she seemed to be explaining something to him. He took the phone from his ear and briefly opened a news page. Indeed, they were the top news of the moment. But ... that wasn't true! His mother suffered from depression for years, why was that worth reporting now? That was nobody's business! He wasn't neglected! Family drama? Of course they argued sometimes, he was a teenager, damn it! That didn't automatically mean that he was mistreated! What? His father had nothing to do with it! "-MARU! TAHOMARU, ARE YOU STILL HERE?" He closed the browser and put the phone to his ear. He didn't know what to say, was simply stunned. "... Yes... I'm here..." - "You didn't even know, did you? Then you better not read anything more, everyone is overturning on all channels because of this. And the comment columns are overflowing with experts. Now finally say, how are you? Are you really in the hospital? " The girl's voice was full of concern. "Yes, I cut myself with the kitchen knife. But it wasn't that bad. My mother..." What should he say? The two genuinely worried about him, he didn't want to lie to them. "My mother tried to kill herself. She took my father's sleeping pills, all at once." There was silence on the other end of the line, he could only hear his own laboured breathing. Then the girl spoke again. "Tahomaru, that... I'm sorry. How is she?" He tried to calm down. Control, Tahomaru. "She's in a coma. Doctors say she's stable, but no one can tell when she'll wake up." Would she even wake up again? "... Mutsu and Hyogo should be here soon. I... I'll hang up now, okay?" - "Wait a moment, Uncle Jukai wants something more from you... It will be all right, Tahomaru." The cell phone was passed on. "Tahomaru, about your mother... I'm sorry. And I wouldn't bother you with it now if it wasn't important. I examined Hyakkimaru again and found a snakebite." Snakebite? "I cannot rule out that this is another demon attack." A snake ... sure, if a moth, a fox, and a shark showed up, why not a snake too? "In any case, please take good care of yourself. They are now acting so aggressively against Hyakkimaru that it cannot be ruled out that you will also be a target. Do you understand that?" As absurd as it was, he almost laughed. Because he was already a target. "Yes, I know, thank you. See you soon." And with that it was quiet again. He put the phone aside and realized something was gripping his hand. His mother. She had closed her hand around his and was not letting go. And he wouldn't let go of her either.

Uncle Jukai was restless, made a lot of phone calls, kept walking to the practice and back, constantly checking Hyakkimarus condition, took blood samples from him, checking vital signs. At some point a courier service came with a bunch of stuff, medical equipment, medicines that she didn't know. And then Jukai told her in, while he put a cannula on her Aniki and put a huge syringe into a kind of pump. Hyakkimaru had been bitten by a venomous snake. The bite was unusually large but placed so precisely on the existing wound on Anikis leg that he had missed it during the first examination, so he suspected another demon attack. And he would need her help now. Usually a snakebite had to be treated in the hospital, but Jukai was concerned. In a clinic, he would have limited control over who would come into Hyakkimarus room. He would be an easy target in his condition. Besides, what would stop a demon from endangering bystanders? Even if he had to improvise here to treat Hyakkimaru himself, they had an advantage here. Control of the environment. Because he feared that the demons would not give up until Hyakkimaru was dead. Her greatest fear had become a reality, he had become from the hunter to the hunted. Uncle Jukai would have his hands full treating Hyakkimaru. Because even if he had incredible self-healing powers, the bite of a poisonous snake was possibly too much even for him. And since Tahomaru hadn't seen the snake, the doctor couldn't say exactly how the poison would work. He could only wait and react. And that's where she came in. She had to secure the house, keep an eye on the area, and be ready in case the worst came to the worst. Her gaze stayed briefly on Hyakkimaru. He was almost white as a sheet, looked fragile as if he were made of glass. As if he was going to disappear. He was not responsive, breathed too quickly and repeatedly he moaned briefly in pain. Uncle Jukai was examining the leg again, which was now swollen and red. The wounds Arijigoku had left last week had healed well, but the swelling made the scarring areas clearly visible. A large blister had formed around the fresh wound. But not the kind that came from tight shoes or a burn, no. It was misshapen, blue, dented, filled with blood. The sight didn't bother her somehow. Instead, she turned away and walked around the house to check that all the windows and doors were locked tightly. Then she brought Uncle Jukai the remaining daily dose of pills from his room so that he would not forget them before she cordoned off any unnecessary room or pushed heavy things in front of the doors. Then she went into the kitchen and spread all the knives she could find on the kitchen table. It was enough that they could hide several and that she and Uncle Jukai could each take one with them. Everything would be fine. She would protect her Aniki.

Time was running. It was late at night now and things were slowly calming down. There were no new "exclusive reports" and the last party colleague had stopped bombarding him with inquiries. He had a breather. For now. He'd really like to check on his wife and son. But he knew that as soon as he stepped outside the door in the current situation, he would have a bunch of paparazzi on his neck. He should go to sleep. Or at least try, because his wife had used up all the pills. And hopefully when he woke up in the morning his problem would be solved.

"Taho, come on, go home with Mutsu. I'll stay with Aunt Nui." No, he didn't want to go. He had to hold onto her. He felt hands on his back. "Just to sleep, okay, Tahomaru? When you've got some sleep, I'll bring you back to her right away, I promise." Couldn't he sleep here? He just didn't want to let go of his mother's hand. Was that so hard to understand? "Shall I hold her hand while you go to sleep?" ... Could he leave that to him? He trusted Hyogo, he was like a brother to him. "Just to sleep, Taho-tan" And Mutsu was a big sister to him. If the two made a promise, they kept it. And so he let go.

There it was. The little glow. It felt so good, warmed him, took away the pain. Life hurt so much sometimes, it was nice to have a break. All he wanted was to lie in front of this beautiful thing and think of nothing. Sometimes he felt as if someone was calling him, talking to him. But he didn't want to answer now. He was tired. So he slept. And let himself be comforted by the little glow.

Her head tilted to one side and her eyes widened again. Now she really was almost asleep. Uncle Jukai had told her to finally lie down even if she didn't want to. He could still hold out, but he too would have to rest at some point. And then she had to be awake and ready. She hated to admit it, but he was right. So she lay down on the sofa in Hyakkimarus room and covered herself. Even if it was actually warm, the rain which was still falling, made her shiver. She still thought that she'd better set her phone alarm, but then she was already asleep.

She would have loved to lie in her own bed, but Tahomaru just wouldn't let go of her hand. That's why she was lying here next to him in his bed and stroking his head like he was a little child. She was tired, but sleep just wouldn't come. Too many thoughts buzzed through her head, constantly turning their circles around each other as if they were dancing. She hadn`t thought that Aunt Nui's condition was actually so unstable that she would try to kill herself. And then it was Tahomaru, who was already pretty battered, who found his mother while his father was stuck in the study the whole time. So much misfortune wasn't normal, something was going really wrong in this family. She had heard quite a bit lately, her uncle Kagemitsu wasn't as subtle as he might think and she had pretty good ears. He was having strange conversations to himself about money and blood. A Sacrifice. And a cursed child which had to die. None of that made sense, sounded like quotes from a bad horror movie, but it wouldn't let go of her. And so she lay awake.

Hyakkimarus condition was stable. The poisoning did not spread any further, the antivenin worked. Even the blood counts slowly started to improve. How much of that was due to Hyakkimaru himself Jukai could not estimate. Even if he felt a certain relief now, something was bothering him. The demons took offensive action against Hyakkimaru, at the same time he got the order to kill the boy. The timing was too appropriate. Jukai didn't think it was a coincidence. There had to be a connection. Gradually all the details came together, creating a picture like a puzzle. And suddenly Jukai was dreading to pursue these connections further. Because once you knew something, you couldn't forget it. And drew conclusions from it. Some secrets were better left unrevealed. He decided not to think about it anymore and started a new infusion. He would soon have to sleep.

Aunt Nui didn't move, but he hadn't expected that either. Some might find it stupid that he had been sitting here all night in the dark, holding his aunt's hand, who didn't feel it anyway. But he had promised Tahomaru. He would hold her in place until he returned. In front of the window, the black of the night slowly turned back to a cloudy grey. How long would it continue to rain?

She had just been watching a video about venomous snakes without sound while Uncle Jukai was resting on the couch when she heard it. Something like scratching, pawing, creaking all along the wall. Something was right in front of the house, messing with the wall. She shook the man's shoulder to wake him up. He seemed a little confused at first because she gestured to him to be quiet and listen. Then he heard it too. There was a rumble now, almost like thunder. He gestured for her to stay silent and both moved as quietly as possible towards the wall from which this noise was coming. When they got to the window, they peered carefully out. The daylight was still weak so early, especially as there was still a thick blanket of clouds in the sky, from which it rained constantly. But they could see what kind of creature was sneaking out through the garden. A tiger. A pretty big, ugly, definitely demonic tiger. Oh. Holly. Shit. The monster kept brushing along the house, scratching the wall, then retreating. What exactly was it up to? And above all, how should they defeat it? While she was brooding, she heard something else. Someone tried to quietly open the locked front door. The tiger was still in her field of vision, trudging conspicuously through the wet grass. So there were several and this one was just the distraction. Great, really. She thought feverishly, looked hopefully at Jukai. Did he have an idea? He too seemed to be thinking before he indicated to her to keep an eye on the tiger and crept to Hyakkimarus bed. In the dim light that came in from the window, she saw how he unplugged him from the medical equipment and wrapped him up in the thin blanket of the sofa. Then he lifted him out of bed and sat him on the floor in a corner of the room. She heard a faint murmur, Hyakkimaru seemed to have noticed that something was going on, but was not conscious enough to understand the situation. Then Uncle Jukai quickly piled up some Hyakkimaru clothes in the bed and spread the blanket over them. If the demons wanted to attack their Aniki directly, it could distract them for a few seconds. Meanwhile, whoever was trying to break in through the doors had wandered on, trying the side door, the windows. Then they heard a clink, a pane broke. Jukai quickly locked the door and stood next to it like a security guard, the tapered Yanagiba knife in hand. She herself had her fingers closed tightly around the handle of the Santoku. The door handle moved. And then all hell broke loose.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello dear readership,
> 
> for this chapter I had to do a lot of medical research again. Poisonous snake bites can be really nasty ... Why do I torture the boys like that? Oh yes, because this is a drama.
> 
> Thank you for reading and stay safe
> 
> Sincerely yours
> 
> Otakuplant


	20. Necropsy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warnings: blood, murder, gore

Hyakkimaru hovered between being awake and falling back to sleep. His body felt heavy, he was in pain, but couldn't tell where. Because it was like everything was hurting. His right leg was the worst, it felt like it was burning from the inside out. Really, he would have liked to go back to sleep, staying with the little glow a little longer. But he heard it, saw it, and slowly it reached him, his mind began to work. A fight was going on around him. There was an unbelievable noise, roaring and shouting. Red. There was so much red. Dororo. DORORO! He tried to get up, his right leg didn't respond. He pulled himself up, propped up unsteadily on the piano. There was a huge demon right in front of him. And Dororo was below. His hands unlocked the blades on either side without having to think about it and he pushed himself off, falling more towards the red than he was walking. And rammed his blades sideways into the red's head. The demon wriggled, screamed, pushed him aside in one movement. He fell, the pain forced the air out of his lungs and he couldn't move for a moment. But Dororo was no longer on the floor, she had rolled out from under the monster and pulled something from under the chest of drawers before she pounced on the demon again. Slowly his perception became clearer, he was gradually able to grasp the situation. Papa was there too, he too had a knife in his hand and kept stabbing the demon from the other side. The demon lashed out, threw itself against them, but both stood on their feet, dodged and pushed forward. They fought alternately, together, in coordination. As soon as the red turned to one of them, the other had already stabbed it again on the other side. And gradually the demon slowed down, finally falling to the ground. It was silent for a second, then Papa yelled for him and threw the knife in his hand in his direction. A little way next to him it got stuck in the wall, something impaled. There was a second, long red hanging, writhing, trying to escape. He stabbed it quickly with his blade, hit it in the head. And it stopped moving, turned pale. It was dead. But the other red was still moving, twitching. Papa walked around it, up to him and helped him up. Without a word he led him to the still breathing red, supported him so that he would not fall. There was a crunch under Papas shoes and he kept pushing something to the side with his foot. And when they stood in front of it, Hyakkimaru struck his blade one last time into the demon's head. It faded.

Jukai carried Hyakkimaru to his bed to put him back in. And just as his back touched the mattress, it happened. Hyakkimarus body began to tremble. Dororo and Jukai sat down next to him, trying to guess what would come next to help him get rid of the artificial body parts faster. Arms or eyes? There, Hyakkimaru cupped himself by the shoulders, screamed. The arms. They didn't need any words, each grabbed an artificial limb and quickly pulled it from its stump. Not a second too early. Then, slowly, each stump began to grow longer, elbows formed and hands began to form from shapeless lumps of flesh. Slender wrists, thin fingers. Nails pushed over thin, developing skin. When it was over, Hyakkimaru lays in front of them, exhausted, sweaty, crying. Dororo closed her arms around Hyakkimaru and Jukai took them both in her arms. "Pa... Papa... Dororo..." He winced a little, sobbed as he tried to break free from the embrace. Jukai dropped his arms and Dororo also broke away from the boy. Hyakkimaru slowly raised his hands, first held them in front of his blind eyes, moved his fingers and then carefully placed them on the faces of the people who had helped him get them back. He didn't press, but ran his fingertips gently over their faces. Felt. Water. Tears. All tension fell away from them. They did it. They had destroyed one, no, two more demons. Hyakkimaru had got his arms. They lived.

With all the euphoria, they had much work to do. Hyakkimaru had fallen asleep again from exhaustion. He was actually still injured, poisoned. The last blood tests that Jukai had taken before he had to rest were better, but the bite itself was still a problem. And he couldn't stay in this room, the demon had completely destroyed the window when he just broke through. "Dororo, will you help me, please? I'll carry Hyakkimaru upstairs, you will take the infusion pump with you." - "Alright, Uncle Jukai." He took his son in his arms and turned to the door when he remembered. There lay the man who had belonged to the demons. Jukai had stabbed him in reflex with the knife before he turned to face the tiger. He thought for a moment, then simply stepped over the corpse. He would take care of it afterwards, they had to clean up anyway.

Breaking News: + + + + A party expulsion procedure has been initiated against MP Daigo Kagemitsu. All mandates are withdrawn from him and he loses his political immunity. Police investigations are ongoing. + + + +

Mutsu was sound asleep when he opened his eyes. The light that fell faintly through his window looked less dim than the last few days. It had stopped raining and maybe the cloud covered sky would clear today. He enjoyed the rest for a moment before his worries gradually crept back into him. How are his mother and Hyakkimaru doing? He could no longer lie there, had to get up. But sleep had helped, the panic he had felt yesterday was gone, he could think more clearly. Should he awaken Mutsu? After a brief consideration, he decided against it. It was only a little after six o'clock and she had been so considerate of him yesterday, now she deserved her sleep. As slowly and quietly as he could he got up, took some fresh clothes from the closet and left the room. First he made a detour to the kitchen and found the bag that he must have dropped carelessly yesterday when he entered the house. Inside were his still wet clothes and phone. Since it was still wet, he didn't even try to see if it still worked, but instead used his mother's phone to call Hyogo. "Good morning Taho, did you sleep well?" He sounded tired. "Like a dog. How is mother?" - "A doctor was just there. He said that we shouldn't worry and that she will definitely wake up again soon." She was fine. She wouldn't die. Tahomaru swallowed hard, he was relieved. "... Thank you Hyogo." - "Anytime, Taho. Do you already know when you're coming to pick me up? To be honest, I almost fall asleep." He let out a suppressed yawn and Tahomaru had to grin. "I'm sorry for you, but your sister is still sleeping. We'll come as soon as she wakes up." He only heard a vague grumble in response. "Bring me something to eat." - "Yes, we will. See you then." Immediately afterwards he dialled Jukais number. It rang for a long time before someone answered it. "Hello?" Ah, it was Dororo. "Hello Dororo." - "Ah, Tahomaru! How is your mother?" Although the girl sounded attentive, he could hear that she was tired too. Hadn't she slept? "According to the circumstances. I'll be with her later. How is Hyakkimaru?" The girl did not answer immediately. "It's ... well, he's not doing well, but it's not bad anymore either. He sleeps and the night was ... turbulent, yes, you can say that." Turbulent? "How do you mean that?" When she answered, she kept doing hum and haws. "Well, a snakebite is not to take lightly, you know ... well ... oh, you'll see it when you meet again. I have to stop now, Hyakkimaru calls you when he's awake, okay? See you!" She hung up and that struck Tahomaru as very strange. The night was turbulent? He couldn't help but worry, but there was nothing he could do for his boyfriend now. So he should actually wait until he got in touch with him. His eyes fell on the clock again. 6:21 am. And now he noticed. The housekeeper, Kumasawa-san, who always prepared the food, wasn't there yet. She usually started her work at 6:00 a.m. Why wasn't she here yet? Then he heard footsteps and his father went into the kitchen. "Good morning, father." He looked awful, as if he hadn't slept. And then it came back to Tahomaru. The media uproar yesterday, he had completely pushed it out of his mind. How should he deal with the fact that everyone now thought his father was abusing him? He only looked at him briefly, then looked away from him again. "Good morning ... Tahomaru ... The clinic called me earlier, your mother is doing well so far, she should come to herself again in the foreseeable future ..." He looked worn out, exhausted, seemed to be struggling for words. "Kumasawa-san is no longer coming. All employees quit after the instance yesterday." The instance yesterday. So that`s what they would call it. "You won't be going to school this week. I've already sorted that out." Right, it was Monday. He actually had school, it was exam week, then there was summer vacation. It all felt unreal. His hand itched. His father looked at him again, seemed about to say something. But then he lowered his eyes again, turned around. "I have to get back to work. Let me know if you need anything." And Tahomaru stood alone in the room again. He had never seen his father like this before. He almost succumbed to the temptation to check the news, but he resisted. It wouldn't do any good and he'd just get upset. He took the bag, his fresh clothes and went into the bathroom. It was only when he undressed that he noticed that he was still wearing the clothes that Jukai had given him yesterday. Hyakkimarus clothes.

Uncle Jukai had taken the body into the bathroom. She had no idea what he was up to and didn't want to know. All she knew was that this time the police wouldn't come. They had only waited a little to see if one of the neighbours had called the police about the noise, but when no one had shown up after half an hour, they had just started cleaning up. How should they even explain all this chaos? Yet again? So she sat here now, wiping blood from the floor for the second time this week, luckily a lot less. The straw was more annoying! Why had the tiger creature dissolved into straw? Anikis room wasn't an animal pen! And the snake had left them a pile of fine gravel, which was terribly dusty when it stepped on it earlier. It almost looked like cat litter. Then there were the broken glass and splinters of wood from the window that the demon had broken through. Also, a few of Hyakkimarus potted plants had been affected. She didn't even know how to dispose of all this stuff. Was that flammable or non-flammable garbage? Did she have to sort that out? Couldn't she just dump the whole pile in the garden? Frustrated, she threw the rag into the murky water of the bucket as she wiped up the last bit of blood. She needed a break, was tired and hungry. In the kitchen she took a pudding from the refrigerator and biscuits from the shelf. That would be enough for now. When she had eaten everything in less than two minutes, she decided to check on Hyakkimaru for a moment.

Exclusive news: The Fall of Daigo Kagemitsu. As already reported by many media outlets, a family drama has taken place in the politician's house. Even if the police deny reports that there is evidence of the mistreatment of the son Tahomaru, that is far from alright. Because there are even more dark clouds in the sky above the Daigo family home. It became known that investigations into the MP on suspicion of tax evasion, embezzlement and corruption were launched. Some of these deeds are said to have taken place years ago, but they feed rumours of how the formerly insignificant man was able to achieve such an ascent in a relatively short time. So everything was just a fraud? We'll keep you up to date.

“Daigo-san, you don't have to worry. I just want to know how you got these injuries.” What did this woman want from him? He had already explained it to the doctors who treated him yesterday. He got the bruises from kendo training. He had injured his hand and arm with the kitchen knife while peeling vegetables, yes, he was a bit clumsy. The hand-shaped bruise? What about it? A friend recently had an epileptic fit and grabbed his arm, he couldn't help it. He had sustained the round wounds on his chest when he fell off his bicycle. Yes, from the bike, over the handlebars. He had just said that he was a bit clumsy at times. No, theese on the crook of his neck and shoulders were nobody's business! "Daigo-san, you know there are options-" He didn't let her finish. "No, there are not. Because my father has nothing to do with any of this! If that's all I`m going now, I want to see my mother. ”And with that he left the woman from the youth welfare office.

All in all his hands were soft, only the fingertips were strange. The skin there was thicker, but just as sensitive as the back of the hand, which tickled quite a bit when he touched there. He keeps putting his fingertips together. Thumb, forefinger, middle finger, ring finger, little finger. Run one hand over the other, let them clasp each other. He would have liked to sit up completely, but Papa had said he had to lie down a little longer. He couldn't make any effort, even if he was feeling fine. A needle was stuck in each of his thighs, through which something flowed into his body. Medicine had said papa. That's why he wasn't allowed to get up. Only the medicine made sure he was fine. He was bored, he had already felt all things within reach with his hands. The wall, cold and hard, a little rough. The wood of Papa's bed frame, strangely smooth, but warming quickly under his hand. The bedding, soft, yielding, lying around him. His own face. Did it tickle everywhere like that? He started over tapping with his fingers when the door opened and his little sister stuck her head in. "Aniki." Before he could react, she was already by his side and had her arms around him. "How are you?" He ran a hand over her head and combed his fingers through the loose strands of hair that had come off her ponytail. Soft. "I'm bored." She laughed. "Yeah, I guess. I would be bored too if I had to lie around all the time. But Uncle Jukai says you're filled to brimming with narcotics, you wouldn't even notice if your leg fell off. So, don't stand up." His leg falling off? He pulled the blanket over his legs to one side. He felt the left one, he could move his toes so that they grip the soft fabric of the blanket. It tickled. But the right one was still numb. From the point at which the needle stuck into his skin, he felt nothing, couldn't move it. And now that he focused on it, he saw something strange. There was a pale spot on his leg. Grey. The colour of things. How could his real leg take the colour of things? "Dororo... how does my leg look like?" - "... What exactly do you mean?" He heard it in her tone, she didn't want to tell him. "There's something grey... how does it look like?" There was a tremor in his voice that he hadn't heard before. His sister breathed in audibly, seemed to consider, then pointed to the spot, held her finger just above it. "There... a demon bit and poisoned you there. That's why you feel so bad and you get so many infusions. The poison... could have killed you, but Uncle Jukai gave you an antidote quickly enough." He hadn't asked that and she knew it. His fingers dug into the fabric of the sheet. "How?!" Why didn't she tell him? "Aniki... It... it looks terrible. The spot there is a black and blue blood blister, everything around it is red and swollen. The skin there... is dead and... probably some of the flesh underneath too." Something of his body was dead. He wasn't even complete, and already something of him was dead. His chest contracted, he felt as if he couldn't breathe. He was afraid. What if it got bigger? Could he even lose the leg again? In addition to fear, there was anger like he had never felt before. His hands trembled and hurt, his fingernails dug into his palms. They had torn him to pieces as soon as he was born. Had robbed him of all senses so that he would have had to wait for death mute and numb in a silent, dark world. They killed Mio. They tried to kill Dororo. They tried to take Papa away from him. And now they wanted to take Tahomaru away from him. He hated them! He hated them so much! And most of all, he hated those who condemned him to this! Yes he knew! His birth parents had done that, had begotten him and then fed him to the demons as if he were just a piece of meat! Whatever they bought with his sacrifice, they should croak on it! "-NIKI! ANIKI! PLEASE STOP!" There was a weight on his chest, holding him tight, pressing him into the pillow under his torso. Small hands clutching the fabric of his T-shirt. Hair that brushed his face. Dororo. The screaming from his throat stopped. His hands let go, the tension left him. His breath came in gusts, tears flowed from his eye sockets, he sobbed. He was so terrified. Dororo had her hand on his head now, stroking him again. "It's fine, Aniki. It's fine. Uncle Jukai said earlier that he'll operate on you as soon as you feel better. Then it's gone." Then a piece of him would be gone. Well, actually it was already gone. Dead. It was unfair. So unfair.

Her hand was warm. Tahomaru ran his fingers over her skin, stroking the individual phalanges. Those hands, they had held him, carried him, caressed him. If not as often as he might have wished, but they did. That was what mattered. Mutsu was just bringing Hyogo home and Tahomaru was sure he would fall asleep in the car. He had to laugh a little. His mother's phone rang, the number was Jukais. "Hello?" - "Tahomaru." It was Hyakkimaru. He was fine. Tahomaru felt a tremendous relief when he heard his lovers voice. The girl's reluctance this morning had scared him. "How are you?" - "Not good. I'm bored. I am not allowed to get up and Papa has to operate on me later." So it was bad after all. The fear slowly crept back into his body and involuntarily he gripped his mother's hand tighter. "Why do you need an operation?" Hyakkimaru hesitated. Why did he hesitate? "I was bitten by a poisonous snake when I fought the demon yesterday. Dororo says I almost died. Papa still has to cut something out of ... my leg, otherwise it might have to be cut off completely." The information was slow to seep into Tahomarus mind. A venomous snake. Hyakkimaru almost died. Operate. Leg. He felt sick again, his right palm began to itch under the fresh bandage. Has his boyfriend never allowed to live in peace? Couldn't the demons just leave him alone? Why did they even try to kill him after all these years? Had he become a threat to them? Why? "... Tahomaru, are you still there?" - "... Yes, I'm still here... Tell me, how do they even find you?" - "I don't know. It's only been like this recently." They were silent for a while, each alone with his own thoughts. Then Tahomaru remembered something. "What was that yesterday? When you were here, I mean." Hyakkimaru didn't answer right away and Tahomaru thought he might have fallen asleep again when the other started to speak. "Sometimes when I sleep I'm somewhere else. That happens since I can remember. Most of the time I'm at the same place. There is something small and luminous. I like it. And very often ... your mama is there too." His mother? Hyakkimaru knew his mother? "I always thought I was dreaming. But yesterday I recognized you both and realized that they are probably not dreams after all. I don't know why that happens. Nobody has ever noticed me before. Just you." Only he. Yes, he had felt it yesterday. Not as a touch, but rather as warmth, like sunlight on the skin. "Hyakkimaru ... I love you." - "I love you too, Tahomaru."

It was a disgusting business to take a body apart. He hated killing itself less than this. He'd always hated it, even during his medical study when they'd been practising on donor bodies. Operate. Autopsy. Amputate. He hated it when he cut off the head and exsanguinated the corpse over the tub. He hated it when he severed the limbs one by one at the joints. He hated it when he opened the body and took out the entrails, washed them roughly in the water so that the stench wouldn't be so unbearable before he chopped them to pieces. He hated it when he put all the parts on top of each other to save space and packed them in a large garbage bag. He hated it when he mixed the innards with the clay granules the snake demon had left behind in a garbage bag as well. He hated the fact that a person could fit in a couple of garbage bags. He hated it and would always hate it. But the thought of him doing it for Hyakkimaru kept him going. Do not despair and break again because the beast growled contentedly in him, about how every move was still correct even years later. If he accepted that it was part of him, it gave him the opportunity to protect his son. With his own blood-smeared hands.

It did not get better. The coverage, his shares, his reputation. Everything. It all went downhill, nearly beyond recovery. He had checked it. There were only two statues left from the previous twelve. Nue had failed. And he heard her. The vixen. She laughed, mocked him, ridiculed at him for being a foolish human who thought he could have everything without having to pay for it by himself. He had no choice, no matter how reluctant he was. He should have agreed to it earlier, then the price might not have been so high, then he could still have negotiated. But now he was basically at the mercy of her whim, her grace. As if demons knew something like that. There it was again, the laughter.

_Don't worry, you stupid old man. I am not an ogre. You get him back alive. Maybe not in one piece... But it all depends on what you want me to do for you. I can bring everything back to you and more. You could finally reach your goal of becoming the most powerful man in the country. Say, isn't it worth it?_

Was it that? His son, who had never caused him sorrow or shame, always made him proud. What was Tahomaru worth to him?

Papa smelled strange, it made him sick. Or was the smell coming from the wound? From the hole Papa cut in his leg? What he got out of there? He wanted to see it, had convinced Papa that he could stay awake. Now there was thing-grey his own flesh in a bowl. Dead. "It didn't go as deep as I feared. The injury should now heal well. But I'll have to keep giving you antibiotics." He only listened half-heartedly, continued to stare at the thing in the bowl. "I want to touch it." Papa, who was sewing the wound, paused. "... Are you sure?" He nodded and Papa handed him the bowl without saying a word. No, it smelled different. Also nauseating, but different. So the smell came from Papa after all. He carefully led his fingers to it, ran them over the surface. Muddy, cold, sticky. He had something on his fingers now. It smelled of iron. Blood. He had his own blood on his hands, it was like a thin layer over his skin. Encrusted. Crumbled. He put the bowl aside, was done with it. It no longer belonged to him. His fingers rubbed together, he felt the difference on his hands. One hand without blood, the other with. This is what blood felt on his hands. He had to remember that.

When she woke up, her son was lying next to her. More precisely, he was sitting on a chair next to her and his torso had slumped forward onto her bed. He held her hand in his sleep. Tahomaru. She looked around. A sick room. Sunlight came in through the window, it had to be after noon. Little by little her memory came back. A strange voice in her head. A deep black abyss in her mind. The tablets. What had she done? Her fingers brushed Tahomarus hair. Why did she try to leave her son alone? Had the merciful Kannon and her dead child not admonished her, reminded her that he needed his mother? Another memory came back to her mind. Two voices that whispered in this eternal twilight.

... _Mama ... don't die_.

That whisper. They both had called her and led her through the twilight. Back to the day. The sky was blue. Tahomaru moved under her hand, woke up. "Mama?" Not mother. Mama. When was the last time he called her Mama? "I'm here, my dearest. I'm with you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello dear readership.
> 
> Are you alright? :) I have to say that I really like this chapter. Jukai and Dororo are ... competent. I like it when characters are competent <3
> 
> AND: Jukai finally gets a grip on himself. Thanks man.
> 
> I also find it exciting that Hyakkimaru actually panicked for once. I think it makes him more human. That's something that I missed in the anime: that he is also afraid for himself. Because he fights so ruthlessly towards himself that it borders on stupidity. But well, that's how he is. But now I am slowly beginning to realize what kind of man I have portrayed Kagemitsu here. Poor Taho, now he's going to be an bargaining chip too :(
> 
> This is where the fundamental difference between Jukai and Kagemitsu comes into play: Jukai gets his own hands dirty, while Kagemitsu likes to throw others into the breach.
> 
> By the way, in german exists the phrase “über Leichen gehen” (stepping over corpses) which means “to do anything to reach your goal even if you harm others” and is mostly used for unscrupulous people. And yes, Jukai is ready to do anything to protect Hyakkimaru... I love puns.
> 
> Incidentally, I borrowed the instructions for dismantling a corpse from a manga. Anyone who knows which one can make a wish :)
> 
> Thank you for reading and stay safe
> 
> Sincerely yours
> 
> Otakuplant


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